Lynn Toler > Quotes

“Lack of fairness is not an excuse for bad behavior; it is simply
information. If you are required to jump five hurdles to everyone else's three, and if you are unable to remove the extra ones, you are left with two options. You can remain at the starting line, ranting and raving in a fit of unproductive indignation. Or you can jump over those hurdles. Either way, the race will end when it ends. Where you're standing when it does, however, is completely up to you.”
― Lynn Toler, My Mother's Rules: A Practical Guide to Becoming an Emotional Genius

“While you may have the right to feel the way you do, you may not realize that you also have the ability to feel just about any way you want.”
― Lynn Toler, My Mother's Rules: A Practical Guide to Becoming an Emotional Genius

“You have to work at becoming a better emotional manager. But to start, you must first believe that you can control how you feel. Then, you have to make a point of doing so.”
― Lynn Toler, My Mother's Rules: A Practical Guide to Becoming an Emotional Genius

“Marriage provides a sense of consistency and structure that I contend humanity does not do well without. Married people tend to be more financially stable. Men who marry live longer. They also tend to be less prone to go around and do really aggressive stuff. In a good marriage, we gain a place to set our troubles down. And a stable marriage is a great way to raise kids.”
― Lynn Toler, Making Marriage Work: New Rules for an Old Institution

“I realized that a lot of people in my courtroom have problems not because they made a wrong decision, but they failed to make any decision at all.”
― Lynn Toler

“Most people are not, I have realized, emotionally well-practiced. We tend to misunderstand our fears and misinterpret our desires. We act when we ought to sit still; we feel when we should instead think, and in the end, this allows our emotions to handle us as opposed to us handling them.”
― Lynn Toler, My Mother's Rules: A Practical Guide to Becoming an Emotional Genius

“Marriage involves compromise, sacrifice, and—on occasion—a bit of suffering.”
― Lynn Toler, Making Marriage Work: New Rules for an Old Institution