Jeff Smith > Quotes

“Stupid, Stupid Rat Creatures!”
― Jeff Smith, Bone, Vol. 2: The Great Cow Race

“CONTROL MYSELF?!! I'm a MONSTER! Monsters don't control themselves! That's the whole IDEA!”
― Jeff Smith, Bone, Vol. 5: Rock Jaw Master of the Eastern Border

“Upon your feet you have ten toes, they look just like PO-TA-TOES!”
― Jeff Smith, Bone, Vol. 2: The Great Cow Race

“Smiley Bone: You can't feel safe unless there's something to be safe against!

Phoney Bone: Exactly! People like to be victims! There's a certain unassailable moral superiority about it...”
― Jeff Smith, Bone, Vol. 4: The Dragonslayer

“That's right, kid. Never play an ace if a two will do.”
― Jeff Smith, Bone, Vol. 1: Out from Boneville

“Please, comrade! I just want to chop him up for the stew!'
'And that's another thing! I'm tired of stew! I want to put him in a crust and bake a light fluffy quiche!'
'QUICHE?! What kind of food is THAT for a monster to eat?!”
― Jeff Smith, Bone, Vol. 1: Out from Boneville

“I'm hungry.'
'Me too.'
'Will you get us something to eat?'
'I suppose I could take a look around. Maybe find a baby bird or a dead squirrel, or something. One word about a quiche, and I'll kill you.'
'While you're up there, try to find some nice, soft grasses we can sit on and be more comfortable.'
'Yes, comrade.
...
Here. I found some eggs to suck on.'
'Did you remember to get the grasses?'
'No. I forgot.'
'Are you going to get the grasses?'
'Can I eat first?'
'I don't know why you say you'll do things if you don't mean it.'
'I MEANT it! I just FORGOT!'
'You can get the grasses after you finish eating.'
'Thank you.'
'And try to find some water. We're going to need water if we plan on hiding out here.'
'YES COMRADE! ANYTHING ELSE?'

...

'Y'know, we could've had these eggs in a quiche!”
― Jeff Smith, Bone, Vol. 2: The Great Cow Race

“If we keep him for ourselves, we can do anything we want with him!'
'OH, REALLY?! Does that include baking him in a quiche?!'
'NO, IT DOES NOT INCLUDE THAT! IT INCLUDES EATING HIM RAW!'
'That's too bad. He would've made a fine pastry filling.”
― Jeff Smith, Bone, Vol. 2: The Great Cow Race

“Our bellies are empty and our patience is short...submit to us and we will make of you a great quiche!'
'Again with the QUICHE?! What kind of self-respecting monster would eat a DAINTY PASTRY DISH?! STEW is what we will make of their bones!'
'Don't get greedy on me! There's three of them! I just want the little one for my quiche!'
'It was nothing to do with greed! It's a matter of principle! MONSTERS DO NOT EAT QUICHE!”
― Jeff Smith, Bone, Vol. 4: The Dragonslayer

“Fone Bone: HOLD IT! Thorn thinks Gran'ma Ben can help us get back to Boneville!
Phoney Bone: IT'S NOT WORTH IT! LET GO OF ME!
Fone Bone: Would you wait a minute?!! We can explain everything!
Phoney Bone: HELP! HELP! They've destroyed my cousin's brain!! OH MY GOSH! THey've already milked you haven't they?!!”
― Jeff Smith, Bone, Vol. 1: Out from Boneville

“Phoney: Here's your problem Fone Bone! We're off the map! Get a bigger map!”
― Jeff Smith

“I'm so hungry, comrade! It has been days since we ate those two raccoons!'
'I know comrade. I'm even beginning to wish we had some of your homemade quiche!'
'Oh comrade! Do you mean it?'
'Hey--Hey! None of that! If you ever tell anyone I said that, I'll deny it!”
― Jeff Smith, Bone, Vol. 5: Rock Jaw Master of the Eastern Border

“Here you go, fellas. Piping hot...right out of the oven!'
'Is--Is that what I think it is?'
'It's your favourite! Custard pie with cheese and bacon!'
'QUICHE!'
'No, comrade!! Be strong! Monsters don't eat flakey bakery products! Get a hold of yourself!'
'But comrade, I'm STARVING! Our army has no food! We haven't eaten since the ghost circles appeared!'
'Oh well! We certainly have a lot of food Here, don't we, Teach? A Lot of Food...'
'Oh yes, A lot of food!'
'OK! I GIVE UP! YES! YES!! GIVE US THE QUICHE!! WE'RE STARVING--”
― Jeff Smith, Bone, Vol. 9: Crown of Horns

“Oops! We thought he had a gun!’ So you shot me in the back three times ’cause you thought I had a gun? I was gonna sue, but they said they was gonna kill me. I was 18 years old, I didn’t have nobody, I didn’t have all this. They kept pickin’ me up, kept lockin’ my ass up, beating me, until I dropped the lawsuit. When I dropped the lawsuit, that’s when everything stopped. That’s what the fuck happened to me. I was terrorized by some terrorists.”
― Jeff Smith, Ferguson in Black and White

“In the evolution of a town, neighborhood, or community, there comes a point when the decisions of the past, the conditions of the present, and the prospects for the future collide.”
― Jeff Smith, Ferguson in Black and White

“I think his discovery scared even him. Sometimes Frankenstein has to kill his own monster.”
― Jeff Smith, RASL

“Fear is the number one reason why people never live up to their potential.”
― Jeff Smith

“Tesla understood the universe, he just didn't understand the world.”
― Jeff Smith, RASL

“Cookies is good”
― Jeff Smith, Bone, Vol. 1: Out from Boneville

“- The earth hums?
- Of course it does. What a stupid question! Don't you hear it?”
― Jeff Smith, Bone, Vol. 5: Rock Jaw Master of the Eastern Border

“That's right, kid. Never play an ace when a two will do.”
― Jeff Smith

“Don't go tickling other guys when they have pink eye.”
― Jeff Smith

“Can you milk 'em? If you can't milk 'em, they're pets!”
― Jeff Smith, Bone #3