Carol Tuttle > Quotes

“When you truly stop seeing your children’s tendencies through eyes of judgment, they will feel the change and respond in positive ways you cannot yet anticipate.”
― Carol Tuttle, The Child Whisperer: The Ultimate Handbook for Raising Happy, Successful, Cooperative Children

“Whose Success Do You Actually Have In Mind? Consider for a moment: Which standards have you set for your children that actually satisfy your own needs? Do you need your child to be or look or act a certain way in order for you to feel like a good parent? What motivates you to want your child to be a certain way or accomplish certain things? Do you need your child to look good so you feel good? Or do you really believe that what you are doing has value to your child’s development and personal happiness? This is a big one: If you have ever worried about your children missing certain opportunities, take a look at yourself. Are you trying to avoid dealing with failures or regrets in your own life? Your child is not responsible to protect you from uncomfortable emotions. The best time (and the trickiest time) to ask yourself all these questions is when your buttons get pushed, when you feel your child is really stirring things up. Whenever you experience parent-child conflict, or your child does not want to cooperate or comply with something you’ve requested, STOP and ask yourself: Is this about me or is this really about my child?”
― Carol Tuttle, The Child Whisperer: The Ultimate Handbook for Raising Happy, Successful, Cooperative Children

“I believe that the purpose of parenting is to raise children true to their natures so they can grow up feeling honored, confident, and free to be themselves.”
― Carol Tuttle, The Child Whisperer: The Ultimate Handbook for Raising Happy, Successful, Cooperative Children

“Current fashion magazines have become a form of entertainment, and in some cases bizarre art, showing women in outfits that the everyday woman would never wear. The fashion system has not and will never even attempt to teach us the skills and tools to honor our true nature and our unique physical traits so we can express our true beauty.”
― Carol Tuttle

“They move their bodies and hands to communicate. Imagination even applies to language. They often make”
― Carol Tuttle, The Child Whisperer: The Ultimate Handbook for Raising Happy, Successful, Cooperative Children

“For example, Adria came home from nursery school one day with a picture she was excited to show off. She immediately interrupted something important her mother was doing and wanted her mom to celebrate her picture with her. Another time, her mother might”
― Carol Tuttle, The Child Whisperer: The Ultimate Handbook for Raising Happy, Successful, Cooperative Children

“Child Whisperer Tip: Their quick movement from idea to idea often earns these children the label of “childish” or “silly.” So Type 1 children long to be respected as they grow up. In order to be taken seriously, they commonly attempt to slow down their energy and change who they are. Take your Type 1 child’s thought process seriously and listen to what they have to say, no matter how scattered it may appear at times. Their brains work quickly and their language has a hard time keeping up with how quickly thoughts move through their mind. Be willing to just try to make the jump from thought to thought with them sometimes. When it comes to a Type 1s feelings, everything is larger than life. Little joys are huge delights. Hurt feelings can lead to bursts of emotion. Both expressions may sound quite loud, as they express their emotions vocally, especially as young children. Type 1 toddlers are either screaming in delight or screaming in frustration. The highest squeal you hear from teenage girls is most likely to come from a Type 1.”
― Carol Tuttle, The Child Whisperer: The Ultimate Handbook for Raising Happy, Successful, Cooperative Children

“The current cultural approach to beauty comes from a place of shame: shame that you’re not good enough, that you’re flawed, and that you use clothes and beauty products to make up for deficiencies that you’ll never fully be able to compensate for.”
― Carol Tuttle, Dressing Your Truth: Discover your Personal Beauty Profile

“Mario, our fun-loving son, has a natural gift for spontaneity, bright ideas, friendliness, and an upbeat, hopeful attitude. His nature expresses itself as randomness that can be judged as irresponsible. Mark, our more serious son, has a natural gift for structure and focus. He prioritizes being his own authority, which can bring out others’ judgment that he’s a know-it-all. The same parenting approach DID NOT work for these two sons. Once I discovered how to parent each of them true to their natures, I was able to honor both boys in the way they needed. Becoming a Child Whisperer gave me the insights I needed in the exact moments that made a difference. I worked with these two very different children based on an understanding of their true natures and primary needs. Their unique natures showed up in their thoughts, feelings, communication, learning style, and even body language and facial features. Believe me, they were motivated”
― Carol Tuttle, The Child Whisperer: The Ultimate Handbook for Raising Happy, Successful, Cooperative Children

“Marianne Williamson said, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; its in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
― Carol Tuttle, Dressing Your Truth: Discover your Personal Beauty Profile

“At four years old, this boy could not yet have an agenda to be rude. He was merely living true to his innately serious and reflective nature. These are some of the messages he might take from the demand to engage socially before he’s ready: “I need to please others to be loved. I need to change my nature to accommodate others. I need to do what others want me to do so they can be comfortable, even if it makes me uncomfortable.” Teaching this boy that he needed to live contrary to his true nature was hurtful to him—even though the skill being taught was supposed to contribute to his later success. Here’s the trick: Teaching him this skill would probably create the opposite effect by causing him to withdraw even more! In fact, the adults I’ve worked with who still can’t look people in the eye are most often those who were shamed about who they were as children. By allowing her son to just be in a new space in his own way, this mother will communicate that he is more important to her than the potential reactions of other people. She will actually help him develop more self-confidence to interact by expressing her own trust in him that he can make the choice when he feels ready. Do not misunderstand this example. I am not saying that we should allow children to do whatever they want, whenever they feel like it. I am not saying that we shouldn’t bother teaching our children social skills or appropriate boundaries. As parents, we have an extraordinary responsibility to guide and to teach. What I am saying is that we need to reevaluate the expectations behind our guidance and our teaching. Why do we really place certain expectations on our children, especially in social situations? How much do our expectations serve our parental egos, and how much do they honor our children’s specific needs? Do we want to look like good parents—or do we want to actually be good parents?”
― Carol Tuttle, The Child Whisperer: The Ultimate Handbook for Raising Happy, Successful, Cooperative Children

“With your tendency towards perfection, you can create low self-esteem and pessimism in your view of yourself, others, and life in general.”
― Carol Tuttle, It's Just My Nature! A Guide To Knowing and Living Your True Nature