Robert Lynn Asprin > Quotes

“When things are at their blackest, I say to myself, 'Cheer up, things could be worse.' And sure enough, they get worse.”
― Robert Asprin, editor

“In times of crisis, it is of the utmost importance that one does not lose her head.
Marie Antoinette”
― Robert Asprin

“When old friends get together, everything else fades to insignificance."- War, Famine, Pestilence, and Death”
― Robert Lynn Asprin, Myth Directions

“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall take flack from both sides."- Unofficial UN Motto”
― Robert Lynn Asprin, Sweet Myth-Tery of Life

“Numerical superiority is of no consequence. In battle, victory will go to the best tactician."- G. A. Custer”
― Robert Lynn Asprin, Myth Conceptions

“C'mon kid. Think a minute, even if it hurts.”
― Robert Lynn Asprin, Another Fine Myth

“Just a little off the top!"- A. Boleyn”
― Robert Lynn Asprin, M.Y.T.H. Inc. in Action

“Diplomacy is the delicate weapon of the civilized warrior."- Hun, A. T.”
― Robert Lynn Asprin, Myth Conceptions

“I am not a slow writer, I am not a fast writer . . . I am a half-fast writer.”
― Robert Asprin

“Don't pick up hitchhikers!"- D. Adams”
― Robert Lynn Asprin, Myth-ion Improbable

“Everybody needs a career manager."- Lady Macbeth”
― Robert Lynn Asprin, Myth-ing Persons

“Meanwhile, back at reality..."- G.Lucas”
― Robert Lynn Asprin, Sweet Myth-Tery of Life

“Now that we've got the whole story," he said solemnly, "now you can panic.”
― Robert Lynn Asprin, Myth Conceptions

“To Serve and Protect..."- Traditional Motto of Protection Rackets”
― Robert Lynn Asprin, M.Y.T.H. Inc. in Action

“There's gotta be a way out of this dungeon."- G. Gygax”
― Robert Lynn Asprin, Myth-ion Improbable

“One of the worst ways of being aroused from sound sleep, is by the noise of a dragon and a unicorn playing tag.”
― Robert Lynn Asprin

“We've got an unbeatable team."- Sauron”
― Robert Lynn Asprin, Myth Directions

“Well, kid," Aahz said, sweeping me with an appraising stare, "it looks like we're stuck with each other. The setup isn't ideal, but it's what we've got. Time to bite the bullet and play with the cards we're dealt. You do know what cards are, don't you?"
"Of course," I said, slightly wounded.
"Good."
"What's a bullet?”
― Robert Lynn Asprin, Another Fine Myth

“Please ta meetcha, kid. I'm Aahz."
"Oz?"
"No Relation."
"No relation to what?" I asked, but he was examining the room again.”
― Robert Lynn Asprin, Another Fine Myth

“Are you going to shake my hand,or am I going to rip your heart out?”
― Robert Asprin, Another Fine Myth

“Why, the man killed over two hundred demons with this sword. They say it is charmed such that whomever wields it cannot be killed by a demon.” “How did he die?” “Knifed by an exotic dancer.”
― Robert Asprin, Another Fine Myth

“They never let you live it down. One little mistake!"- Nero”
― Robert Lynn Asprin, Little Myth Marker

“To function efficiently, any group of people or employees must have faith in their leader."- Capt. Bligh(ret.)”
― Robert Lynn Asprin, Another Fine Myth

“What does common sense have to do with it?” he exploded. “We're talking about a job interview!”
― Robert Asprin

“Run through those time measurements again," Aahz grumbled.
"In seconds, minutes, hours...."
"Minutes! We've got a few minutes.”
― Robert Lynn Asprin, Another Fine Myth

“I should of known he was married. I mean, nobody that young is THAT bald unless he's got a wife at home.”
― Robert Lynn Asprin, Myth Conceptions

“Relax, Stranger. Things are not as they seem.”
― Robert Lynn Asprin, Another Fine Myth

“My colleagues and I feel that independents like ElfQuest are nothing but sheep in wolves' clothing."- S. Lee”
― Robert Lynn Asprin, Myth-ing Persons

“Relax, Skeeve! This'll be easy, Skeeve! Trust me, Skeeve!' Boy Aahz, when you miss a call you don't do it small, do you?"
"Shut up, kid!”
― Robert Lynn Asprin, Another Fine Myth

“Went with one (Assassin) for a while... lovely lass, but she couldn't keep her mouth shut, even in bed. Sometimes I wonder if any profession really guards its secrets as closely as they claim.”
― Robert Lynn Asprin, Another Fine Myth