Duncan Whitehead > Quotes

“(I'm) Very good in bed. I sleep like a log. --@DuncanWhitehead”
― Duncan Whitehead

“I hope this year that I don't make the same mistake as I did last year while on Life Guard duty at the local pool. Luckily I think most people have moved on and realize that I did not mean to fall asleep for as long as I actually did.”
― Duncan Whitehead

“Either my girlfriend's collection of "Sex in the City" memorabilia goes or I do.”
― Duncan Whitehead

“Somebody should really do something about all the World's problems, especially the ones involving parking near my office.”
― Duncan Whitehead

“It just goes to show that when a man needs help, a good woman will always bake a pie.”
― Duncan Whitehead, The Gordonston Ladies Dog Walking Club

“I'm taking part in a social experiment where I have to wear a t-shirt with the words 'I HATE TAYLOR SWIFT' emblazoned across it for two weeks to see how people react. So far, I've been spat at, kicked, and verbally abused. It will be interesting to see what happens when I leave the house.”
― Duncan Whitehead, The Reluctant Jesus

“Bob and I were semi-regulars at the restaurant, and Sonny explained to me that the booths were standard size; even the largest American could slide into them usually, and that Bob’s wife must be expecting an extremely large baby.”
― Duncan Whitehead, The Reluctant Jesus

“I won't be donating blood again anytime soon. Too many questions. Whose is it? Where did you get it from? Why is it in buckets?”
― Duncan Whitehead

“Polk almost jumped. The papers he held in his hand fell on his desk and at the same time, a half full cup of coffee crashed to the floor. “Sheriff,”
― Duncan Whitehead, Murder At The Fourth: A Forest Pines Mystery

“11:38 - Arrived at crime scene.
11:38 - Examined body. Signs of a struggle.
11:38 - Found murder weapon in drain.
11:38 - Realised watch was broken.”
― Duncan Whitehead, A Cozy Mystery...With Cupcakes and Zombies

“Miller was the third most common surname for Jews in the United States.”
― Duncan Whitehead, The Reluctant Jesus

“I suppose what I meant by kind eyes was that they seemed to sense my pain.”
― Duncan Whitehead, The Reluctant Jesus