Sara Wolf > Quotes

“I would love to slap you right now, but I’m currently wielding a nine pound ball and I’m afraid that would be called murder.”
― Sara Wolf, Lovely Vicious

“Come! Come sit by me. It’s a nice bench. Nice and lovely on the butt.”
“You’re drunk.”
“Yeah, and you’re ugly, but do I complain about it? No! Because I don’t complain about things that I can’t change. That’s called intelligence.”
― Sara Wolf, Lovely Vicious

“How did you find me? If you hacked into the Club’s computer to look up my appointments - "
“Whoa, I think you overestimate me, shitlord. Last time I checked all I did was be in the wrong place at the right time. I saw you and had to - ”
“Stalk me.”
“ - delicately approach you. In a sideways manner. From behind. Without being seen at all. For ten minutes.”
― Sara Wolf, Lovely Vicious

“I cannot, for the life of me, remember what we were just conversing about! Alas. I will forever remember this time we spent together affectionately and oh god I remember now you pervert!”
“You were the one who shouted ‘sex’!” He hisses.
“You were the one who was born, so really I think that’s the root of the problem.”
― Sara Wolf, Lovely Vicious

“Did you have fun? How many boys did you make out with?” She asks. “Seventy. At least.” “How many shots did you take?” “Fourteen. I let go of the wheel halfway home and Jesus drove me the rest of the way.”
― Sara Wolf, Lovely Vicious

“The waitress scuttles away, and I make a shooing motion at the old couple who’re still glaring.

“Don’t you have something to better to work on?” I hiss. “Like golfing or eating prunes or dying?”

The old lady looks shocked.

“Okay, sorry, not dying. But seriously, prunes are good for you.”
― Sara Wolf, Lovely Vicious

“Sometimes, we can’t do the things we want to do for ourselves. Sometimes we wait for someone else to do them. You can’t always wait like that. You have to seek out change on your own.”
― Sara Wolf, Lovely Vicious

“And then he came, and pulled her petals off one by one, forcing her to surround herself with thorns to survive. But he missed one petal. And she guards it with a tiger's ferocity.”
― Sara Wolf, Lovely Vicious

“Hiding is for babies. And ninjas.”
― Sara Wolf, Brutal Precious

“Hello, spawn!” I coo at Kayla’s baby brother as he waddles into her room. He burps at me.
“It looks like you guys speak the same language,” Kayla quips.
“Where was that sass when Jack was making you cry at Avery’s party?”
“Uh, hello? He’s my crush? I’m not going to sass him.”
“Flash ‘em the sass before you flash ‘em the ass.”
“What kind of saying is that?” She laughs.
“Grandma-saying. She’s the head of the motorcycle gang at her nursing home.”
― Sara Wolf, Lovely Vicious

“Let's go. We have to confront her."

I scoff. "Confront her? That's a little mild, don't you think? I'm going to rip her tits off.”
― Sara Wolf, Lovely Vicious

“The sadness will last forever. And I think he was right, but I also think he was very, very wrong. It doesn’t last forever. Because we don’t last forever.”
― Sara Wolf, Savage Delight

“If you fear the past, it becomes your future.”
― Sara Wolf, Bring Me Their Hearts

“Hairy monkeyballs!” I hiss. “Dogshit on a stick! Puke pancakes!”
A head pokes in. Wren, green eyes smiling, walks over to my bed.
“I knew you were awake. Who else spews such original and captivating swears?”
― Sara Wolf, Lovely Vicious

“Hogwarts didn't even send me a letter and I haven't actually forgiven them for that. Wait until I go to London and find Platform Nine-and-Three-Quarters and slip through to the other side and unleash my rage. I'll make Voldemort look like a sock puppet. And I'll make-out with Draco. And I'll train a bunch of house-elves to fan me and bring me grapes -”
― Sara Wolf, Brutal Precious

“Living is really weird. You never get used to it. But it happens anyway. And sometimes you find things that make it a little more comfortable, and you try to hold on to those things, and the tighter you hold, the faster they slip away.”
― Sara Wolf, Brutal Precious

“I’m gross. Look at me – getting all sloppy in front of my mortal enemy. Unexecutable. Inexhaustible. Un…un…under the sea.”
― Sara Wolf, Lovely Vicious

“And offers me a black rose.
"I figured you'd hate flowers, so I decided to get one that matched your soul" He says. I take the flower, careful not to touch any of his long finger.”
― Sara Wolf, Lovely Vicious

“Listen to me carefully, sweet girl. Don’t live any other way than the way that makes you happy. If you aren’t happy, leave your lover. If you aren’t happy, quit the job. If you aren’t happy, do more to make yourself happy. Because you are the only one who can make yourself happy.”
― Sara Wolf, Brutal Precious

“I will pull your pancreas out through your nose and feed it back to you in a drip inserted into your anus is that clear?”
― Sara Wolf, Lovely Vicious

“She was probably a trusting, naïve girl before him, like a daisy. And then he came, and pulled her petals off one by one, forcing her to surround herself with thorns to survive.”
― Sara Wolf, Lovely Vicious

“Sometimes people need to be messed up. It reminds them life is short.”
― Sara Wolf, Savage Delight

“Anyway, I like you but you're ruining my life. Bye.”
― Sara Wolf, Brutal Precious

“Pain is bearable only when you know with absolute certainty it'll end quickly.”
― Sara Wolf, Bring Me Their Hearts

“- and I’d be honored to try marriage with you - ”

Jack smiles.

“- you big stupid idiot.”
― Sara Wolf, Brutal Precious

“I’m all about that shit.”
Mom shoots me the Disapproving-Mom-Subtle-Lip-Frown.
“I’m all about that poop,” I correct delicately.”
― Sara Wolf, Lovely Vicious

“Jack doesn’t give a jackshit about me. No, wait, I got that backwards. I don’t give a jackshit about Jack the Shit.”
― Sara Wolf, Savage Delight

“You’re seventeen! Why do I have to keep reminding you of that? There are soooo many women you haven’t even met yet! Don’t act like you’re tired of the puss-puss, no guy is ever tired of the puss-puss.”
― Sara Wolf, Lovely Vicious

“It's not a question of whether or not the apple falls far from the tree, because of course it doesn't." Her eyes fix in the distance. "It's whether or not the apple can grow taller than the tree.”
― Sara Wolf, Bring Me Their Hearts

“Yes, my style sucks. But at least I didn't bowl half a game with a nacho stuck to my ass.”
― Sara Wolf, Lovely Vicious