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“My name is Draco Malfoy. I'm here to turn myself in. I'm a hardened criminal and I'm sure Ronald Weasley would be only too happy to take my statement."

He presented his wand and the woman took it before handing him a badge that read: Draco Malfoy, Hardened Criminal

"If you'll wait over there, dear, I'll summon Mr. Weasley for you."

Draco shrugged, not much caring one way or another. He could keep breathing and cataloguing his regrets as easily in Azkaban as anywhere else.

Weasley seemed to waffle between being pleased as punch and calculatingly suspicious. "Why are you turning yourself in?"

"My close proximity to the Savior of the Wizarding World infected me with sunshine and happy thoughts. I found my inner Gryffindor and it told me to repent."

"Fuck you, Malfoy. Why are you really here?”
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