Meg Gardiner > Quotes

“Was it hard to watch people go?
No. Breathing afterward, every day, was harder.”
― Meg Gardiner, The Dirty Secrets Club

“Running cured almost anything. It eased pain; it exhilarated; it served as penance and validation. It turned lone wolf into a compliment. Running was objective – the stop-watch never lied. Races judged competitors on how long and hard they could run fast, not on a coach’s decision to play favorites with the starting lineup. Running was pure.”
― Meg Gardiner, Ransom River

“I've been an investigator longer than you've been playing Vulcan Mind Meld with dead people - Tang”
― Meg Gardiner, The Dirty Secrets Club

“But fate was a myth constructed by fools—people who gamble or follow horoscopes, who believe the stars rule their lives.”
― Meg Gardiner, UNSUB

“Fight or flight. when you have to jump, do it.”
― Meg Gardiner

“The thing was, Zero liked breaking things. He saw no reason why the world should be allowed to stay hole.”
― Meg Gardiner, Phantom Instinct

“But Keyes had told her what he thought of PhDs who demanded to be addressed as Doctor: they were hopeless narcissists”
― Meg Gardiner, The Dark Corners of the Night

“Intimidation was a drug. But control was an illusion.”
― Meg Gardiner, Into the Black Nowhere

“The hills of southern Oklahoma slow-rolled across the winter-gold prairie, dipping to rivers and creeks, thick with leafless trees. The road curved through farmland and past a Chickasaw resort and casino.”
― Meg Gardiner, Into the Black Nowhere

“God save us from people who think they know what’s best for us.”
― Meg Gardiner, Into the Black Nowhere

“They pulled off a twisting country road and bumped along a rutted gravel driveway. Rocky promontories barred their view until they topped a rise and found a half-are property where the cabin faced south, toward the red clay river that lazed across the horizon.”
― Meg Gardiner, Into the Black Nowhere

“The chill of the rain disappeared. The rain itself seemed to evaporate. The fatigue vanished. The night. Everything distilled to the brilliant pulsing bead of glass pain she herself had given rise to. She felt exhilaration and relief. She felt soothed and punished. She felt control.”
― Meg Gardiner, The Dark Corners of the Night

“A shiver climbed Caitlin’s arms. She hated having a doorway behind her. Even though the team had cleared the hall, a door always felt like a hungry mouth at her back. And the window opened to darkness. To anyone outside, she and Marston were brightly lit targets.”
― Meg Gardiner, UNSUB

“Signature, clearly. Elaborate and specific.” Caitlin said, “Staged by a man who looks like Mr. Ordinary. Somebody who keeps the monster in a mental cage.” “And when he unlocks it, he kills,” Emmerich said. “Viciously. He’s a grandiose narcissist. His rage and sense of entitlement drive him to destroy the happiness of others.” Caitlin stuck her hands in her back pockets. “He’s got to have burning memories of rejection that stoke him. Convince him his actions are justified. Women hurt him, so he hurts women.”
― Meg Gardiner, Into the Black Nowhere

“She thought of the FBI Crime Classification Manual: Mercy/ Hero Homicide. Mercy killers murdered in the genuine belief that they were relieving their victims’ suffering. Hero killers recklessly committed homicide by inducing a crisis so they could save the day. They were firefighters who set a blaze, then arrived to fight it. They were nurses who caused patients to code, so they could revive them. They reveled in the rush and the praise that came from bringing people back from the brink. When they botched it, their victims died.”
― Meg Gardiner, Into the Black Nowhere

“Loving one minute, icy the next. She was what shrinks called impulsive borderline. Landry had looked it up. Capricious, seductive, a risk-seeker. A stranger to empathy, terrified of abandonment, full of dark energy that could suddenly flare—an emotional IED.”
― Meg Gardiner, Shadowheart

“Crying Call nestled in a river gorge, with raw peas on either side. The red stone, the dark green of the pines, the white glaze of snow, and the arching, varnished sky spread around her. She stopped at the overlook and inhaled it al. Her heart was pounding, but with life. A hawk swooped past, screeching.”
― Meg Gardiner, Into the Black Nowhere

“She didn't want to wait. Didn't want caution, or care, or tender exploration. She needed touch, sensation, raw blank sex to overwhelm her circuits. She held on to him, and they were all arms and elbows and grasping hands...She didn't want to talk-to talk would be to break the spell, the new thing that was happening, herself coming back into the world, with another damaged person as her guide.”
― Meg Gardiner, Phantom Instinct

“Pero el destino fue un mito construido por tontos: personas que juegan o siguen horóscopos, que creen que las estrellas gobiernan sus vidas".”
― Meg Gardiner, UNSUB

“Grief wasn't a feeling. It was a thing that visited. It was a weight, a lead wall, and it pressed on her lungs and settled a shadow across her mind, until the only way she could inhale was through a gasp of anger.”
― Meg Gardiner, Phantom Instinct

“The Christmas tree was a dark pyramid in the living room corner. Presents hid beneath it, wrapping paper quicksilver in the moonlight. He absorbed the stillness. An electric hiss seemed to saturate the air.”
― Meg Gardiner, The Dark Corners of the Night

“She felt a pang, a deep wish for the bay, the soaring towers of the bridge, the sunlight skipping across ten thousand whitecaps between the Golden Gate and Alcatraz. She wanted the scent of the Pacific and the beauty of the cities and the mountains, and her man. She closed her eyes.
She opened them and felt small, surrounded by the sweep of the continent. The sky was vast. It was glorious and terrifying.”
― Meg Gardiner, Into the Black Nowhere

“Are you stalking me?” Caitlin said. “I can drive by the station anytime I want. Especially since you’ve lost your mind.” “Great to see you too, Mom.” “Don’t do this. It destroyed your father.” Caitlin spread her hands. “That’s always your reason for stopping me. ‘Don’t run with scissors; it destroyed your father.’ ‘Don’t feed the squirrels; it destroyed your father.’” She patted her mother’s shoulder. “I’m not Dad.”
― Meg Gardiner, UNSUB

“Life was a dark river. It sparkled with sunlight but was turbulent beneath, rife with eddies and rips and sharp rocks.”
― Meg Gardiner, Shadowheart

“Did you join the Bureau to get as far from that case as possible?' Rainey said.
'I took this job to make a difference.'
'Honey.' The tries rang on the concrete. 'Course you did. We all did. You can say you love it. You're scared of it. You're proud. You're a badass bitch. Girl Scout with a twelve gauge. Reading psychopaths' minds is your superpower.' She cut a glance Caitlin's way. 'you can dig it.”
― Meg Gardiner, Into the Black Nowhere

“Cognitive behavioral therapy had been great—it had quelled any urge to cut herself. For too long, she had ignored the ways the stress of her job might lead her to self-harm. A nightmarish case in Los Angeles had taken her over that edge. In the aftermath, she sought a referral to a stress psychologist. Dr. Silverberg worked with cops and federal agents, military and first responders. Caitlin wasn’t afraid of therapy—she’d had plenty in high school, when cutting seemed badass, seemed goth, when she convinced herself that inflicting pain meant she controlled her fear and despair. Once she sat down in Dr. Silverberg’s office, Caitlin discovered that she was ready to shed some destructive tendencies. It helped that Miriam Silverberg was practical and matter-of-fact. And that cognitive behavioral therapy worked by getting her to recognize negative beliefs about herself, see how they sabotaged her, and jettison them.”
― Meg Gardiner, Shadowheart

“IK.” When they didn’t respond, she expanded. “On my profile? IK. Impact kink.” She looked at them like they were naive. “Slapping, scratching, biting, hitting with a crop. Tamakeri if the guy asks. You know—the Japanese fetish? For getting kicked in the balls?”
― Meg Gardiner, UNSUB

“Coming, baby,' Shana murmured.
She tossed back the covers, brushed her sleep-tangled hair from her face, and slogged out of the bedroom. The hardwood floor creaked beneath her bare feet. Jaydee's cries grew clearer.”
― Meg Gardiner, Into the Black Nowhere

“If you spot anything out of the ordinary, something that seems wrong, I urge you to contact the sheriff’s department. Anything that could relate to the missing victims. Discarded items of clothing. Shoes, purses . . .” Brittany took a step back and snapped her fingers. “Shiner. Drop it.” The dog let the cloth fall to the porch. Brittany swallowed and clutched Tanner tight. “Shiner. Inside.” The dog ran into the kitchen. Brittany followed, bolted the door, and found her phone. In the background, the FBI agent’s voice cut the air. With shaky fingers, Brittany called 911. “I need the police. My dog just brought home half a shirt. And it’s covered in blood.”
― Meg Gardiner, Into the Black Nowhere

“I’m fine.” She smiled. “Seriously, I’m good.” The anxiety on Sandy’s face was plain to see. “I told you. I found a therapist. I’m learning healthy ways to handle stress.” “That sounds like a nice slogan.”
― Meg Gardiner, Shadowheart