Barbie Bohrman > Quotes

“You blew it, Katy. All this time, you’ve been blowing it. you never picked up your head long enough to see that I’ve been here waiting for you…wanting you.”
― Barbie Bohrman, Something More Than This

“He’s that senior offensive lineman I told you about who’s coming off the injured reserve list. Anyway, Coach is concerned that he won’t be ready to play at full--”
Mimi drops her head on the bar and starts to snore out loud. Very loud. So loud that a couple of patrons stop and stare at us.
“Mimi,” I say in a low voice, “what the hell?”
She pops her head back up and rubs her eyes as if she just woke up from a catnap. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry, Katy. I was just so bored I fell right to sleep while you were talking about sports. Again. For like the millionth time.”
― Barbie Bohrman, Something More Than This

“That settled, I wipe my eyes with the edges of my comforter and smile weakly to myself in the darkness when one of my favorite movie quotes comes to mind. "Tomorrow is another day." You're goddamn right it is, Scarlett”
― Barbie Bohrman, Promise Me

“Tell me about last night so I can live vicariously through you for a minute before I go back to watching reruns of Buffy." "Oh, what episode are you on right now?" I ask way too excited for the change in conversation. Her irate tone snaps me back to reality. "Sabrina, focus! Fuck, Buffy, Angel, and may God forgive me, Spike! Tell me what happened. And don't you dare hold out on me.”
― Barbie Bohrman, Promise Me

“All I see is you… All I’ve ever seen is you from the moment you walked through my door and into my life.”
― Barbie Bohrman, Something More Than This

“I still hadn’t boarded the elevator. It was as if my feet were glued to the floor. There was already a tension in the air between us. It felt electric and dangerous. And for a moment I thought I might choose to take the stairs. He was very tempting; I’d give him that.
“Are you getting on?”
“Aren’t you getting off?” I asked.
Max tilted his head to the side and smirked at me. “If you get on this thing, probably.”
“You’re disgusting.” I rolled my eyes at his cock-sure response even though a part of me found his arrogance more than slightly amusing. Boarding the elevator, I decided to stand as far away as I would from Max. “Whatever, I’m going down.”
“That’s what she said.”
― Barbie Bohrman, The Better Man

“I feel like I was being sucked into something bigger than the both of us. As if a fucking tractor beam was grabbing hold of every single fiber of my being and dragging me further and further down the rabbit hole that was Daphne. And I fucking loved it.”
― Barbie Bohrman, The Better Man

“You don’t have to like me, I’m not a Facebook status.”
“I know. And I still don’t like you, but--”
“Good, I don’t like you either, so here’s what we’re going to do.”
“I was in the middle of talking, Max. That’s just being rude and---”
“As I was saying, we’re going to go over there … We’re going to film a segment. I’m going to do all the talking and you’re going to stand there and look pretty until I tell you to talk. Okay? Okay. Glad we got that all figured out.”
― Barbie Bohrman, The Better Man

“Don’t get me wrong, being rich was fucking awesome. If anyone tells you being rich isn’t awesome then they’re not doing the whole being rich thing right.”
― Barbie Bohrman, The Better Man

“I was blessed with the looks of a fucking Adonis, so yeah, men usually hated me anyway. I paid their bullshit complaints little to no attention at all. Let me put it this way, if I had a nickel for every single time some guy was jealous of me, I’d be rich.
Oh, wait! I am rich. So, fuck them.”
― Barbie Bohrman, The Better Man

“Was he nice to look at?
Oh my God, yes! A million times, yes!
But as soon as he opened his mouth, his doucheness just poured right out of him. it was like he couldn’t help himself. Almost sad really.”
― Barbie Bohrman, The Better Man

“People like you are the reason God doesn’t talk to us anymore. So thanks for that.”
“Geez, I was just joking around, Max,” he said.
“Did I hurt your feelings?”
“A little bit, yes.”
“Then you might want to get a colonoscopy for all that butthurt because I don’t give a shit.”
― Barbie Bohrman, The Better Man

“When you find the one you’re supposed to be with, you know it with every fiber in your being. You feel it in your bones that they are your person…and you are theirs.”
― Barbie Bohrman, The Better Man

“Typically, “letting my hair down” meant that I would sit in front of the television and binge-watch HGTV for hours at a time. Many a weekend since the divorce had been spent this way. My obsession with Chip and Joanna Gaines had reached epic proportions by now. To the point that I seriously contemplated moving to Waco, Tx before settling on New York.”
― Barbie Bohrman, The Best Man

“If he’s anything like the other guys she’s brought home to meet us, I give it another week.”
“Do you remember that one who wouldn’t drink anything all night, even with his food? I mean who doesn’t want even a little sip of water to clear their palate during a meal?”
“I remember that one,” my dad says. “How about the one who kept going to the bathroom every five minutes? He must have had a serious drug habit.”
“He didn’t have a drug habit, Dad.”
“Oh, so he had the shits then? I’m not sure that’s any better, Julia.”
― Barbie Bohrman, Playing It Safe

“Somewhere that would not require me to wear much clothing and was peaceful and quiet all day and night. No cell phones, no TV . . . well, maybe some sort of TV, but for the most part a complete disconnect from everybody for a whole week.”
― Barbie Bohrman, Playing It Safe

“Since when did I have…Jesus, I could barely bring myself to think it. Since when did I have feelings?
Or a conscience, I guess it what it’s called too. I’m not sure because I’ve never fucking had one before when it came to a woman.”
― Barbie Bohrman, The Best Man

“Let’s be honest, folks, there was no way I was going to find a woman in a bar, defile her to the verge of utter filth, and then all of a sudden be overcome with the urge to want to marry her and make babies. It was never going to happen.”
― Barbie Bohrman, The Best Man

“Life is all about the moments that make up the big picture. Sometimes those moments can be as big and vast as a clear blue sky on a bright, sunny day. And sometimes those moments can be so tiny and unremarkable that they slip through your fingers before you realize they will come to mean something to you greater than you ever imagined.”
― Barbie Bohrman, Starting Over

“I feel it in his touch, his eyes, his words, and most importantly his actions. Because a guy can say just about anything, but it’s what he actually does that proves he means those words.”
― Barbie Bohrman, Playing It Safe

“I swore that night ... that I wouldn’t let you just walk out of my life again. I was prepared to be your friend no matter what, Veronica. But the rest of it, it was there all along. It was waiting for us to meet in another time, another place…and here we are.”
― Barbie Bohrman, The Best Man

“I did experiment once in college but quickly realized that it wasn’t for me.
Oh, please. Like you didn’t make out with your sorority sister while she felt you up to make a guy all hot and bothered. I’m probably in the minority on that one. Then again, I was feeling no pain after playing a few rounds of beer pong and thought it was the actual guy and not my sorority sister. So I don’t think that really qualifies as experimenting. I suck even with the ladies.”
― Barbie Bohrman, Playing It Safe

“I’ve heard that half the battle was admitting when you had a problem. So here I was admitting that I had a problem, and it was this: I was in over my head with Veronica.
But I’d be damned if I was going to stop.”
― Barbie Bohrman, The Best Man

“You’re mine, Veronica…and I’m yours.”
― Barbie Bohrman, The Best Man

“This isn’t finished— you and I, it’s going to happen, Julia. You can make all the excuses you like and try to convince yourself that this isn’t a good idea, but if the last five minutes are any indication, it would be the best fucking decision we’ve ever made.”
― Barbie Bohrman, Playing It Safe

“When it got to the part in the song where the guy had promised to love her until he was dead but he was in fact very much alive – spoiler alert – I could swear that the few men in the place cupped their balls for fear they would be cut off by an angry mob of women.”
― Barbie Bohrman, The Best Man

“Let’s be honest, no woman liked to swallow come. It was just a falsehood that pornos taught you.
You had to unlearn that shit.
Don’t get me wrong, there was the occasional woman who did it without complaint. But there was no way that shit tasted good. Nope, wasn’t buying it.”
― Barbie Bohrman, The Best Man

“All I see is you. All I want is you. All I need is you.”
― Barbie Bohrman, The Best Man

“breath; she”
― Barbie Bohrman, Promise Me

“of my body’s movements.”
― Barbie Bohrman, Playing It Safe