Tracy Brogan > Quotes

“Apparently while I was reading
The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Dating, he’d read The Guide to Dating a Complete Idiot.”
― Tracy Brogan, Crazy Little Thing

“Being surrounded by the people you loved is what made life... well, life.”
― Tracy Brogan, Crazy Little Thing

“Panty Melter: an exceedingly rare species of man blessed with so many desirable attributes he effortlessly gains access into a girl's panties.”
― Tracy Brogan, Crazy Little Thing

“Jesters must tremble in fear at the magnificence of your humor.”
― Tracy Brogan, Highland Surrender

“Talking to the sperm-donor-formerly-known-as-my-husband was just the garlic frosting I needed on this total piece of shit day.”
― Tracy Brogan, Crazy Little Thing

“That’s called style, girlfriend. It’s what sets us apart from the animals. And the rednecks.”
― Tracy Brogan, Crazy Little Thing

“You’ll find the balance you need as soon as you let go of how you think things should be and accept them as they are.”
― Tracy Brogan, Crazy Little Thing

“I’m very proud of the young woman you’ve become. Your happiness is tantamount to mine, and so I send you off on this matrimonial journey with an Irish blessing: May the saddest day of your future be no worse than the happiest day of your past. May your hands be forever clasped in friendship, and your hearts joined forever in love. To the bride and groom.”
― Tracy Brogan, Hold On My Heart

“Never trust anything you hear from an old Irishman,” my grandmother Gigi always said, and she should know because she’d married and buried three of them.”
― Tracy Brogan, My Kind of Forever

“Hello?” I tried to sound skinny.”
― Tracy Brogan, Crazy Little Thing

“The conversation blended into a sort of anecdotal jambalaya, with bits of our history woven in with pop culture trivia.”
― Tracy Brogan, Crazy Little Thing

“You know how, when you get to the top of a mountain, you enjoy the view for about five minutes before you start looking around for the next summit? That’s where I’m at, Jake. I need a new challenge.”
― Tracy Brogan, Love Me Sweet

“There is no such thing as a perfect husband. Or a perfect wife. Or a perfect marriage. Sometimes love supersedes logic, and the best thing to do is just follow your heart.”
― Tracy Brogan, The Best Medicine

“Then he kissed me with days' worth of pent-up longing.”
― Tracy Brogan

“Without the despair of today we can’t experience the joy of tomorrow.”
― Tracy Brogan, Crazy Little Thing

“Hating him had not come upon me all at once. It was gradual, creeping over me slowly, insidiously, like frostbite, until eventually I was frozen solid.”
― Tracy Brogan, Crazy Little Thing

“May the saddest day of your future be no worse than the happiest day of your past. May your hands be forever clasped in friendship, and your hearts joined forever in love. To the bride and groom.”
― Tracy Brogan, Hold On My Heart

“You’re my knight in shining armor.” “Oh, if only slaying dragons were as easy as buying tampons.”
― Tracy Brogan, The Best Medicine

“Glasgow? Isn’t that in Sweden?” Dody was asking. He shook his head. “Scotland.” “Oh, yes, Scotland. Why, you must know Sean Connery then? He’s Scottish. Or is he German?” Des bit back a smile. “He is Scottish, but no, I never had the pleasure.” “Really? That’s surprising. Sweden is such a small country.” “Scotland.” “What? Oh, yes. Scotland. Why did you move from there, dear? Was it because of the potatoes?” She patted his hand sympathetically. “The potatoes?” “Potato famine was in Ireland, Mom,” Jasper said, banging the oven door shut. “In the 1840s,” I added, wanting to show off a little of my vast wealth of useless, esoteric facts.”
― Tracy Brogan, Crazy Little Thing

“He could fight two men at once on the battlefield and be certain of his victory. Defeating two women was another thing entirely.”
― Tracy Brogan, Highland Surrender

“What sorcery is this?” he snarled. “I lie down with a goddess and wake up to an old hag?”
― Tracy Brogan, Highland Surrender

“Ours was the kind of dinner conversation one might expect to find in an English-as-a-second-language course or in the babble of a Pentecostal church.”
― Tracy Brogan, Crazy Little Thing

“Sometimes you have to just jump without knowing where you’ll land.”
― Tracy Brogan, My Kind of Forever

“reality. Birthday wishes did not come true, any more than wishes made on puffy dandelions blown into the breeze or pennies tossed into a fountain. Wishes were nothing more than unrealized goals.”
― Tracy Brogan, The Best Medicine

“I’m Bill Smith, private investigator from Miami, Florida.”
“Private investigator?”
Shari glanced over at me.
“Yes, from Miami, Florida,” he said again, as if that were significant. “I’m looking for a man.”
“Oh, honey, aren’t we all?”
― Tracy Brogan, My Kind of Forever

“It was January, after all. In Michigan. Seriously, in all her life she’d never seen so much snow. No wonder the whole damn state was shaped like a mitten.”
― Tracy Brogan, Love Me Sweet

“If you don’t take a risk once in a while, you’ll never know what might have been.”
― Tracy Brogan, My Kind of Forever

“I’m sure Vera would be happy to help you with any research.”
He paused with his fork halfway to his mouth. “Vera, the librarian? I think I’d like to avoid her as much as possible, although that was some fascinating stuff she shared the other day about bats.”
I tried to recall which stuff she’d said about bats. I’d heard it all so many times, it was simply back-ground noise. “She has a long-standing and well-intentioned fixation on the island’s bat shortage, but sometimes she’s a little, um… tedious.”
“Oh, I don’t know about tedious,” he said casually. “Personally, I found all that stuff about how fruit bats perform fellatio to be quite educational.”
― Tracy Brogan, My Kind of Forever

“Love is a grave mental disease.” “Shakespeare?” Kyle shook his head. “Plato.”
― Tracy Brogan, Crazy Little Thing

“Look, sugar, you can’t control what people think or what they do. You can only control how you react to it. Bottom line is you need to decide who it is you’re living this life for. You or them?”
― Tracy Brogan, Love Me Sweet