Art Buchwald > Quotes

“Whether it is the best of times or the worst of times, it is the only time we have. ”
― Art Buchwald

“The best things in life aren't things.”
― Art Buchwald

“We seem to be going through a period of nostalgia, and everyone seems to think yesterday was better than today. I don't think it was, and I would advise you not to wait ten years before admitting today was great. If you're hung up on nostalgia, pretend today is yesterday and just go out and have one hell of a time.”
― Art Buchwald

“And Man created the plastic bag and the tin and aluminum can and the cellophane wrapper and the paper plate, and this was good because Man could then take his automobile and buy all his food in one place and He could save that which was good to eat in the refrigerator and throw away that which had no further use. And soon the earth was covered with plastic bags and aluminum cans and paper plates and disposable bottles and there was nowhere to sit down or walk, and Man shook his head and cried: "Look at this Godawful mess.”
― Art Buchwald

“I have no idea where I'm going but here's the real question: What am I doing here in the first place?”
― Art Buchwald

“Dinner is not what you do in the evening before something else. Dinner is the evening.”
― Art Buchwald

“Whether it is the best of times or the worst of times, it is the only time we've got.”
― Art Buchwald

“the best things in life aren't things”
― Art Buchwald

“Writers are funny about reviews: when they get a good one they ignore it-- but when they get a bad review they never forget it. Every writer I know is the same way: you get a hundred good reviews, and one bad, andyou remember only the bad. For years, you go on and fantasize about the reviewer who didn't like your book; you imagine him as a jerk, a wife-beater, a real ogre. And, in the meantime, the reviewer has forgotten all about the whole thing. But, twenty years later, the writer still remembers that one bad review.”
― Art Buchwald

“Dying is easy; parking is impossible.”
― Art Buchwald, Too Soon to Say Goodbye

“Americans are just beginning to regard food the way the French always have. Dinner is not what you do in the evening before something else. Dinner is the evening.”
― Art Buchwald

“But a funny thing happens to you in a depression. If you don't hurt yourself, you can gain tremendous insights and empathy, find inner strengths and hidden talents. It's a mysterious process, but if you can hold on, you become a wiser person.”
― Art Buchwald, Leaving Home

“Hunting Down the Secular Humanists" "...What makes them so dangerous is that Secular Humanists look just like you and me. Some of them could be your best friends without you knowing that they are Humanists. They could come into your house, play with your children, eat your food and even watch football with you on television, and you'd never know they have read Catcher in the Rye, Brave New World, and Huckleberry Finn....
No one is safe until Congress sets up an Anti-Secular Humanism Committee to get at the rot. Witnesses have to be called, and they have to name names.”
― Art Buchwald

“The irony of our culture is that people are constantly telling other people to go to hell, but no one tells them to go to heaven.”
― Art Buchwald, Too Soon to Say Goodbye

“This does not mean that when I had a syndicated column and became well known, he wasn't proud of what had been accomplished. He was simply unable to tell me. He told my sisters and he told his customers and he didn't hesitate to let on that we were related. But a wall from childhood separated us and he never could say "Well done."

Someone once told me that it was not unusual in a father-son relationship for the father to find it impossible to praise his son. I responded angrily, 'I don't care if it's usual or unusual, he could have said *something*.”
― Art Buchwald, Leaving Home

“Then the question is, are we worried about the wishes of the patient or about the money involved?”
― Art Buchwald, Too Soon to Say Goodbye

“I’ve found it’s harder for the family of the patient to accept what’s happening. In most cases—not all—the dying person has accepted his fate.”
― Art Buchwald, Too Soon to Say Goodbye

“If a child is lucky, there will always be one Mrs. Egorkin who'll play a pivotal role in his or her life.”
― Art Buchwald, Leaving Home

“I consider dying a very important part of life. I feel good in the sense that since these people are in pain, and most of them don’t have very long to live, I can make their journey easier.”
― Art Buchwald, Too Soon to Say Goodbye

“During my sessions with Dr. Morse, I concluded that somebody had been messing with my head during those early years and they left footprints on my brain. I have spent almost as much time on Seventh-Day Adventists in my analysis as I have on my mother. I am willing to bet that this place was responsible for many of my hang-ups.”
― Art Buchwald, Leaving Home

“The first hospice was founded in England in 1967 by physician Dame Cicely Saunders.”
― Art Buchwald, Too Soon to Say Goodbye

“No one has ever questioned the credentials of a critic who writes a rave notice.”
― Art Buchwald, Leaving Home