Christopher Shevlin > Quotes

“Both still stood in the same positions, ready to deal with a conversation, should one break out.”
― Christopher Shevlin, The Perpetual Astonishment of Jonathon Fairfax

“Well, I've got tomorrow morning off, so I thought I might spend that thinking about her. Basically, my plan is to maybe just romantically obsess over her but not really do anything about it.”
― Christopher Shevlin, The Perpetual Astonishment of Jonathon Fairfax

“He was one of those people who have mastered looking tiredly cheerful, which is the secret of creating rapport. Plover’s ability to do this was increased by his face: he looked like Walter Matthau wearing a latex Walter Matthau mask.”
― Christopher Shevlin, The Perpetual Astonishment of Jonathon Fairfax

“Home’s all right for a visit, but I wouldn’t want to live there.”
― Christopher Shevlin, The Perpetual Astonishment of Jonathon Fairfax

“You’re very handsome,’ was what she confined herself to. ‘I’m just lucky that you have a weird eye defect that prevents you from seeing my face properly.’ ‘I’m lucky that you have a weird face defect that makes you handsome.”
― Christopher Shevlin, The Fairfax Redemption: A Jonathon Fairfax Novel

“I found by trial and error that saying you don’t like football means that you’re gay and want to be punched in the stomach. The”
― Christopher Shevlin, The Perpetual Astonishment of Jonathon Fairfax

“This was one of those things that made social contact so difficult for Jonathon. He knew he had to react to the news – which he didn’t at all mind – as though he didn’t at all mind. Unfortunately, everything anyone said to him was processed through his brain, which also checked and sifted his replies before he could use them. Now that he had thought about it, his reaction couldn’t be spontaneous, which meant that he would have to pretend to feel the way he actually did feel.”
― Christopher Shevlin, The Perpetual Astonishment of Jonathon Fairfax

“And assigning new officers is like putting good fruit on a compost heap and hoping that the freshness will spread.”
― Christopher Shevlin, The Perpetual Astonishment of Jonathon Fairfax

“Compliments from parents simultaneously don’t count and matter a great deal.”
― Christopher Shevlin, Jonathon Fairfax Must Be Destroyed

“Jonathon realised he had got it badly wrong in every possible way: volume, tone and intonation. His was not the kind of ‘hey’ that fits easily in the sentence, ‘Hey Chandler, let’s go grab a coffee.’ It was more the sort of ‘hey’ that Ian Paisley might have shouted if he’d noticed the pope hanging around at the bottom of his garden.”
― Christopher Shevlin, Jonathon Fairfax Must Be Destroyed

“She asked him what a pen was and got him to raise his arms, which by now felt like a standard greeting. It almost felt rude not to also ask her what a pen was and if she could raise her arms.”
― Christopher Shevlin, The Spy Who Came in from the Bin

“He had never tried heroin, but he doubted that it beat a really good bit of reverse parking.”
― Christopher Shevlin, The Perpetual Astonishment of Jonathon Fairfax

“He couldn't honestly tell himself he'd had a good innings. In fact, he was still waiting to bat, having spent most of his life as an out-fielder.”
― Christopher Shevlin

“He wondered whether anyone had ever given him advice about what to do when introduced to your life partner again for the first time since suffering total amnesia. It was a tricky social situation, and his two days’ experience of the world had prepared him only to hold his hands parallel to the floor and tell Germans what a pen was.”
― Christopher Shevlin, The Spy Who Came in from the Bin

“They were both really keen on a divorce, but it wasn’t until afterwards that they found how happy they had been, repressing their um … mutual hatred. Both of them agree that the divorce was a bad move, but they can’t get married again because it seems stupid to marry someone you don’t like.”
― Christopher Shevlin, The Perpetual Astonishment of Jonathon Fairfax

“Who would have thought that just getting rid of commuting, worry, a horrible job and a relationship with someone totally unsuited to him could possibly have made such a difference?”
― Christopher Shevlin, Jonathon Fairfax Must Be Destroyed

“It was, perhaps, not the life he would have chosen, but it was the only one he knew, and he was becoming increasingly comfortable in it, especially now he was allowed to eat.”
― Christopher Shevlin, The Spy Who Came in from the Bin

“His wiry black hair and his stubble could, together, have been used as makeshift velcro, if you were marooned on a desert island with him and desperately needed to construct an easy-open fastener.”
― Christopher Shevlin, The Perpetual Astonishment of Jonathon Fairfax

“Sarah had always hoped that Purrdey loved her, but it’s difficult to tell with cats. The real test of their loyalty and affection is whether, left alone with your dead body, they refuse to eat you.”
― Christopher Shevlin, The Perpetual Astonishment of Jonathon Fairfax

“I’m completely unreasonable!’ Lance had called back. ‘And I have absolutely no consideration for other people!”
― Christopher Shevlin, The Fairfax Redemption: A Jonathon Fairfax Novel

“Where ignorance is bliss, ‘tis folly to be wise.”
― Christopher Shevlin, The Perpetual Astonishment of Jonathon Fairfax