Jay Pathak > Quotes

“Maturity happens when you put yourself in the place God wants you. Don’t run because there’s adversity. Maybe God wants to use the adversity to make you more like Jesus.”
― Jay Pathak, The Art of Neighboring: Building Genuine Relationships Right Outside Your Door

“The hardest part about loving others is that you can always do more. You can always give more time, energy, and money to those in need. But you can’t be everything to everyone, so stop making yourself feel bad about not doing more.”
― Jay Pathak, The Art of Neighboring: Building Genuine Relationships Right Outside Your Door

“Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”
― Jay Pathak, The Art of Neighboring: Building Genuine Relationships Right Outside Your Door

“We all need to get back to the basics of what he commanded: love God and love others. Everything else is secondary.”
― Jay Pathak, The Art of Neighboring: Building Genuine Relationships Right Outside Your Door

“The problem is, however, that when we aim for everything, we hit nothing. So when we insist we’re neighbors with everybody, often we end up being neighbors with nobody.”
― Jay Pathak, The Art of Neighboring: Building Genuine Relationships Right Outside Your Door

“Love and hurry are fundamentally incompatible. Love always takes time, and time is the one thing hurried people don’t have.”
― Jay Pathak, The Art of Neighboring: Building Genuine Relationships Right Outside Your Door

“After the mayor left the meeting that day, our group of pastors was left to reflect on what he had shared. I (Jay) can remember sitting there, and before I could think, I just blurted out, “Am I the only one here who is a little bit embarrassed? I mean, here we were asking the mayor how we can best serve the city, and he basically tells us that it would be great if we could just get our people to obey the second half of the Great Commandment.” In a word, the mayor invited a roomful of pastors to get their people to actually obey Jesus.”
― Jay Pathak, The Art of Neighboring: Building Genuine Relationships Right Outside Your Door

“There is a world of difference between forgiveness and reconciliation. Just because we forgive someone doesn’t mean we need to be best friends with him. Sometimes a relationship will still be broken, even if forgiveness has been granted. Reconciliation is the hard work of how we go forward together, whereas forgiveness is an attitude of the heart. We should offer everyone forgiveness, but we will not be reconciled with everyone we have wronged or who has wronged us.”
― Jay Pathak, The Art of Neighboring: Building Genuine Relationships Right Outside Your Door

“We want to feel as though our story connects to something larger than ourselves. AS we learn to hear others' stories, we can connect to their heart and see how God is at work in their lives.”
― Jay Pathak

“Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. “Do not fear their threats; do not be frightened.” But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience.”
― Jay Pathak, The Art of Neighboring: Building Genuine Relationships Right Outside Your Door

“The single best way to become good at anything is to do it over and over again.”
― Jay Pathak, The Art of Neighboring: Building Genuine Relationships Right Outside Your Door

“I have come to believe that, as followers of Jesus, one of the worthiest endeavors we can undertake is to take the Great Commandment seriously and learn to be in relationship with our literal neighbors.”
― Jay Pathak, The Art of Neighboring: Building Genuine Relationships Right Outside Your Door

“friendly with everyone and be close to a few.”
― Jay Pathak, The Art of Neighboring: Building Genuine Relationships Right Outside Your Door

“Your life is a story- whether you realize it or not. So how would you tell it to someone else? What are the different layers in your story? And what parts are you most afraid to tell? Sharing your story, both the good and the bad parts, is key to building long-lasting relationships.”
― Jay Pathak, The Art of Neighboring: Building Genuine Relationships Right Outside Your Door

“To be sure, throughout this journey we have often thought, This neighboring stuff is just too messy. I’m just not sure it’s worth it. And being honest here—you may get to a point where you too just want to throw in the towel. But fortunately we are learning the value of leaning in and embracing the tension. All you can do is remember the words of Jesus. Remember that neighboring really matters. And remember that being a good neighbor is something that both changes the people who live around us and changes us as well.”
― Jay Pathak, The Art of Neighboring: Building Genuine Relationships Right Outside Your Door

“And that may mean God will call you to say no to some good things so you can focus on the things that are really important. Certainly”
― Jay Pathak, The Art of Neighboring: Building Genuine Relationships Right Outside Your Door

“I am learning that there are people right around me that have incredible things to share with me and others. It’s like I have been living next to a gold mine, but I was too busy to know there was gold right next door.”
― Jay Pathak, The Art of Neighboring: Building Genuine Relationships Right Outside Your Door

“Ulterior means something is intentionally kept concealed. An ulterior motive is usually manipulative. It’s when we do or say one thing out in the open but intend or mean another thing in private. Ultimate means the farthest point of a journey. An ultimate goal is an eventual point or a longed-for destination. Examples are when a person begins college hoping to become a physician one day or when a kid starts playing basketball with dreams of one day playing in”
― Jay Pathak, The Art of Neighboring: Building Genuine Relationships Right Outside Your Door

“Neighboring is not always about being happy and comfortable; it’s about allowing God to polish off rough edges. Maturity happens when you put yourself in the place God wants you. Don’t run because there’s adversity. Maybe God wants to use the adversity to make you more like Jesus.”
― Jay Pathak, The Art of Neighboring: Building Genuine Relationships Right Outside Your Door

“We don’t love our neighbors to convert them; we love our neighbors because we are converted.”
― Jay Pathak, The Art of Neighboring: Building Genuine Relationships Right Outside Your Door

“In this life, we can do only a few things really well; I think it’s a good idea to make certain that one of those things is what Jesus says is most important.”
― Jay Pathak, The Art of Neighboring: Building Genuine Relationships Right Outside Your Door

“Jesus got a lot done but he never seemed to be in a hurry. He lived a passionate, purposeful life but was never in a rush. The question for us, then, is how can we live like Jesus? The answer: we must learn how to keep the main thing the main thing.”
― Jay Pathak, The Art of Neighboring: Building Genuine Relationships Right Outside Your Door

“Boundaries define us. They define what is me and what is not me. A boundary shows me where I end and someone else begins, leading me to a sense of ownership. Knowing what I am to own and take responsibility for gives me freedom.”
― Jay Pathak, The Art of Neighboring: Building Genuine Relationships Right Outside Your Door

“The best way forward, then, is to invest time in relationships with those who seem open and responsive.”
― Jay Pathak, The Art of Neighboring: Building Genuine Relationships Right Outside Your Door

“But as a pastor, I have noticed some striking similarities between the sales industry and how some Christians share their faith. In a well-meaning attempt to “sell” a good thing, we have all heard pastors use high-pressure sales techniques to sell the gospel. “What would happen if you walked out of this room today and were hit by a car and died? Would you go to heaven or hell?”
― Jay Pathak, The Art of Neighboring: Building Genuine Relationships Right Outside Your Door

“Your life is a story—whether you realize it or not. So how would you tell it to someone else? What are the different layers in your story? And what parts are you most afraid to tell? Sharing your story, both the good and bad parts, is key to building long-lasting relationships.”
― Jay Pathak, The Art of Neighboring: Building Genuine Relationships Right Outside Your Door

“Everyone is busy, and we all have different stories and struggle with different issues that compete for our attention and our time. We all should be concerned about how much we cram into our schedules. If we truly want to be great neighbors, we are going to have to make some adjustments. And that may mean God will call you to say no to some good things so you can focus on the things that are really important.”
― Jay Pathak, The Art of Neighboring: Building Genuine Relationships Right Outside Your Door

“Our purpose in life is to love God and love others.”
― Jay Pathak, The Art of Neighboring: Building Genuine Relationships Right Outside Your Door

“And if you haven’t figured this out already, not everyone has time for you. People have other priorities and other relationships. Sometimes you’ll end up as one of your neighbor’s closest friends; sometimes you won’t.”
― Jay Pathak, The Art of Neighboring: Building Genuine Relationships Right Outside Your Door

“When giving is one-sided, it robs the “needy” one of his dignity, because it makes him dependent. But when giving is two-sided, everyone feels a sense of worth. We need to understand that everyone on our block has something to bring to a relationship.”
― Jay Pathak, The Art of Neighboring: Building Genuine Relationships Right Outside Your Door