Ilan Mochari > Quotes

“My biological father did not teach me much, but he was right to emphasize that what women call a “relationship” is in fact a male subjugation.”
― Ilan Mochari, Zinsky the Obscure

“It was clear to me that some ugly Ancient Greek must have invented both Hephaestus, the patron saint of the hideous, and Cupid, the demi-God whose arbitrary arrow-slings seemed as likely an explanation as any for the mystifying science by which females selected their gross objects of affection.”
― Ilan Mochari, Zinsky the Obscure

“How alive is someone whom you haven’t seen in 13 years? And how bereaved can you possibly be – or anticipate being – over someone you’ve never loved?”
― Ilan Mochari, Zinsky the Obscure

“Finally, I speculate that few mothers would deny two or three annual visits to a biological father and generous fiscal provider.”
― Ilan Mochari, Zinsky the Obscure

“For I know – I now have years of empirical proof – that women never burn for me. It hasn’t happened yet and I’m only getting uglier.”
― Ilan Mochari, Zinsky the Obscure

“There are stories like Superman, which require suspension of disbelief for maximum enjoyment. Then there are stories like mine – real stories – where for the most part, disbelief need not be suspended. There are no flying humans, no unfamiliar planets, and no optical illusions.”
― Ilan Mochari, Zinsky the Obscure

“The conversational protocol is to treat baldness like obesity or a fatal disease: you rarely broach it with the sufferer.”
― Ilan Mochari, Zinsky the Obscure

“I’d do a lot to have your brains.” “I’d do a lot if you wanted the rest of me,” I said.”
― Ilan Mochari, Zinsky the Obscure

“I’m always happy to propose the obvious,” she said.”
― Ilan Mochari, Zinsky the Obscure

“Some boys develop later than other boys,” she says. “You’re just a late bloomer. It could be worse. Imagine if you were short.”
― Ilan Mochari, Zinsky the Obscure