Aaron James > Quotes

“Our theory is simply this: a person counts as an asshole when, and only when, he systematically allows himself to enjoy special advantages in interpersonal relations out of an entrenched sense of entitlement that immunizes him against the complaints of other people.”
― Aaron James, Assholes: A Theory

“Assholes are a given fact of life. They are a fact of life we must somehow make peace with if we are to be at peace with life itself.”
― Aaron James, Assholes: A Theory

“To summarize, then, our three requirements for a good theory of assholes are as follows. We are looking for (1) a stable trait of character, (2) that leads a person to impose only small or moderate material costs upon others, (3) but that nevertheless qualifies the person as morally repugnant.”
― Aaron James, Assholes: A Theory

“If we look at global trends, though, asshole production seems to be on the rise.”
― Aaron James, Assholes: A Theory

“If someone treats you disrespectfully or speaks unkindly about you, remember that he or she does so from [his or her] impression that it is right to do so. It is unrealistic to expect that this person sees you as you see yourself. If another person reaches conclusions based on false impressions, he or she is the one hurt rather than you, because it is that person who is misguided.”
― Aaron James, Assholes: A Theory

“As we will see, assholes threaten to destabilize whole societies, especially capitalist societies of the particular sort that we increasingly have.”
― Aaron James, Assholes: A Theory

“Our theory is simply this: a person counts as an asshole when, and only when, he systematically allows himself to enjoy special advantages in interpersonal relations out of an entrenched sense of entitlement that immunizes him against the complaints of other people. (Because assholes are by and large men, we use the masculine pronoun “he” advisedly. We will suggest that women can be assholes as well. For the time being, think of Ann Coulter.”
― Aaron James, Assholes: A Theory

“the asshole’s “entrenched sense of entitlement” leads him to systematically think or assume that he has special entitlements that, from a moral point of view, he does not have.”
― Aaron James, Assholes: A Theory

“The asshole, by contrast, traffics in and is moved by moral justification—except that moral justification, for him, leads to an entrenched sense of special entitlement”
― Aaron James, Assholes: A Theory

“Should you devote your life to asshole aikido? While that would not be entirely unworthy, there are probably better things to do with the limited time one has in life, things such as learning to paint large canvases in the abstract; refining one’s taste in jazz; or, indeed, learning the martial art of aikido for the sake of the practice itself (rather than for the few occasions one will ever use it in a fight). Life affords only so much time, and there are better things to do—sweeter spots to hit—than perfection in the asshole management arts.”
― Aaron James, Assholes: A Theory

“No amount of angry protest will get a true asshole to listen. As we explained in chapter 1, he is entrenched in his outlook; he is exceedingly good at walling out complaints, and, in this, he will most likely never change. Although neither resignation nor all-out resistance seems finally acceptable, we often have only the faintest sense of an ever-elusive better way.”
― Aaron James, Assholes: A Theory

“of view, may show that he is not getting the respect he deserves. Although our theory is a definition of the term “asshole,” we should emphasize that it is not necessarily a dictionary definition. It is not necessarily a claim about how the word “asshole”
― Aaron James, Assholes: A Theory

“The key is to understand why we are easily tempted to fight on the asshole’s terms: we are fighting for moral recognition in his eyes.”
― Aaron James, Assholes: A Theory

“Fully cooperative people, we may say, see themselves as equals, as having grounds for special treatment only in special circumstances that others will equally enjoy at the appropriate times.”
― Aaron James, Assholes: A Theory

“Assholes are found daily on cable news, where hosts repeatedly interrupt their guests, and also on talk radio, where airtime is given to commentators who thrive on falsehood and invective. Even”
― Aaron James, Assholes: A Theory

“[A] person counts as an asshole just in case he systematically allows himself to enjoy special advantages in interpersonal relations out of an entrenched sense of entitlement that immunizes him against complaints of other people.”
― Aaron James

“The fight can become extraordinarily frustrating because the asshole usually wins: his sense of entitlement is entrenched, so there is usually no getting through.”
― Aaron James, Assholes: A Theory

“However misguided, the asshole is morally motivated. He is fundamentally different from the psychopath, who either lacks or fails to engage moral concepts, and who sees people as so many objects in the world to be manipulated at will. The asshole takes himself to be justified in enjoying special advantages from cooperative relations. Given”
― Aaron James, Assholes: A Theory

“We might put the idea this way: much of what is given, including our fleshly nature, is, in a certain sense, to be respected. It is to be respected for what it just is, and therefore not to be wholly shaped or controlled (at least not without a pretty good justification).”
― Aaron James, Assholes: A Theory

“We will suggest that women can be assholes as well. For the time being, think of Ann Coulter. We”
― Aaron James, Assholes: A Theory

“Grounds for reasonable hope don’t have to be conclusive or decisive. Reasonable hope, again, isn’t predictive confidence.”
― Aaron James, Assholes: A Theory

“It is not the maleness of males per SE that explains the proliferation of masculine assholes. It is not that men are assholes, as though non-asshole men have somehow overcome their inherently asshole tendencies. Rather, the influence of gender culture is just very deep. Deep gender culture, not maleness, is primarily to blame for the fact that assholes are mainly men.”
― Aaron James, Assholes: A Theory

“Reactive feelings do not simply arise in the moment of confrontation. They can intrude upon a pleasant sunny day, in a flashing image of the man in question suddenly breaking out in a rash, of his losing bladder control in a public place, of his convulsing from having eaten poisoned food, of his being mowed down by a truck, of his being crushed by a meteor, or of fluids spraying spontaneously out of all his orifices (onto his friends standing nearby).1”
― Aaron James, Assholes: A Theory

“They’ve got a set of Republican waiters on one side and set of Democratic waiters on the other side, but no matter which set of waiters brings you the dish, the legislative grub is all prepared in the same Wall Street kitchen”).”
― Aaron James, Assholes: A Theory

“The general problem is that the asshole helps himself to more than his share, or acts out of turn, or sloughs off the burdens that must generally be carried if the practices in question are to work.”
― Aaron James, Assholes: A Theory

“According to Rousseau, healthy self-love does not require comparing oneself to others at all; feeling worthy does not necessarily involve feeling superior to someone.”
― Aaron James, Assholes: A Theory

“The asshole is not just another annoying person but a deeply bothersome person—bothersome enough to trigger feelings of powerlessness, fear, or rage.”
― Aaron James, Assholes: A Theory

“The asshole is the guy (they are mainly men) who systematically allows himself advantages in social relationships out of an entrenched (and mistaken) sense of entitlement that immunizes him against the complaints of other people. That is, he meets these three conditions: He allows himself special advantages in social relationships, and does so systematically; He’s motivated by an entrenched (and mistaken) sense of entitlement; He’s immunized against the complaints of other people.”
― Aaron James, Assholes: A Theory of Donald Trump

“Those who are already cooperatively disposed can hold out in cooperative faith and adopt the attitudes that encourage it—attitudes such as tolerance, mutual understanding, and long-suffering.”
― Aaron James, Assholes: A Theory

“All too often, fair is foul and foul is fair. Yet the witches of social life cannot foretell our fates. Social life can be fairer and less foul, if, but only if, cooperators of the world unite.”
― Aaron James, Assholes: A Theory