J. Michael Orenduff > Quotes

“Some people are awe-inspired by majestic mountains, some by poetry and others by abstruse mathematics. But whatever the source, we all need a little awe in our lives.”
― J. Michael Orenduff, The Pot Thief Who Studied Pythagoras

“The only bill not overdue was for my health insurance. That’s because I don’t have any. Never have. Based on the figure the federal government claims is the average monthly cost of health coverage for someone like me who is self-employed, I’ve saved about $200,000 since opening Spirits in Clay. I”
― J. Michael Orenduff, The Pot Thief Who Studied Georgia O'Keeffe

“all people in all places at all times are basically the same. In the million years since we started speaking and using tools, we humans have developed thousands of cultures, but the ways in which they are alike are fundamental, and the ways in which they are different are only superficial.”
― J. Michael Orenduff, The Pot Thief Who Studied Ptolemy

“Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it’s called golf.”
― J. Michael Orenduff, The Pot Thief Mysteries Volume Two: The Pot Thief Who Studied Escoffier, The Pot Thief Who Studied D. H. Lawrence, and The Pot Thief Who Studied Billy the Kid

“Judging from Schnitzel, Austrian food will not be a hit in the Land of Enchantment. It is too dark for this sunny clime. Because it relies so heavily on fat, sugar and salt, it has a tired formulaic taste one might expect in the cafeteria of a tourist boat on the Danube. After it sank. I have decided to make Schnitzel the first restaurant I have ever awarded minus two stars.”
― J. Michael Orenduff, The Pot Thief Mysteries Volume Two: The Pot Thief Who Studied Escoffier, The Pot Thief Who Studied D. H. Lawrence, and The Pot Thief Who Studied Billy the Kid

“I was not shot at. I was hit in the chest.” “No, you were hit in the book. It’s a good thing the uncertainty principle is so complicated. If you’d been reading a Harlequin Romance, you’d be dead.” “I wouldn’t be caught dead reading a Harlequin Romance.” Evidently she missed the humor.”
― J. Michael Orenduff, The Pot Thief Mysteries Volume One: The Pot Thief Who Studied Pythagoras, The Pot Thief Who Studied Ptolemy, and The Pot Thief Who Studied Einstein

“Auguste Escoffier, the famous chef who devised one of the two systems of organization and process used by restaurants. The other widely used restaurant system was devised by Ray Kroc. They didn’t have any books by him.”
― J. Michael Orenduff, The Pot Thief Mysteries Volume Two: The Pot Thief Who Studied Escoffier, The Pot Thief Who Studied D. H. Lawrence, and The Pot Thief Who Studied Billy the Kid

“An Austrian restaurant anywhere else in New Mexico would fail, but Santa Fe is not like the rest of the state. The Opera here is sold out every year. In Roswell or Farmington, getting people to listen to Mozart would require a firearm.”
― J. Michael Orenduff, The Pot Thief Mysteries Volume Two: The Pot Thief Who Studied Escoffier, The Pot Thief Who Studied D. H. Lawrence, and The Pot Thief Who Studied Billy the Kid

“The hidden message was that the person I pretended to be was irresistible to Stella and, Susannah later explained, to many other women as well. I had inadvertently fed Stella a great pick-up line. The second surface message was that Stella felt sorry for me and was willing to lend me her iron and instruct me on its use. The hidden message—again explained to me by Susannah—was that Stella was flirting with me. Since I broke in six more times, you already realize I didn’t find the purloined pots that first morning. My second trip to Rio Grande Lofts did not involve surreptitious entry. Stella let me in as a guest. She used one of her blouses to demonstrate how to iron. It was the blouse she had been wearing moments before the lesson began. One thing led to another as they tend to do when a woman disrobes in front of a guy who hasn’t had sex in several years. Stella turned out to be Channel 17’s Roving Reporter, which is why she assumed I knew who she was. I didn’t because I don’t have a television. You may also recall”
― J. Michael Orenduff, The Pot Thief Who Studied the Woman at Otowi Crossing

“I’ve never eaten carp, and I never will.” “I had it growing up,” he said. “Otherwise, my childhood was happy,” he added and laughed. He lit a cigarette, and I moved a couple of feet”
― J. Michael Orenduff, The Pot Thief Mysteries Volume Two: The Pot Thief Who Studied Escoffier, The Pot Thief Who Studied D. H. Lawrence, and The Pot Thief Who Studied Billy the Kid

“The alarm clock and shift work have put more men in the grave than all the wars in history.”
― J. Michael Orenduff, The Pot Thief Who Studied D. H. Lawrence

“New Mexico’s potters are free to use iridescent glazes and decorate their pots with embedded casino chips if they want to, but I don’t have to buy and sell the stuff.”
― J. Michael Orenduff, The Pot Thief Mysteries Volume One: The Pot Thief Who Studied Pythagoras, The Pot Thief Who Studied Ptolemy, and The Pot Thief Who Studied Einstein

“of us today don’t believe there are multiple gods. We have multiple politicians instead, and—like the Greek gods—they run around in circles and do bad things to ordinary people. But”
― J. Michael Orenduff, The Pot Thief Who Studied Ptolemy

“Despite the fact that I knew full well I’d be alone in a hotel room, I had forgotten to bring any reading material. I had read the Bible years ago, and I figured the Gideon version in the nightstand probably contained no new chapters.”
― J. Michael Orenduff, The Pot Thief Mysteries Volume Two: The Pot Thief Who Studied Escoffier, The Pot Thief Who Studied D. H. Lawrence, and The Pot Thief Who Studied Billy the Kid

“Winston Churchill once said, ‘History will be kind to us. We know this, for we shall write it.’ History is written by the victors.”
― J. Michael Orenduff, The Pot Thief Who Studied D. H. Lawrence

“The Flanders Panel is a murder mystery by Arturo Pérez-Reverte. It’s a great book.”
― J. Michael Orenduff, The Pot Thief Who Studied Georgia O'Keeffe

“He found it a few years ago hiking in the wilderness.” “No wonder it’s all beat up. Canvases just aren’t suited to wilderness hiking.”
― J. Michael Orenduff, The Pot Thief Who Studied Georgia O'Keeffe

“It’s a sad commentary on America’s literacy that a book urging you to adopt the habits of “successful” people—meaning those who wear dark suits, lack a sense of humor, invent things like hedge funds and send their kids to Harvard—is a best seller.”
― J. Michael Orenduff, The Pot Thief Mysteries Volume One: The Pot Thief Who Studied Pythagoras, The Pot Thief Who Studied Ptolemy, and The Pot Thief Who Studied Einstein

“If you interfere, you will certainly hurt her. If you do not, she may still be hurt, but is not certain. Better to have romance and risk a hurt than to have a hurt inflicted on you by a well-meaning friend.”
― J. Michael Orenduff, The Pot Thief Mysteries Volume One: The Pot Thief Who Studied Pythagoras, The Pot Thief Who Studied Ptolemy, and The Pot Thief Who Studied Einstein

“quart casserole dish. That’s layer number one. Then you cover that with two cans of Fritos bean dip, two plastic packages of guacamole dip, one sixteen ounce tub of sour cream, a thin layer of mayonnaise and a package of taco seasoning. Cover that with shredded cheddar cheese then spread several cans of sliced black olives. It usually takes four of those little cans they come in. Then top it all off with chopped tomatoes and green onions.” “Miss Gladys, I believe your seven-layer dip has ten”
― J. Michael Orenduff, The Pot Thief Who Studied Ptolemy

“I’ve never eaten carp, and I never will.” “I had it growing up,” he said. “Otherwise, my childhood was happy,” he added and laughed.”
― J. Michael Orenduff, The Pot Thief Mysteries Volume Two: The Pot Thief Who Studied Escoffier, The Pot Thief Who Studied D. H. Lawrence, and The Pot Thief Who Studied Billy the Kid

“Don’t you get lonely sitting out there all by yourself looking at the stars?” “You can’t be lonely unless you’re thinking about yourself. When I look at the stars, I forget everything about myself, so I’m not lonely or sad or anything else.” “I know”
― J. Michael Orenduff, The Pot Thief Who Studied Ptolemy

“Susannah tells me that crime scene investigation is all the rage on television these days. I picture Sherlock Holmes bending over a corpse with his magnifying glass. Holmes’ magnifying glass, that is. The corpse probably wouldn’t have one.”
― J. Michael Orenduff, The Pot Thief Mysteries Volume One: The Pot Thief Who Studied Pythagoras, The Pot Thief Who Studied Ptolemy, and The Pot Thief Who Studied Einstein

“There’s a reason why our knees don’t bend back a full one hundred and eighty degrees. God knew we’d kick ourselves in the ass if they did.”
― J. Michael Orenduff, The Pot Thief Who Studied Georgia O'Keeffe

“Nostalgia is like quicksand—if you wiggle around in it, it can pull you down.”
― J. Michael Orenduff, The Pot Thief Who Studied Pythagoras

“Live in the moment. If the moment finds you in a charmed place, all the better.”
― J. Michael Orenduff, The Pot Thief Mysteries Volume Two: The Pot Thief Who Studied Escoffier, The Pot Thief Who Studied D. H. Lawrence, and The Pot Thief Who Studied Billy the Kid

“Morgan’s speech is just peppered with those cute French phrases. I do think it sounds so high class, don’t you agree?” “Using French is quite de rigueur these days,” I said. “Yes,” he said uncertainly. “One might almost say it’s derriere,” I added. “Precisely,” said Morgan.”
― J. Michael Orenduff, The Pot Thief Mysteries Volume One: The Pot Thief Who Studied Pythagoras, The Pot Thief Who Studied Ptolemy, and The Pot Thief Who Studied Einstein

“The connection between the ancient potter and the contemporary one has nothing to do with tribe or ethnicity. We humans are not our bones, our flesh color, or our eye shape. We are what we do. Culture is behavioral, not biological.”
― J. Michael Orenduff, The Pot Thief Mysteries Volume One: The Pot Thief Who Studied Pythagoras, The Pot Thief Who Studied Ptolemy, and The Pot Thief Who Studied Einstein

“Because she couldn’t read or write, the Spaniards labeled her uncivilized. But her ability to make and read petroglyphs is the same skill exercised in a different way. The markings on her pot had as much meaning for her as the words in a book do for us. The lines and angles didn’t make her pots stronger or improve their capacity to store seeds. They are there because the potter was answering Whitman’s question, “What good amid these, O me, O life?” The powerful play does indeed go on, and she contributed a verse. The”
― J. Michael Orenduff, The Pot Thief Who Studied Georgia O'Keeffe

“O’Keeffe said, “I have always first had a show for myself—and made up my mind—then after that it doesn’t matter to me very much what anyone else says—good or bad.”
― J. Michael Orenduff, The Pot Thief Who Studied Georgia O'Keeffe