Bauvard > Quotes

“Alphabet: a symbolic system used in algebra, with applications that have yet to be discovered by dyslexics and two thirds of college graduates.”
― Bauvard, Some Inspiration for the Overenthusiastic

“Envy is for people who don’t have the self-esteem to be jealous.”
― Bauvard, Some Inspiration for the Overenthusiastic

“The idealist hopes. The romantic sees doom. The postmodernist sees doom and hopes.”
― Bauvard, Some Inspiration for the Overenthusiastic

“I just wanted the rain to come so I could help grow something. But I became a part of so much more” – a grain of dirt after a mudslide.”
― Bauvard, Some Inspiration for the Overenthusiastic

“Men only treat women like princesses when they want to use them like prostitutes.”
― Bauvard, Some Inspiration for the Overenthusiastic

“The lampshade on my head is for my bright ideas. I won't be able to convey them until Monday, when my curtain gets out of the dry cleaners.”
― Bauvard, Some Inspiration for the Overenthusiastic

“First people lose their hair, then their vices, then their motivation. Then a toupee brings it all flowing back.”
― Bauvard, Some Inspiration for the Overenthusiastic

“It is a known fact that pain and pleasure are the two most basic elements of life. But the secret is to simplify that fact.”
― Bauvard, The Prince Of Plungers

“I shed a tear when I meet somebody who always quits. Reliable people are so rare in this world.”
― Bauvard, Some Inspiration for the Overenthusiastic

“The problem with our society is that our values aren’t in the right place. There’s an awful lot of bleeding and naked bodies on prime-time networks, but not nearly enough cable television on public programming.”
― Bauvard, Some Inspiration for the Overenthusiastic

“I dropped out of school and congratulated myself for my diligence. Few realize how hard one has to work to resist the pressures of conventional success.”
― Bauvard, The Prince Of Plungers

“If all women revealed their age, men would have nothing to hide from each other.”
― Bauvard, Some Inspiration for the Overenthusiastic

“Artists are the serfs of a leisure society.”
― Bauvard, Some Inspiration for the Overenthusiastic

“I threw an etiquette party and served nothing but beans and sparkling water. The topic of conversation was ‘excuse me’.”
― Bauvard, Some Inspiration for the Overenthusiastic

“The only way to be completely self-consistent is to be constantly uttering paradoxes.”
― Bauvard, Some Inspiration for the Overenthusiastic

“Use condoms; it’s wise not to gamble with your children's future.”
― Bauvard, Some Inspiration for the Overenthusiastic

“I don’t read biographies for moral instruction, or for a history lesson. I want to know what people are saying about me.”
― Bauvard, Some Inspiration for the Overenthusiastic

“Water is very bad for one’s health. People in third world countries seem to drink nothing but water, and they are always dying.”
― Bauvard, The Prince Of Plungers

“Every culture has some ritual for joining two people together and making them stay that way, and ours is giving tax breaks.”
― Bauvard, Some Inspiration for the Overenthusiastic

“Just relax. Everyone around you is working too hard.”
― Bauvard, Some Inspiration for the Overenthusiastic

“I had a dream about you. You were lost in a daydream, when I walked in and you began screaming. But I know that could never actually happen. In real life I only enter people’s nightmares.”
― Bauvard, I Had a Dream About You

“An empty skull is the vanitas symbol of modern education.”
― Bauvard, Some Inspiration for the Overenthusiastic

“I had a dream about you. I was sitting on your couch, relating my succession of ideas on subconscious influence. I asked you what they meant, and you told me that free associations were a bad way to advance my political career.”
― Bauvard, I Had a Dream About You

“If you want to change the world, just change yourself. The world needs traitors.”
― Bauvard, Some Inspiration for the Overenthusiastic

“So many things happen that we can't control, its best not to worry about what we can. Believing you can change the world has a terrible effect on one's ego.”
― Bauvard, The Prince Of Plungers

“When nobody practices what they strongly believe in, that day will be a triumph of prudence.”
― Bauvard, Some Inspiration for the Overenthusiastic

“Usually I am the only subject I care to discuss with company. But when I'm getting reacquainted with an old friend, I really enjoy just sitting back and listening to them talk about me for a while.”
― Bauvard, The Prince Of Plungers

“Bike lane: the section of the road that accommodates wide loads and has speed bumps to protect drunk drivers.”
― Bauvard, Some Inspiration for the Overenthusiastic

“Welcome to Telepathics Anonymous. Don’t bother introducing yourself.”
― Bauvard, Some Inspiration for the Overenthusiastic

“Spending one’s last moments prostrated before the toilet is the supreme act of repentance. It allows one to relieve a heavy inner burden.”
― Bauvard, Some Inspiration for the Overenthusiastic