Amy Vansant > Quotes

“There are good ships, and there are wood ships, there are ships that sail the sea. But the best ships are friendships, and may they always be.”
― Amy Vansant, The Pirate, the Angel & the Irishman

“This place is like a Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court—if the Yankee was Jimmy Buffett.”
― Amy Vansant, Pineapple Trivia Night

“various settings of her massage chair. She liked the shiatsu”
― Amy Vansant, Pineapple Lies

“Better plot lines came from her neighbor’s six-year-old playing pretend in the front yard. Though to be fair, the kid might be a genius. She’d seen him create dialog for two trashcans, three bushes, and a tree that made total sense.”
― Amy Vansant, Slightly Stalky

“Do vegetables drink milk? Who has a milkman? Is it always 1860 in Green Giant Land? And why are milkmen always so horny?”
― Amy Vansant, Slightly Stalky

“Did”
― Amy Vansant, Pineapple Lies

“Someone had set out the usual array of cookies and punch, though Charlotte thought the arrangement felt a tad festive for a Corpse Committee.”
― Amy Vansant, Pineapple Lies

“The last thing she wanted to do was climb into the attic crawlspace in the middle of the night. Attics were unknowns. There could be anything from a family of bats to the legendary Florida Man living up there, but she didn’t know how long the rain would last or how wet her bedroom might become. Again, Florida. It could be a two-minute shower or the sort of thing that made Noah nervous. Checking the weather wouldn’t help—they were only right half the time. Weathermen cheerily lied to her face every day.”
― Amy Vansant, Pineapple Turtles

“Why are things always happy in Japanese restaurants? Just once, maybe I’d like to try the Sashimi of Discontent, or the Heartbroken Hand Roll”
― Amy Vansant, Pineapple Lies

“How?” asked Mariska. She looked at Darla who was already poised to speak. “I know you can break in Darla, but what if he’s home?”
― Amy Vansant, Pineapple Lies

“You have been absolutely no help, you and all your common sense. I was hoping you could help me hatch a dastardly plan.”
― Amy Vansant, Slightly Stalky

“tee shirt that said, It’s weird being the same age as old people.”
― Amy Vansant, Pineapple Halloween

“She didn’t mind. Growing up in a fifty-five-plus retirement community, her creaky joints provided something to complain”
― Amy Vansant, Pineapple Lies

“Seamus walked a direct line to Frank and handed him the gun, backwards, with the barrel open.”
― Amy Vansant, Pineapple Lies