Andrew Cartmel > Quotes

“I'd like you to meet my new girlfriend," said Erik. "I think someone's trying to kill her.”
― Andrew Cartmel, Low Action

“The land of the 45rpm record is the land of chaos.”
― Andrew Cartmel, The Run-Out Groove

“What an odd place for a school."
"It's an odd school.”
― Andrew Cartmel, Doctor Who: Winter for the Adept

“a clergyman I had come to think of as the Digital Divine, who lived nearby in Barnes, had decided to get rid of his enormous, and wonderful, collection of rare jazz records. He”
― Andrew Cartmel, Written in Dead Wax (The Vinyl Detective

“You always go for the gorgeous ones and you always get kicked in the teeth. When are you going to learn?” “Learn what?” “That they don’t go for insolvent, failed DJs”
― Andrew Cartmel, Written in Dead Wax (The Vinyl Detective

“Nevada sighed. “Am I alone in finding the whole notion of the dark web dispiriting? I don’t suppose it’s full of cat videos?” “Only very dark cat videos,” said Tinkler.”
― Andrew Cartmel, Flip Back

“She remained standing in front of me, watching expectantly. I began to wonder if I was supposed to say or do something. I began to feel a little uneasy. There was, after all, a long history in Soho of people being expected to do all kinds of extraordinary things after being handed some money.”
― Andrew Cartmel, Victory Disc

“Please come to the counter surveillance counter.”
― Andrew Cartmel, Written in Dead Wax (The Vinyl Detective

“Down these mean crates a man must dig." page 41.”
― Andrew Cartmel, Written in Dead Wax

“And I’m also very active on the Internet.” “I’m sure you are,” said Nevada. It was impressive how she didn’t actually add the words “No doubt surfing for porn, you pathetic loser,” yet we all clearly understood that’s what she meant.”
― Andrew Cartmel, Written in Dead Wax

“Heading back to my icy house I felt like a trapper returning to his frozen cabin with a prime pelt. Except, in this case, no animals had been harmed. When”
― Andrew Cartmel, Written in Dead Wax (The Vinyl Detective

“Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” —St Augustine”
― Andrew Cartmel, Ashram Assassin

“went to the kitchen and found an avocado to eat. I was becoming addicted to them. They seemed to attain a state of ripeness here in California that was unknown back home on my chilly island.”
― Andrew Cartmel, Written in Dead Wax

“There were people who saw the future of warfare coming from the skies. And they always knew that would mean bombing civilians. That’s what it was always about, though no one would say it aloud. You see, they thought that if you killed enough civilians it would bring a quick end to any war.”
― Andrew Cartmel, Victory Disc

“Do you know what demonic metal is?” I said, “I assume it’s heavy metal with a lot of pretentious references to demons. Plus gothic typography, of course.”
― Andrew Cartmel, Attack and Decay

“Owyn Wynter nodded. “Why yes. He works for me.” “So this corpse-faced creepy motherfucker who has been hanging around our house is working for you?” said Nevada. “And his name is Jaunty?” I said. “It’s short for Jonathan. He’s my accountant.” “Your accountant.”
― Andrew Cartmel, Attack and Decay

“what Sigmund Freud said about cats? He said, ‘Time spent with cats is never wasted.”
― Andrew Cartmel, Victory Disc

“To get his ducks in a row. Odd expression. Can you imagine how hard that would actually be? With real ducks?” “So he could make his killing.” “Yes. But you let the cat out of the bag. Another odd turn of phrase. What sort of bastard would put a cat in a bag in the first place? What is it about us and animals?”
― Andrew Cartmel, Written in Dead Wax (The Vinyl Detective

“It is still possible to find astonishingly rare records at bargain prices in charity shops. Of course most of these shops have resident ‘experts’ to sift through their stock and pull out any choice items for premium pricing. In practice this means anything by the Beatles or Elvis being assigned astronomical price tags regardless of their scarcity or collectability. But the same chump who thinks a digitally remastered reissue of the King’s greatest hits on wafer-thin late 1980s vinyl is worth a small fortune might well let a British Vogue yellow label release of a Sonny Rollins Contemporary slip through for a pittance.”
― Andrew Cartmel, Flip Back

“There were two more cover versions. “One, believe it or not, is a noise-core reinterpretation of ‘Candle in the Wind’.” “By Elton John?” “By Elton John and Bernie Taupin.” “What is noise-core?” said Nevada. “You don’t want to know.” “Is it noisy and hardcore?” “Exactly right.”
― Andrew Cartmel, Attack and Decay