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“Why is pain the emotion we so easily make our home? It’s like we sign up for the thirty-year mortgage on pain, but only do short-term leases or annual time-shares on pleasure.”
― How to Marry Keanu Reeves in 90 Days
― How to Marry Keanu Reeves in 90 Days
“But shit, the meditation app I’d sworn I’d listen to every day had lasted less than a week. The pressure of daily relaxation was too stressful. Now all I had was a monthly bill because I kept forgetting to cancel the stupid subscription in the app store. Besides, if I did cancel, that would mean giving up on meditating and therefore admitting defeat.”
― How to Marry Keanu Reeves in 90 Days
― How to Marry Keanu Reeves in 90 Days
“Underneath what? The latest supermodel? Let Google tell it. He’s got a deli number-counter at the foot of his bed.”
― How to Marry Keanu Reeves in 90 Days
― How to Marry Keanu Reeves in 90 Days
“In. Long inhale. Out. Low snort. In. long inhale. Out. Low snort.
Oh God. If he keeps breathing like this, I may just pick up my pillow and smother him. I can almost hear myself in court testifying, “The breathing, your honor. He just wouldn’t stop. In. Out. In. Out. Over and over. Driving me crazy. I just had to end it.” Hell, even I know that defense won’t work. Not unless the judge is a woman who’s been married for over five years. Then maybe I’d probably have a shot.”
― Bounce
Oh God. If he keeps breathing like this, I may just pick up my pillow and smother him. I can almost hear myself in court testifying, “The breathing, your honor. He just wouldn’t stop. In. Out. In. Out. Over and over. Driving me crazy. I just had to end it.” Hell, even I know that defense won’t work. Not unless the judge is a woman who’s been married for over five years. Then maybe I’d probably have a shot.”
― Bounce
“Besides, there were two women in the front, and Vin was under the impression he was meeting a couple today.”
― To Me I Wed
― To Me I Wed




