Julie Mayhew > Quotes

“It's cruel to think of your classmates like that, but you have to focus on their weaknesses to survive. You have to make their problems and insecurities seem worse than your own, otherwise how can you live with yourself?”
― Julie Mayhew, Red Ink

“In the morning, on the day of remembrance, put the wheat in a bowl with walnuts, almonds and parsley. Add a message of devotion, a wish for the future, your gratitude to God. Sprinkle in cinnamon, not guilt. Throw in sesame seeds, throw away your fear. Turn out your mixture and create a mound - a monument to love. Brown some flour and sift. Add a layer of sugar. Press flat. Finally, crush the skin of a pomegranate with the remains of your fury and spread the seeds with love, in the shape of a cross.”
― Julie Mayhew, Red Ink

“What feelings are coming up for you?
I can't think of anything to say. Should I literally do what the question asks, stick two fingers down my throat and vomit up the strange, dark monster that has made its home inside of me? We could interrogate this creature instead.”
― Julie Mayhew, Red Ink

“You have to make a choice. Do you fight, or do you keep your head down? Do you put your chin up and your eyes to the sky, or do you tremble like the aspen leaves and contemplate throwing yourself in the fast-flowing river at the bottom of the garden? Or is there, I asked myself, a way to do both? Can you be two people - someone to fool them, and also someone who is not a fool to yourself? Can you live like that?”
― Julie Mayhew, The Big Lie

“I have this piece of thread,' Maria explained to little Melon. 'The piece of thread that connects my heart to yours. This thread, it also binds my heart to home and to Babas. When something is tugging at Babas's heart, I know, because I feel it too.”
― Julie Mayhew, Red Ink

“A vast flood swamped Maria, pulling her beneath the surface of life. When the tears eventually dried, they were replaced by the soft, suffocating fog of depression. She was numb. Maria looked back on her days of rage and sorrow with a twisted sense of fondness. At least then she had felt something.”
― Julie Mayhew, Red Ink

“No one will say it out loud. It's like saying 'Macbeth' in the theatre; it brings bad luck. Your mum died - jinx! - yours will die too now. Say it, say it out loud. The worst has already happened.”
― Julie Mayhew, Red Ink

“Take five pounds of hulled whole wheat. Hold it in your arms. Feel that it weighs nothing compared to the load that lays heavy on your heart. Wash the wheat, let your tears join in. Strike a match, strike up faith, light the gas, Watch the wheat bubble and boil. See steam rising like hope. Take the pot from the heat and pour the wheat through a sieve. Lay the grain on a sheet overnight to dry. Rest your head on your own sheets. Dream of a flower dying, shedding its seeds, allowing another flower to grow.”
― Julie Mayhew, Red Ink

“I kept watching Lilli though. I wanted to see what was going on in her brain. Which of her memories was winning the fight? Was it Dad all of those evenings, sitting in the dark of the dining room, focused intently, hypnotized by the flickering monitor of a small, flat computer that opened like a book? Was it the sensation of her little nail-bitten fingers once or twice being allowed to touch its delicious keys? Or was it that moment - the one where Dad shot her down and told her she was wrong?

I guessed the last one. It packed quite a punch.”
― Julie Mayhew, The Big Lie

“We are two bricks that belong side by side, strong, building the walls of our family. I will come back to you, if you need me like I need you. I love you.”
― Julie Mayhew, Red Ink

“It wasn't her. Not really. A person is not what remains, their body, but how they moved in this world. How they turned their head to pin you down with one of their beautiful eyes. How they casually linked a finger with you as they walked into the kitchen. How they pressed the whole weight of themselves onto you in the morning. The buttery scent of their hair, their skin. How they tried to smile but bit their lip with gappy teeth..”
― Julie Mayhew, Mother Tongue