Lucie Hemmen > Quotes

“If your relationship is injured because conflict smothers exploration and batters connection, she may get better at hiding her behavior and fail to identify you as a resource.”
― Lucie Hemmen, Parenting a Teen Girl: A Crash Course on Conflict, Communication, and Connection with Your Teenage Daughter

“When your daughter pulls back from you, she’s not being cruel. Her reaction is natural, age appropriate, and healthy. In fact, if your daughter doesn’t recoil but instead tries to accommodate your need for her, she may sacrifice her own healthy development. She may be more attuned to your needs than her own, and such accommodation has a price. Acting as emotional caretaker for a parent requires sacrifice from a teen girl, who should be developing a sense of herself as separate from Mom or Dad. Although this can be a father-daughter dynamic, it is more common between mothers and daughters.”
― Lucie Hemmen, Parenting a Teen Girl: A Crash Course on Conflict, Communication, and Connection with Your Teenage Daughter

“healthy”
― Lucie Hemmen, Parenting a Teen Girl: A Crash Course on Conflict, Communication, and Connection with Your Teenage Daughter

“Sprinkle reminders throughout your home: old photographs, art projects, or the pinch pot she made for you in kindergarten will remind you that your daughter is more than her current behavior.”
― Lucie Hemmen, Parenting a Teen Girl: A Crash Course on Conflict, Communication, and Connection with Your Teenage Daughter

“Teen Task 1: Gaining Independence Your daughter needs to push away and be less close to you. Yes, you can be an important and stabilizing force for her. No, she isn’t super interested in you, your feelings, or your life. She mostly doesn’t consider the impact she has on you. And when you feel the need to share your feelings, you may be greeted by a decided lack of enthusiasm. Every now and again she may “beam in” to share, connect, compliment, or criticize, but for the most part she focuses her attention elsewhere. If being her parent has been your main source of identity and value, her need to separate will be extremely painful. It’s”
― Lucie Hemmen, Parenting a Teen Girl: A Crash Course on Conflict, Communication, and Connection with Your Teenage Daughter