Charlotte MacLeod > Quotes

“The trip itself was the usual...adulation from all sides, rose petals strewn in my path everywhere I went, silver bells festooning the howdah on my private white elephant...you know the drill. I maintained my customary demeanor or regal calm and enigmatic silence throughout.”
― Charlotte MacLeod

“Nor did she merely smile, she glowed with inner goodness that made him think of the vast iron cookstove in his grandmother's kitchen back on the farm. Here, he knew by certain instinct, was a woman who made wonderful cookies and would give you some.”
― Charlotte MacLeod, The Luck Runs Out

“Don't you have something plain and wholesome, like scotch or bourbon?”
― Charlotte MacLeod, Vane Pursuit

“Not that he'd have doubted Helen's word in any case; she was a librarian, and librarians were never wrong.”
― Charlotte MacLeod, Vane Pursuit

“Scions of old families who've hit the skids do like to flaunt their illustrious ancestors....”
― Charlotte MacLeod, The Corpse in Oozak's Pond

“Man cannot live by swine alone.”
― Charlotte MacLeod, Rest You Merry

“Go then, I will keep a herring in the window for you.”
― Charlotte MacLeod, The Luck Runs Out

“he—I do wish somebody would think up a new collective pronoun—”
― Charlotte MacLeod, Rest You Merry

“I thought you were a folk singer.'

'No, I just need a haircut. In point of fact, I can't tell one note from another.'

'That needn't prevent you from being a folk singer.”
― Charlotte MacLeod, Trouble in the Brasses

“Shandy. Have you begun your Ptolemaic”
― Charlotte MacLeod, Something the Cat Dragged In

“Svenson jammed the cap down over his ears and marched for the door. “ ‘Hi ho, hi ho, it’s off to war we go!’ ” “Mama, how do you stand him?” demanded Frideswiede, youngest of the seven sisters. Her father counterwheeled, snatched his wife in a Rudolph Valentino embrace, and bussed her mightily. “ ‘Farewell, my own. I return with my shield,’ or—What the hell’s the rest of it?” “For you there is no rest of it,” said his helpmeet, tucking back a strand of flaxen hair and casting a somewhat complacent glance at Frideswiede. “Go, then, I will keep a herring in the window for you.” “Mama,” said Gudrun, the second youngest, “it’s a candle you’re supposed to keep in the window.” “Nonsense, my child. A candle would smoke up the glass and drip on the sill. A herring lies looking mournful and bereft. The symbolism is much more meaningful. Also it comes in handy for smorgasbord later. Get ready now at once or you will miss the school bus.”
― Charlotte MacLeod, The Luck Runs Out

“No alumnus of the Class of ’73 would ever forget that electric moment when Thorkjeld Svenson in his Commencement remarks clove a solid oak podium neatly in twain from top to base as he slammed down his fist to emphasize those deathless words, “Agri isn’t a business, it’s a culture!” As a farmer’s highest calling was to serve the earth, but to be merry withal in his labor, so was a hog entitled to its wallow in good, soft mud and a cow to its cud of sweet, fresh grass beneath a shady tree before each fulfilled its ultimate destiny. No fowl went from incubator to coop to stewpot without ever once getting its claws in real dirt to scratch up its own worms.”
― Charlotte MacLeod, The Luck Runs Out

“If you mean how come I lived so long, it’s because I never had no dratted fool of a husband to aggravate me into kickin’ the bucket. Clean livin’ an’ high thinkin’ an’ a slug o’ my own homemade damson gin at suppertime’s as good an answer as any if you got to write somethin’. It’s them vitamins in the gin, see? Blasts open the arteries an’ keeps the blood circulatin’. Wouldn’t hurt you to try some, sonny. You look kind o’ peaked to me. Trouble with you young’uns nowadays, settin’ around on your backsides pesterin’ folks that’s got work to do so’s you can dish out tripe for the papers ’stead o’ doin’ a decent hand’s turn yourselves now and then.”
― Charlotte MacLeod, The Luck Runs Out

“Why do women have this perverse talent for sneaking up on a man and whamming him over the head with some inconsequential chore when he has his mind on weightier issues?"

"Because men have this perverse talent for weaseling out of the chores on the specious grounds that doing a little honest work around the place is less important than playing Cops & Robbers with Fred Ottermole.”
― Charlotte MacLeod, Something The Cat Dragged In

“He’s about to fall asleep in his plate.”
― Charlotte MacLeod, The Withdrawing Room

“It was nip, tuck, and a costly speeding ticket, but he managed to each the library in time...”
― Charlotte MacLeod, Rest You Merry

“Why should we travel? We’re already here’ line,”
― Charlotte MacLeod, The Withdrawing Room

“Sarah was pouring wine for Mrs. Sorpende out of a cut-glass decanter she’d been tempted to sell but was now glad she’d held on to. Though they were filled from gallon jugs of the cheapest drinkable sherry she could find, the decanters did seem to have a favorable psychological effect on the flavor.”
― Charlotte MacLeod, The Withdrawing Room

“She’d been having a series of little dinners lately. Naturally, some people got invited oftener than others. Tonight, they were having the Enderbles, an elderly couple whom everybody adored, and Timothy Ames, Peter’s most valued friend and colleague. Tim also happened to be the father of Jemmy, who had married Dave Marsh, a young relative of Helen’s. Coming to keep house for Tim after his wife had been found dead behind Peter’s sofa, she had soon deserted Ames for Shandy. Because she still had slight guilt feelings and because she’d developed a fondness for the crusty old gnome, Helen was going all out to be kind to Tim and the housekeeper whom Jemmy had bullied her father into hiring after Helen married Peter.”
― Charlotte MacLeod, The Luck Runs Out

“Him? Make the trip twice? I might have believed it if I'd seen it, but I didn't, so I won't.”
― Charlotte MacLeod, Something The Cat Dragged In

“Ungley had afforded Balaclava little enough diversion during his lifetime. Maybe he was atoning by departing in a fashion so much more dramatic than his lectures could ever have been.”
― Charlotte MacLeod, Something The Cat Dragged In

“The one time she’d tried it here, Aunt Caroline had snapped, “Much too spicy,” and laid down her dessert fork and spoon with disdain.”
― Charlotte MacLeod, The Withdrawing Room

“hunt the slipper,”
― Charlotte MacLeod, Christmas Stalkings

“I've been thinking she'll probably demand mincemeat tarts, though, and I haven't a speck of mincemeat in the house. You wouldn't care to run to the grocery store for me, I don't suppose? Otherwise I wouldn't have a thing to give her for breakfast except bacon and eggs and fried bread and fried tomatoes and maybe some baked beans on toast and a piece of pineapple custard pie and a few cookies and things.”
― Charlotte MacLeod, The Grub-and-Stakers Spin a Yarn

“Peace to him that is far off, and to him that is near. Isaiah 57:19.”
― Charlotte MacLeod, Christmas Stalkings

“In the exquisite boudoir below, his mother was no doubt embroidering French knots on the draperies. That did seem an odd way to relieve frustration, but perhaps Aunt Caroline enjoyed the nubbly texture that the heavy draperies had taken on as a result of her labors over the years. Anyway, she kept on working French knots and would do so, no doubt, until the curtains fell apart.”
― Charlotte MacLeod, The Family Vault

“Wait a second. Are you saying you know for a positive fact how many marbles were in that dish?"

"Of course..."

"I'll tell Harry you haven't got all your marbles.”
― Charlotte MacLeod, Rest You Merry

“I completely lost my temper. Now, of course, I wish I hadn’t.” “I expect we all wish that sort of thing now and then, but think what a dull world this would be if everyone were perfect.”
― Charlotte MacLeod, The Withdrawing Room

“it is we who degrade ourselves by allowing our standards to be debased without a struggle.”
― Charlotte MacLeod, The Luck Runs Out

“I know liquor's a good servant but a bad master.”
― Charlotte MacLeod, Something in the Water