Whitney G. > Quotes

“Is there super-glue on my floor? Is that why you’re still standing there?”
― Whitney Gracia Williams, Reasonable Doubt: Volume 1

“Thank you for telling me that my dick is in your prayers. I'd prefer if it was in your mouth.”
― Whitney Gracia Williams, Reasonable Doubt: Volume 1

“some people come into your life for a reason, some a season, and some a lifetime.”
― Whitney Gracia Williams, Sincerely, Carter

“She gasped. “You would snitch on me?”
“I would run my car over you.”
― Whitney G., Reasonable Doubt: Volume 2

“The only tool your pussy needs is my tongue. It's here whenever you want it, and it works in a "VARIETY" of ways.”
― Whitney Gracia Williams, Reasonable Doubt: Volume 1

“Do you know that men like you—relationship avoiders, are the type that typically fall the hardest?” “Did they teach you that at Wal-Mart?”
― Whitney Gracia Williams, Reasonable Doubt: Volume 1

“I don't want to hear any bullshit about how 'forgiveness' helps you sleep better at night,' because that's not true. (My seven layer mattress is amazing.)”
― Whitney Gracia Williams, Mid-Life Love

“Karma is one hell of a bitch!”
― Whitney Gracia Williams, Reasonable Doubt: Volume 1

“Are you going to promote every man that flirts with me?"

"no. I'll fire whoever does it next.”
― Whitney Gracia Williams, Mid-Life Love

“Are your ellipses (...) implying something significant or do you just enjoy abusing grammar for no reason?”
― Whitney G., Turbulence

“And the Latin quote across your heart? What does it mean?” “Lie about one thing, lie about it all...”
― Whitney Gracia Williams, Reasonable Doubt: Volume 2

“You belong to me, Ari, and you always will…
You’re more than ‘just’ my best friend, and I never want to be ‘just friends’ again.”
― Whitney Gracia Williams, Sincerely, Carter

“Casual sex. Nothing more. Nothing Less." That line wasn't there for decoration, and it was in bold print for a reason.”
― Whitney Gracia Williams, Reasonable Doubt: Volume 1

“I think you’re sexy as fuck, and if you weren’t my best friend, and this wasn’t a dream, I’d totally fuck you right now…”
― Whitney Gracia Williams, Sincerely, Carter

“I’d overheard her several times on her lunch breaks, talking about how she wanted to be married before she turned twenty five. She also apparently wanted to be a stay-at-home mom with six kids, and live in a house in the suburbs. In other words, she was completely out of her fucking mind.”
― Whitney Gracia Williams, Reasonable Doubt: Volume 1

“I don’t want you accusing me of treating you like all my other dates.”
“Does that mean you won’t fuck me at the end?”
“It means I won’t leave you at the end.”
― Whitney Gracia Williams, Reasonable Doubt: Volume 3

“Just because someone from your past hurt you doesn’t mean that every woman after her will.”
― Whitney Gracia Williams, Reasonable Doubt: Volume 1

“I honestly think you’re the most insane and infuriating woman I’ve ever met. I knew from the moment you gave me a tour of my own goddamn apartment that you were a special brand of psycho.”
― Whitney G., Turbulence

“This is hardly love.”
“Then it’s hardly lust.”
“Then we’ll just call it us.”
― Whitney G., Turbulence

“I was planning to end this phase after a few weeks, but after one particular meeting, the lead advisor asked me not to come back. She said she'd noticed that every time I was asked to give a suggestion about an ex-husband to a grieving divorcee, I always said, "You should have him murdered.”
― Whitney Gracia Williams, Mid-Life Love

“How much longer do you think you'll be able to keep doing this?"
"Keep doing what?"
"Chatting someone up for a week, fucking her, and moving on the the next. How much longer?"
"Until my dick stops working.”
― Whitney Gracia Williams, Reasonable Doubt: Volume 1

“I'm going to miss you... so fucking much.”
― Whitney Gracia Williams, Sincerely, Carter

“Things are going to catch up to you one day, asshole!” She yells as I step into the hallway. “Karma is one hell of a bitch!” “I know.” I toss back. “I fucked her two weeks ago...”
― Whitney Gracia Williams, Reasonable Doubt: Volume 1

“I recently had sex with someone who might’ve ruined me for all others.”
― Whitney Gracia Williams, Sincerely, Carter

“For years, I'd never understood what it meant when people said they felt like laughing and crying at the same time, until now. (...) I was waking up every morning - reaching for her, rolling over in bed at night to pull her closer, but she was never there.”
― Whitney Gracia Williams, Sincerely, Carter

“Contrary to your unfounded and silly assumptions, I do not have a panty fetish and I do not sleep with them over my face at night. I do, however, have a new fetish for your pussy, and if you're interested in letting me sleep with that over my face at night, feel free to let me know.”
― Whitney Gracia Williams, Reasonable Doubt: Volume 2

“And can you please have the janitor check my floor for fucking superglue?” ~ Andrew Hamilton”
― Whitney Gracia Williams, Reasonable Doubt: Volume 1

“Do you...” I shook my head. “Do you honestly think saying shit like that is a turn-on?” “Yes...”
― Whitney Gracia Williams, Reasonable Doubt: Volume 2

“How many women do you think a man could possibly screw in his lifetime?” The vendor handed me my change. “I don’t know,” I said. “I’ve stopped counting.” “Stopped counting, eh? What did you do, get to ten and decide that was enough before settling down?” He pointed to the gold band on my left hand. “No. I settled down first, then I started fucking.”
― Whitney Gracia Williams, Reasonable Doubt: Volume 2

“They don't sell friends in stores....”
― Whitney Gracia Williams, Sincerely, Carter