Alexa Land > Quotes

“Friendship isn't measured in days, months or years, it's measured in the way someone makes you feel.”
― Alexa Land, Against the Wall

“I’m coming for you, Skye! Ain’t nobody gonna violate your rights as a Gay Homosexual American on my watch!”
― Alexa Land, Coming Home

“Nana, did you really try to run down some antigay protesters?” Dante asked. “Of course not! I’m not homicidal. I may, however, have encouraged them to shut the fuck up,” she said.”
― Alexa Land, Skye Blue

“What's life without perfectly certifiable friends?”
― Alexa Land, Against the Wall

“But then, maybe loneliness didn’t have anything to do with how many people we had in our lives. Maybe it was really about how we felt on the inside.

And maybe I should go ahead and let myself feel these things, instead of always trying to push down and deny every negative emotion. Maybe they were just a part of me, and maybe it was okay to not always feel happy and positive. I was forever trying to silence that other part of myself, but maybe I’d feel more whole if I stopped doing that.”
― Alexa Land, Salvation

“I was seriously not cut out for undercover work - which was pretty damn obvious, judging by the fact that I was currently cuddling with a suspect.”
― Alexa Land, Way Off Plan

“Friendship isn't measured in days, months or years, it's measured in the way someone makes you feel. I knew you'd be a friend right from the start.”
― Alexa Land, Against the Wall

“I have a pathological fear of rejection, so I always wait for the other person to make the move.”
― Alexa Land, Belonging

“Art, like life, is really just a matter of how you choose to look at things.”
― Alexa Land, Against the Wall

“Oh hell no. I’ve been gay since I shot out of the womb, screaming I’m never going back there!”
― Alexa Land, Gathering Storm

“All parents make mistakes. They’re only human, so all of us grow up with at least a few invisible scars. But maybe that’s okay, because the hard times are what make us strong enough to survive all the crap life throws at us down the road.”
― Alexa Land, Against the Wall

“is yank it. It’ll release eventually.” “It usually does, when you yank it,” he said with a smile. Nana wrapped both hands around the fleshy appendage and started pulling on it with a series of quick, short tugs. “I know I can jerk it off,” Nana said. “I just gotta keep tugging.” I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing. Behind the camera, Trevor was shaking with silent laughter and turning red.”
― Alexa Land, Coming Home

“Of course, back then I was crimping my hair and wearing enormous shoulder pads that made me look like I played for the Minnesota Vikings. It’s amazing anybody got laid in 1985, given what passed for fashion!”
― Alexa Land, Worlds Away

“Just because someone’s related to you doesn’t mean they’re family.”
― Alexa Land, All I Believe

“Thank you...for loving me when I can't even believe in myself. For seeing something worthwhile in me that no one else sees...”
― Alexa Land, Hitman's Holiday

“I smiled brightly and said, “I’m infiltrating the Russian mafia.”
― Alexa Land, Way Off Plan

“You just stay in there, you uncooperative fuckers. This is why they have stores, so we don’t have to make our own clothes like some damn sheep farming craft bitch.”
― Alexa Land, The Distance

“I’d been hit on by dicks before, but this guy in a giant, inflatable penis costume took it to a whole new level.”
― Alexa Land, Kept Man

“I suddenly realized what you remind me of with that white top and the red bottom. You look like a giant tampon, Dante!”
― Alexa Land, The Distance

“I’m telling you this out of love: shit brown is not your friend. You look like Jake from State Farm fornicated with a UPS driver and gave birth to a poop emoji.”
― Alexa Land, All I Ever Wanted

“Jessie, grab a wiener and stick it in my muffin.” “Wait, what?” her assistant asked.”
― Alexa Land, Hitman's Holiday

“Are they Russian by way of the Ozarks?”
― Alexa Land, Way Off Plan

“Wow,” Christian exclaimed. “Your hair first thing in the morning is a sight to behold. It’s like a Smurf blew up on the top of your head.”
― Alexa Land, Skye Blue

“Oh, hell no. I’ve been gay since I shot out of the womb, screaming I’m never going back there!”
― Alexa Land, Gathering Storm

“When we arrived in the front yard, River exclaimed, “Just in time! The dick parade’s about to start.”
― Alexa Land, Pretenders

“I have this theory that kids are born believing they can do anything. It’s not until life kicks them in the teeth a few times that they start to revise that opinion.”
― Alexa Land, All I Ever Wanted

“We all die alone though, Shea. Even if we're surrounded by others, it's still a solo journey.”
― Alexa Land, Against the Wall

“You have no proof I did anything,” she shouted back. “That could have just been a drive-by dicking!” That made us laugh even harder.”
― Alexa Land, Pretenders

“If you ever want to see something hilarious, hold a condom tightly by the rim, then stick it out the window of a moving car. Half the time, it just blows away. But once in a while you can get it to catch the breeze, and then it blows up to truly epic proportions.”
― Alexa Land, Kindred Spirits

“Nana was dressed like the ringmaster, which seemed appropriate.”
― Alexa Land, All I Believe