Neil Strauss > Quotes

“Attraction is not an option. ”
― Neil Strauss

“In life, people tend to wait for good things to come to them. And by waiting, they miss out. Usually, what you wish for doesn't fall in your lap; it falls somewhere nearby, and you have to recognize it, stand up, and put in the time and work it takes to get to it. This isn't because the universe is cruel. It's because the universe is smart. It has its own cat-string theory and knows we don't appreciate things that fall into our laps.”
― Neil Strauss, The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists

“We have this idea that love is supposed to last forever. But love isn't like that. It's a free-flowing energy that comes and goes when it pleases. Sometimes, it stays for life; other times it stays for a second, a day, a month or a year. So don't fear love when it comes simply because it makes you vulnerable. But don't be surprised when it leaves either. Just be glad you had the opportunity to experience it.”
― Neil Strauss

“Without commitment, you cannot have depth in anything, whether it's a relationship, a business or a hobby.”
― Neil Strauss, The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists

“If there was anything I'd learned, it's that the man never chooses the woman. All he can do is give her an opportunity to choose him.”
― Neil Strauss, The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists

“Unspoken expectations are premeditated resentments.”
― Neil Strauss, The Truth: An Uncomfortable Book About Relationships

“Men are not dogs. We merely think we are and, on occasion, act as if we are. But, by believing in our nobler nature, women have the amazing power to inspire us to live up to it.”
― Neil Strauss, The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists

“After all, everyone's favorite subject is themselves.”
― Neil Strauss, The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists

“The strong live off the weak and the clever live off the strong.”
― Neil Strauss, The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists

“Most people seem to believe that if a relationship doesn't last until death, it's a failure. But the only relationship that's truly a failure is one that lasts longe than it should. The success of a relationship should be measured by it's depth, not by it's lenght.”
― Neil Strauss, The Truth: An Uncomfortable Book About Relationships

“One of the things I'd learned ... was how to take a compliment. Just say, "Thank you." It's the only response a confident person can make.”
― Neil Strauss, The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists

“It’s not lying, it’s flirting.”
― Neil Strauss, The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists

“Lying is about controlling someone else’s reality, hoping that what they don’t know won’t hurt you.”
― Neil Strauss, The Truth: An Uncomfortable Book about Relationships

“A healthy relationship is when two individuated adults decide to have a relationship and that becomes a third entity. They nurture the relationship and the relationship nurtures them. But they’re not overly dependent or independent: They are interdependent, which means that they take care of the majority of their needs and wants on their own, but when they can’t, they’re not afraid to ask their partner for help.” She pauses to let it all sink in, then concludes, “Only when our love for someone exceeds our need for them do we have a shot at a genuine relationship together.”
― Neil Strauss, The Truth: An Uncomfortable Book about Relationships

“there are only so many ways to get rejected or ignored. It doesn't hurt at all anymore because why should someone who's a complete stranger have any control over your sense of selfworth?”
― Neil Strauss, The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists

“We're just fragile machines programmed with a false sense of our own importance. And every now and then the universe sends a reminder that we don't really matter to it...”
― Neil Strauss, Emergency: This Book Will Save Your Life

“I've never trusted collaborations, because most people in this world are not closers. They don't finish what they start; they don't live what they dream; they sabotage their own progress because they're afraid they won't find what they seek.”
― Neil Strauss, The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists

“There are certain bad habits we've groomed our whole life -- from personality flaws to fashion faux pas. And it has been the role of parents and friends, outside of some minor tweaking, to reinforce the belief that we're okay just as we are. But it's not enough to just be yourself. You have to be your best self. And that's a tall order if you haven't found your best self yet.”
― Neil Strauss, The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists

“In the dance of infatuation, we see others not as they are, but as projections of who we want them to be. And we impose on them all the imaginary criteria we think will fill the void in our hearts.”
― Neil Strauss, The Truth: An Uncomfortable Book About Relationships

“The sins of the parents are the destinies of their children. Unless the children wake up and do something about it.”
― Neil Strauss, The Truth: An Uncomfortable Book about Relationships

“Because, all too often, the things that we're the most resistant to are precisely what we need. And the things we're most scared to let go of are exactly the ones we most need to relinquish.”
― Neil Strauss, The Truth: An Uncomfortable Book About Relationships

“Love is when two (or more) hearts build a safe emotional, mental, and spiritual home that will stand strong no matter how much anyone changes on the inside or the outside. It demands only one things and expects only one thing: that each person be his or her own true self.”
― Neil Strauss, The Truth: An Uncomfortable Book About Relationships

“Intimacy is sharing your reality with someone else and knowing you’re safe, and them being able to share their reality with you and also be safe.”
― Neil Strauss, The Truth: An Uncomfortable Book About Relationships

“In fact, every woman I met seemed disposable and replaceable. I was experiencing seducer's paradox: The better a seducer I became, the less I loved women. Success was no longer defined by getting laid or finding a girlfriend, but by how well I performed.”
― Neil Strauss, The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists

“Beauty is common but what’s rare is a great energy and outlook on life.”
― Neil Strauss, The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists

“To win the game was to leave it.”
― Neil Strauss, The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists

“They say that love is blind, but it’s trauma that’s blind. Love sees what is.”
― Neil Strauss, The Truth: An Uncomfortable Book about Relationships

“One of the reasons I became a writer is that, unlike starting a band, directing movies, or acting in a theatrical production, you can do it alone. Your success and failure depend entirely on yourself.”
― Neil Strauss, The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists

“used to think that intelligence came from books and knowledge and rational thought. But that’s not intelligence: It’s just information and interpretation. Real intelligence is when your mind and your heart connect. That’s when you see the truth so clearly and unmistakably that you don’t have to think about it. In fact, all thinking will do is lead you away from the truth and soon you’ll be back in your head, groping with a penlight in the dark again.”
― Neil Strauss, The Truth: An Uncomfortable Book about Relationships

“Then again, no matter what your point of view may be, you can always find someone with a Ph.D to support it.”
― Neil Strauss, The Truth: An Uncomfortable Book about Relationships