Richard Osman > Quotes

“In life you have to learn to count the good days. You have to tuck them in your pocket and carry them around with you. So I’m putting today in my pocket and I’m off to bed.”
― Richard Osman, The Thursday Murder Club

“After a certain age, you can pretty much do whatever takes your fancy. No one tells you off, except for your doctors and your children.”
― Richard Osman, The Thursday Murder Club

“You can have too much choice in this world. And when everyone has too much choice, it is also much harder to get chosen. And we all want to be chosen.”
― Richard Osman, The Thursday Murder Club

“You always know when it’s your first time, don’t you? But you rarely know when it’s your final time.”
― Richard Osman, The Thursday Murder Club

“It was a well-known fact that there were no calories in homemade cakes.”
― Richard Osman, The Thursday Murder Club

“People without a sense of humor will never forgive you for being funny.”
― Richard Osman, The Thursday Murder Club

“More women are murdering people these days,” says Joyce. “If you ignore the context, it is a real sign of progress.”
― Richard Osman, The Man Who Died Twice

“It’s great to be the fastest runner, but not when you’re running in the wrong direction.”
― Richard Osman, The Thursday Murder Club

“Many years ago, everybody here would wake early because there was much to do and only so many hours in the day. Now they wake early because there is much to do and only so many days left.”
― Richard Osman, The Thursday Murder Club

“And if one is never lost in life, then clearly one has never traveled anywhere interesting.”
― Richard Osman, The Man Who Died Twice

“...There are silly, proper tears now. I'll let them fall. If you don't cry sometimes, you'll end up crying all the time.”
― Richard Osman, The Thursday Murder Club

“If you fail to prepare, you prepare to fail.”
― Richard Osman, The Thursday Murder Club

“We all have a sob story, but we don't all go around killing people.”
― Richard Osman, The Thursday Murder Club

“But, however much life teaches you that nothing lasts, it is still a shock when it disappears. When the man you love with every fibre starts returning to the stars, an atom at a time.”
― Richard Osman, The Last Devil to Die

“Some people love their children more than they love their partner,’ says Ibrahim, ‘and some people love their partner more than their children. And no one can ever admit to either thing.”
― Richard Osman, The Thursday Murder Club

“If murder were easy, none of us would survive Christmas.”
― Richard Osman, The Bullet That Missed

“Everyone wants to feel special, but nobody wants to feel different,”
― Richard Osman, The Bullet That Missed

“Donna has always been headstrong, always acted quickly and decisively. Which is a fine quality when you are right, but a liability when you are wrong. It’s great to be the fastest runner, but not when you’re running in the wrong direction.”
― Richard Osman, The Thursday Murder Club

“Why diet at eighty-two?” says Joyce. “What’s a sausage roll going to do to you? Kill you? Well, join the queue.”
― Richard Osman, The Man Who Died Twice

“He’s all the things that can go wrong with men if you leave them to their own devices.”
― Richard Osman, The Thursday Murder Club

“Well, imagine if we only ever did what we were supposed to,”
― Richard Osman, The Thursday Murder Club

“We think time travels forward, marches on in a straight line, and so we alongside it to keep up. Hurry, hurry, mustn't fall behind. But it doesn't, you see. Time just swirls around us. Every thing is always present. The things we've done, the people we've loved, the people we've hurt, they're all still here?”
― Richard Osman, The Last Devil to Die

“So what do I do now?” “You climb the next mountain, of course.” “Oh, yeah, of course,” says Donna. Simple. “And what’s up the next mountain?” “Well, we don’t know, do we? It’s your mountain. No one’s ever climbed it before.” “And what if I don’t want to? What if I just want to go home and cry every night and pretend to everyone that everything’s okay?” “Then do that. Keep being scared, keep being lonely. And spend the next twenty years coming to see me, and I will keep telling you the same thing. Put your boots on and climb the next mountain. See what’s up there. Friends, promotions, babies. It’s your mountain.” “Will there be other mountains after that one?” “There will.”
― Richard Osman, The Man Who Died Twice

“Everyone who dies is alive. We call people "dead" because we need a word for it, but "dead" just means that time has stopped moving forward for that person? You understand? No one dies, not really.”
― Richard Osman, The Last Devil to Die

“Some people in life, Sue, are weather forecasters, whereas other people are the weather itself.”
― Richard Osman, The Man Who Died Twice

“People love to sleep, and yet they are so frightened of death.”
― Richard Osman, The Man Who Died Twice

“Always look where the action isn't, because that's where the action is.”
― Richard Osman, The Thursday Murder Club

“The sun is up, the skies are blue, and murder is in the air”
― Richard Osman, The Thursday Murder Club

“It was a community, and in Ibrahim's opinion that was how human beings were designed to live. At Coopers Chase, anytime you wanted to be alone, you would simply close your front door, and anytime you wanted to be with people, you would open it up again. If there was a better recipe for happiness than that, then Ibrahim was yet to hear it.”
― Richard Osman, The Thursday Murder Club

“Don’t get a small dog though, Joyce,’ says Ron. ‘Small dogs are like small men: always got a point to prove. Yapping it up, barking at cars.”
― Richard Osman, The Man Who Died Twice