Rick Patterson > Quotes

“there is no more disastrous path than to seek to violate one’s basic nature. If an introverted individual feels deficient because of that introvertedness and seeks to become extroverted, as though this were the better way to be, the seeds of neurosis are already growing” (Kaufman 1992, 151).”
― Rick Patterson, Shame Unmasked: Disarming the Hidden Driver Behind Our Destructive Decisions

“It results in reactions ranging from a passion to accomplish in order to prove to the world you are of value or a shrinking from any responsibility or “presence” in order to avoid being discovered for who you are. All of which works great—until it stops working.”
― Rick Patterson, Shame Unmasked: Disarming the Hidden Driver Behind Our Destructive Decisions

“the principal desire of “shame” is to separate us from ourselves and each other.”
― Rick Patterson, Shame Unmasked: Disarming the Hidden Driver Behind Our Destructive Decisions

“A person with internalized shame believes he is inherently flawed, inferior and defective. Such a feeling is so painful that defending scripts (or strategies) are developed to cover it up. These scripts are the roots of violence, criminality, war, and all forms of addiction”
― Rick Patterson, Shame Unmasked: Disarming the Hidden Driver Behind Our Destructive Decisions

“Shame insists we must make it on our own. Pride is a defense mechanism shame uses to prevent us from acknowledging this weakness and asking for help.”
― Rick Patterson, Shame Unmasked: Disarming the Hidden Driver Behind Our Destructive Decisions

“The dilemma is/was that when we have allowed our shame to set ourselves up in a position of greatness, we are also at risk of a more horrific fall.”
― Rick Patterson, Shame Unmasked: Disarming the Hidden Driver Behind Our Destructive Decisions

“I also believe that the lie itself is not that you are not enough. No one is ever enough. That’s part of being human. The lie is that not being enough is a bad thing and that we must be about fixing that issue.”
― Rick Patterson, Shame Unmasked: Disarming the Hidden Driver Behind Our Destructive Decisions

“However, I quickly realized that just because you’re wearing boots, you haven’t shaved in a week, and you smell like crap, doesn’t mean you’re a cowboy.”
― Rick Patterson, Shame Unmasked: Disarming the Hidden Driver Behind Our Destructive Decisions