Jill P. Weber > Quotes

“You, your resilience, and your capacity for growth are actually much stronger than your anxious thoughts—”
― Jill P. Weber, Be Calm: Proven Techniques to Stop Anxiety Now

“When we’re caught up in anxious thinking, our thoughts feel entirely real and accurate and so they keep us keyed up. In truth, the anxious mind isn’t so good at differentiating the real from the unreal.”
― Jill P. Weber, Be Calm: Proven Techniques to Stop Anxiety Now

“Every couple of weeks, reflect on where you started. Remind yourself of what your life was like then and how that anxious life motivated you to adopt a program to improve. Freedom from anxiety is here for you. Open up to the ease and calm that is within your reach. You are worth the investment.”
― Jill P. Weber, Be Calm: Proven Techniques to Stop Anxiety Now

“The idea that we have to worry or remain hypervigilant so bad things won’t happen to us is an illusion. Bad things, including suffering and sorrow, are sadly part of life. It’s not your job to become certain of the uncertain. The only real control we have is to accept reasonable uncertainty so anxiety doesn’t rob us of joy, or of the pleasure of being fully present in this life now.”
― Jill P. Weber, Be Calm: Proven Techniques to Stop Anxiety Now

“No longer avoiding what you fear means paying attention to how you feel, not just at the moment you avoid, but over the longer term.”
― Jill P. Weber, Be Calm: Proven Techniques to Stop Anxiety Now

“When progress on the anxiety-reduction trail stalls, or even halts completely, it means you’ve likely progressed, more than you imagined, and that’s why the setback bothers you. Setbacks are part of your brain’s adjustment process. Keep persisting, don’t give up, and return to the strategies again and again. It will pay off.”
― Jill P. Weber, Be Calm: Proven Techniques to Stop Anxiety Now

“The more you view others’ mistreatment of you as something you have the ability to fix, tweak, or amend, the harder it is to develop a positive sense of yourself. Seeing yourself exclusively from the eyes of others disconnects you from the day-to-day, moment-to-moment experience of your life.”
― Jill P. Weber

“Identify what you can do now to start living the kind of life you truly desire. Any small step toward your values will improve your mood and anxiety. Get out your notebook and map out a plan to start taking committed action toward something you value. Here’s how: Identify value: Example: Psychological growth 2. Identify goal: Example: Increase self-esteem 3. Identify step to take to reach goal: Example short-term action: “Every day do one task that makes me feel competent—pay the bills, make a meal, exercise, volunteer, help a friend.” Example long-term action: “Ask boss about what’s needed for a promotion,” or “Sign up for a class.”
― Jill P. Weber, Be Calm: Proven Techniques to Stop Anxiety Now

“It’s not that they never feel anxious again, but they find methods to cope in healthy ways and stay present in their lives. Anxiety is treatable, perhaps more so than any other mental health problem, and people get better by consistently applying new ways of thinking and coping.”
― Jill P. Weber, Be Calm: Proven Techniques to Stop Anxiety Now

“Imagine a triangle with “Feelings” in one corner, “Behavior” in another, and “Thoughts” in the third. These represent the three main paths to change, which lead to relief from a wide range of anxiety symptoms. This book is divided into these three main sections, too.”
― Jill P. Weber, Be Calm: Proven Techniques to Stop Anxiety Now

“Exercise: Catch Anxiety Early Catch anxiety early, before it’s left the barn, so to speak, and you’ll stop it in its tracks before it becomes too intense to pull back. A way to start catching anxiety early is to develop a quick and easy habit of checking in with yourself. So instead of rushing from task to task, person to person—intentionally STOP. Take time to be mindful of your ongoing experience. Here’s how: • At the end of the day when you arrive home, STOP before entering. Reflect for a few moments; check in with yourself. • When you end one encounter, STOP. What’s going on in your body, your mind? What sensations do you notice? • When you finish a task, STOP. Reflect on what tinges or shifts might be happening mentally or physically for you. Literally say to yourself, “I want to see you. What’s going on in there?”
― Jill P. Weber, Be Calm: Proven Techniques to Stop Anxiety Now

“STRATEGY: SITTING WITH DIFFICULT EMOTIONS It is likely you have avoided negative emotions because you’re afraid of feeling them or you don’t know how to feel them. Here is a way to do just that, and it takes only 10 minutes: 1 . Set a timer for 10 minutes. Bring to your conscious awareness an emotion you tend to avoid or suppress. Try to conjure it up so you can feel it right now. 2. Observe where in your body you experience the upset or discomfort. Recognize how it feels. See if you can literally visualize the feeling as you experience it in your body. Instead of fighting the feeling, welcome it in. 3. Whisper out loud, “Welcome, I’m glad you’re here.” See if you can observe the feeling, almost as if you are looking down on a physical thing separate from yourself. 4. Internally note: “I notice a feeling of -------- coming over me.” Tell yourself, “I am making room for you,” or “I can feel this feeling and also be okay.”
― Jill P. Weber, Be Calm: Proven Techniques to Stop Anxiety Now

“Believing that reducing anxiety is in your control and hard work will pay off makes all the difference. You can do this!”
― Jill P. Weber, Be Calm: Proven Techniques to Stop Anxiety Now

“Setting a goal and sticking to it is akin to spotting and then reaching a buoy while treading water in the ocean. Each buoy leads to another and another and before you know it, you see the shore on the horizon. Putting the effort in and reaching for goals will almost instantaneously help you believe in yourself, increase your self-esteem, and make your anxiety seem less daunting.”
― Jill P. Weber, Be Calm: Proven Techniques to Stop Anxiety Now

“When we experience chronic anxiety, fight-or-flight is triggered so frequently that we are forever on guard for potential threats, and can never truly relax.”
― Jill P. Weber, Be Calm: Proven Techniques to Stop Anxiety Now

“The world is against me. Notice the little things: light traffic, good weather, a kind person helping you in some way. Catch the world when it’s being good to you.”
― Jill P. Weber, Be Calm: Proven Techniques to Stop Anxiety Now

“You’re not your thoughts. You’re the leader, the conductor, the captain—the one who oversees and observes—your thought stream.”
― Jill P. Weber, Be Calm: Proven Techniques to Stop Anxiety Now

“Remember, you’re apt to feel anxious wherever you are, so you might as well get some things accomplished while you’re anxious (and it might just help you to be less anxious later).”
― Jill P. Weber, Be Calm: Proven Techniques to Stop Anxiety Now

“Here are three quick and easy strategies for decreasing the physical agitation and arousal—shortness of breath, increased heart rate, sweating, shaking—that accompany panic and anxiety: Take slow, deep breaths, feeling your chest rising fully. Each time you exhale, make the exhalation a little longer than the one before. If you’re too keyed up to breathe freely, count your breaths. Counting helps distract your brain from anxious thoughts. Count 1 when you inhale, 2 when you exhale, and so forth up to 20. Then start again with 1. Repeat this a few times; the arousal will start to decrease. If breathing doesn’t work, place your hand on your heart. Notice the speed. See if you can slow it down with your breathing. Put all your attention into observing the beat . . . beat . . . beat . . . of your heart.”
― Jill P. Weber, Be Calm: Proven Techniques to Stop Anxiety Now

“neurons that fire together wire together.”
― Jill P. Weber

“Remind yourself that you want this, and you can and will do it.”
― Jill P. Weber, Be Calm: Proven Techniques to Stop Anxiety Now

“STRATEGY: MINDFUL MOVEMENT Use the simple act of mindful walking to ground yourself into the here and now and to let go of or decrease the intensity of obsessive thinking. You can do this anywhere and at any time—walking to your car, walking around the grocery store, walking around your neighborhood, or walking to work. While walking, focus less on your thinking self and more on your physical experience. For example, what does your foot feel like as you lift it and lower it to the ground? How do your arms feel as you move? Try to feel the earth from within your body. What is that sensation like? Does the sole of your foot on the ground feel heavy? Can you make it soft? Explore each of your senses. Notice what you feel on your skin; is the air hot or cool? Do you smell anything as you inhale and exhale? Simply observe any sounds you hear. Notice what you see. You are here in this moment; feel your presence and your alert state of mind. With each step, mindfully breathe in, and breathe out. Count your steps as you inhale and as you exhale. How many steps does it take as you inhale? How many as you exhale? Keep your attention on the steps and your breathing. Each time you become aware of your mind drifting, gently bring your attention back to observing what it feels like in your body to walk. There is no rush; all that matters in this moment is to be aware of your body as it glides through space.”
― Jill P. Weber, Be Calm: Proven Techniques to Stop Anxiety Now

“Assess what’s coming up by digitally or manually marking red, yellow, and green zones on your calendar. Red zones are those that are more anxiety fueled, green are those where you expect to be fairly at ease and feel less internal pressure, and yellow are in the middle, where you imagine you will feel neither very anxious nor very relaxed.”
― Jill P. Weber, Be Calm: Proven Techniques to Stop Anxiety Now

“You can and will find relief from anxiety, provided you learn to believe in yourself.”
― Jill P. Weber, Be Calm: Proven Techniques to Stop Anxiety Now

“List in your notebook what your fears are before entering a specific social situation, and next to each fear write out how you could respond and appropriately handle the situation should it occur.”
― Jill P. Weber, Be Calm: Proven Techniques to Stop Anxiety Now

“The past, in particular unprocessed grief and trauma, has a significant impact on the persistence of anxiety symptoms.”
― Jill P. Weber, Be Calm: Proven Techniques to Stop Anxiety Now

“Most little girls are born with an innate aptitude for reading emotional cues and for verbalizing their emotional reactions. This is a common sex difference that many parents notice early in their child’s development. Nonetheless, parents and other authority figures communicate to girls and adult women that noticing and expressing emotions is a weakness. In many ways, society holds male development as the model of normal and, in turn, treats what is different as inherently wrong. All sorts of judgmental terms are used to communicate to young girls, and later to adult women, that others do not welcome their negative emotional reactions.”
― Jill P. Weber, Having Sex, Wanting Intimacy: Why Women Settle for One-Sided Relationships

“You, your resilience, and your capacity for growth are actually much stronger than your anxious thoughts—although it probably doesn’t feel like that most of the time.”
― Jill P. Weber, Be Calm: Proven Techniques to Stop Anxiety Now

“When you experience an anxious-thought spiral, observe your physical sensations—tight chest, tense shoulders, racing heartbeat, whatever they are—and give them your full attention, breathing in and out. As you acknowledge it (“I see you” or “There you are”), it will likely change to a different sensation. Recognize these sensations are communicating how alive you are in this moment.”
― Jill P. Weber, Be Calm: Proven Techniques to Stop Anxiety Now

“rate your anxiety for the day, using a 1 to 10 scale, with 1 being entirely relaxed and 10 being full anxiety meltdown.”
― Jill P. Weber, Be Calm: Proven Techniques to Stop Anxiety Now