Mrs. Stephen Fry > Quotes

“But above all, marriage is about wanting to share your life with someone you really, truly love but staying with your spouse instead, no matter how much they irritate and ignore you.”
― Mrs. Stephen Fry, How To Have An Almost Perfect Marriage

“Scientists have now developed a special pillow which is 100% effective in stopping snoring – provided you hold it firmly enough.”
― Mrs. Stephen Fry, How To Have An Almost Perfect Marriage

“Many argue, pointing out that the majority of top chefs are male and while I accept that I could never hope to compete with their colourful turns of phrase, I maintain that when it comes to good, traditional, edible cuisine what you really need is a woman. And a can opener. And a microwave.”
― Mrs. Stephen Fry, How To Have An Almost Perfect Marriage

“Do you love Edna?’. ‘Of course!’ he announced, wildly waving a bottle of champagne in the air, ‘…whoever Edna is.”
― Mrs. Stephen Fry, How To Have An Almost Perfect Marriage

“At our own wedding, Stephen was sponsored by Kevin’s kebab van and the Kashmiri Palace – and our honeymoon was paid for by a company called Candid Camera Midnight Movies Ltd, although I’ve still no idea what they got out of it.”
― Mrs. Stephen Fry, How To Have An Almost Perfect Marriage

“lifeless and ready for the scrap heap. The Bedroom Mirror is also a highly important item. It needn’t be especially ornate but should be full-length to allow you and your partner to see what they look like from top to toe. Of course, couples of a certain age such as Stephen and, to an extent, myself may prefer a more forgiving and less revealing length. For those couples, I would recommend a mirror no greater than 60 centimetres in length, which also has the advantages of being quicker to clean”
― Mrs. Stephen Fry, How To Have An Almost Perfect Marriage

“Very often, we’ll spend the entire night watching back-to-back horror movies, starting with something slightly scary such as the original Frankenstein or Alvin and the Chipmunks before building up to stronger fare like The Exorcist and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and ending with our wedding video.”
― Mrs. Stephen Fry, How To Have An Almost Perfect Marriage

“Windows – They can be single-, double- or even triple-glazed but all windows serves the same purpose – to enable you to sit all day staring hopelessly out at the grey, empty world, wondering how you came to be stuck here with six or seven children and a husband whose idea of a cultural evening is a seat at Monster Trucks on Ice and whose idea of romance is two seats at Monster Trucks on Ice.”
― Mrs. Stephen Fry, How To Have An Almost Perfect Marriage

“Boy George famously said a cup of tea is better than you-know-what. I’m not sure about that but it certainly takes longer.”
― Mrs. Stephen Fry, How To Have An Almost Perfect Marriage