Dan Ryckert > Quotes

“The fog tried to remember something from its fog childhood, but the memory was...foggy.”
― Dan Ryckert, Former Baseball Player Sucks At Crowdfunding: A Time Travel Adventure

“With one deliberate motion, the alligator separated Osama bin Laden’s small penis from his body and threw it against the wall of the compound. It splattered against the wall like it was a soft tomato.”
― Dan Ryckert, Air Force Gator

“Barry took his sunglasses off and peeled back what was revealed as a fake mustache, raising his finger to his lips in an effort to keep his identity a secret. It was President Barack Obama.               Air”
― Dan Ryckert, Air Force Gator 2: Scales of Justice

“Behind him stood one of the men that frequently mocked his salute, but Air Force Gator thought of nothing but Grandpa as he stood in front of the grave. A small tear rolled down Air Force Gator’s scaly face as he slowly raised his tiny little alligator arm. It didn’t reach his forehead. It didn’t even reach his chin. It didn’t matter. Grandpa would have understood.”
― Dan Ryckert, Air Force Gator

“It’ll be a bullet, a bomb, or maybe I’ll just eat the butthead,” Gator said.”
― Dan Ryckert, Air Force Gator

“What are we looking at here, General? A chemical agent?” asked Backlund. “Of sorts. Based on this imagery, we believe it’s a compound that hasn’t yet been utilized in combat. In tests, it greatly accelerates the mental capacity and physical strength of reptiles. While it’s not the scientific nomenclature for the liquid, it’s been referred to as ‘GatorAid’ in some circles.”
― Dan Ryckert, Air Force Gator