Amy Metz > Quotes

“verb \swon\ to swear, derivative of swannee I swan, raising kids is like being pecked to death by a chicken”
― Amy Metz, Murder & Mayhem in Goose Pimple Junction

“a Coke and a ham sandwich, please.” “Anything on that? Wanna run it through the garden?” “Run it through the … ” Tess’s brow furrowed. “Yeah, you know. Lettuce, tomato, and onion. The works.” “Oh.” Tess shook her head. “Just mustard, please.” Willa Jean nodded and went toward the kitchen hollering, “Walking in! A Co’Cola and Noah’s boy on bread with Mississippi mud.”
― Amy Metz, Murder & Mayhem in Goose Pimple Junction

“I’m surprised he can sit. His pants are so tight, if he farted, he’d blow his boots off.”
― Amy Metz, Murder & Mayhem in Goose Pimple Junction

“Howdied But We Ain’t Shook Yet”
― Amy Metz, Murder & Mayhem in Goose Pimple Junction

“Mama always said . . . If it’s got tires or testicles, you’re going to have trouble with it.”
― Amy Metz, Rogues & Rascals In Goose Pimple Junction

“on either side of her. He stood looking”
― Amy Metz, Murder & Mayhem in Goose Pimple Junction

“If I had a dog as ugly as you,” Clive jabbed his index finger at his friend, “I’d shave his butt and make him walk backward.”
― Amy Metz, Murder & Mayhem in Goose Pimple Junction

“You’re so slow, it would take you two hours to watch 60 minutes.”
― Amy Metz, Murder & Mayhem in Goose Pimple Junction