Amber Dusick > Quotes

“Some indoor play gyms are ok. As long as they hose them down or light them on fire once every few years.”
― Amber Dusick, Parenting: Illustrated with Crappy Pictures

“Parents are just uncelebrated rock stars - we stay up late, take drugs and treat our bodies like crap. Yay!”
― Amber Dusick, Parenting: Illustrated with Crappy Pictures

“Every parent loathes the bedtime routine. Actually, there are probably some parents who love the bedtime routine, but I've never met any and they are probably weird.”
― Amber Dusick, Parenting: Illustrated with Crappy Pictures

“But enough about my superficial complaints. Who cares, right? My body made PEOPLE. I'm like a wizard. Wizards don't need perfect bodies because they wear robes. I have a robe.”
― Amber Dusick, Parenting: Illustrated with Crappy Pictures

“Changing a diaper in an airplane bathroom is like changing a diaper inside an empty refrigerator that a drunk person is pushing around on a dolly.”
― Amber Dusick, Parenting: Illustrated with Crappy Pictures

“Putting a disposable diaper on a baby with diarrhea is kinda like putting your thumb over the end of a garden hose.”
― Amber Dusick, Parenting: Illustrated with Crappy Pictures

“The only thing that was actually effective at tricking my babies into sleeping was not something money could buy. It was me. Well, actually it was my milk-producing nipple pacifiers. But we'll say it was me because that sounds cozy.”
― Amber Dusick, Parenting: Illustrated with Crappy Pictures

“Doesn’t he realize that I’ve had kids hanging on me all day? Literally? The last thing I want now is someone inside of me. I just want my body to myself! I don’t want anyone touching me for at least ten minutes. And then I want to sleep!”
― Amber Dusick, Marriage: Illustrated with Crappy Pictures