Nicole Castle > Quotes

“How could I not be in love with a man who folded something after strangling me with it?”
― Nicole Castle, Chance Assassin: A Story of Love, Luck, and Murder

“Frank took my hand and pressed it to his lips. Considering that my knuckles were bruised from punching him in the face, it should’ve come with the romantic gesture of the year award. Or a restraining order.”
― Nicole Castle, Chance Assassin: A Story of Love, Luck, and Murder

“There was never a dull moment with Frank. Things you’d think would piss him off, like shooting him, he was happy about. But if you happen to order him a croissant at a diner because his stomach growled all during the morning’s blowjob, he gets all bent out of shape about it, as if you’ve alerted the entire country that he’s a foreigner, and then he refuses to fuck you in the men’s room after your meal.”
― Nicole Castle, Chance Assassin: A Story of Love, Luck, and Murder

“It took all my concentration not to get an erection now that he was being mean to me again. He was really fucking sexy when he was hostile.”
― Nicole Castle, Chance Assassin: A Story of Love, Luck, and Murder

“I loved being in Frank’s arms. It felt special, being that the only other people he ever picked up were dead.”
― Nicole Castle, Chance Assassin: A Story of Love, Luck, and Murder

“He admitted to me that seeing a person die was one of the most incredible experiences he’d ever had. It made him feel human, watching the life leave their eyes. I tried to tell him that fucking me would make him feel like God, but he didn’t buy it.”
― Nicole Castle, Chance Assassin: A Story of Love, Luck, and Murder

“He flicked his cigarette at me. Luckily, I was still wet, and it was mostly extinguished upon contact. I sat on his lap and lit another one for him. It’s the little things in life.”
― Nicole Castle, Chance Assassin: A Story of Love, Luck, and Murder

“Are you having a midlife crisis?”

“You’ll be having an end of life crisis if you say that again,” he threatened.”
― Nicole Castle, Chance Assassin: A Story of Love, Luck, and Murder

“I laughed, harder than I'd laughed in a long time. "You have got to be kidding," I said, watching the hope vanish from his face. "I'm the one you ought to be scared of. I killed my fucking goldfish.”
― Nicole Castle, Chance Assassin: A Story of Love, Luck, and Murder

“We were prime examples of the age old debate: nature versus nurture. I’d been brought up around muscle cars and crescent wrenches, and he’d been surrounded by neon lights and stilettos. In all likelihood, I should’ve been straight as an arrow, and Frank would’ve ended up as a showgirl. Yet, he was the top, if only in bed. We both knew who wore the pants in the relationship, even though they were big on me because they were his.”
― Nicole Castle, Chance Assassin: A Story of Love, Luck, and Murder

“The fact that picking out china patterns was pretty gay didn’t bother me, since we were picking them out to shoot them. Frank chose the design. Ivory white with solid black borders and real gold edging. Fucking expensive. He made me pay.”
― Nicole Castle, Chance Assassin: A Story of Love, Luck, and Murder

“The blade gleamed in his hand, making my knees go so weak that I had to hold onto the car. Even watching him use a butter knife on an unsuspecting piece of toast was enough to make my whole body burn, inciting an erection under the table that would last long past dessert.”
― Nicole Castle, Chance Assassin: A Story of Love, Luck, and Murder

“Here I was, telling him a heartwarming story about my first and only pet, a goldfish that died the day after I won it with a well-placed ping-pong ball at the County Fair, and he had a still-breathing corpse in the trunk.”
― Nicole Castle, Chance Assassin: A Story of Love, Luck, and Murder

“His face was badly bruised and swollen and altogether painful looking, but it really brought out his eyes.”
― Nicole Castle, Chance Assassin: A Story of Love, Luck, and Murder

“Luckily for me, he knew my limits better than I did. If I looked like I needed it, he’d forget to wake me when I conked out, or he’d purposefully incapacitate me during our hand to hand combat, so I’d have no choice but to take the night off. We didn’t have a safety word. I trusted him to know my breaking point, and never pass it.”
― Nicole Castle, Chance Assassin: A Story of Love, Luck, and Murder

“I moved away from him, sitting back on my heels and raising my aim to his heart. “Happy anniversary, Frank.”

In a flash, he had my gun away from me and I was flat on the floor with his boot against my throat. “You point a gun at me again, I will break your neck.”
― Nicole Castle, Chance Assassin: A Story of Love, Luck, and Murder

“Fucking me hadn't converted out relationship status from non-friends, but at least he hesitated now before being mean to me.”
― Nicole Castle, Chance Assassin: A Story of Love, Luck, and Murder

“Frank was by far the best kisser I'd ever had the pleasure to make out with. Being able to wrap his tongue around so many languages couldn't have hurt his skill of wrapping his tongue around mine. It felt like he controlled my whole body when he kissed me, his hands on my face, his fingers reaching the back of my head as we tried to consume each other, like only one of us could come out alive at the end. And his mouth tasted more like the sweet aroma of coffee than the bitter flavor.”
― Nicole Castle, Chance Assassin: A Story of Love, Luck, and Murder

“Was that all right?" he asked, and all the helplessness I'd ever seen in him, that distant expression when he was making us disappear, or when I'd called him sick in the head, none of it compared to how exposed he was to me now. It wouldn't have taken a month of assassin training to kill him. I could've done it with one word.
I lightly touched his face. It was rough under my hand, a five o'clock shadow at noon. "That was perfect.”
― Nicole Castle, Chance Assassin: A Story of Love, Luck, and Murder

“I love you, Vincent. That goes beyond trust.”
― Nicole Castle, Chance Assassin: A Story of Love, Luck, and Murder

“At seventeen years old, masturbation was unfamiliar to me, but I knew the fell of a wedding ring against my cock. I couldn't count how many dicks I'd sucked, but the number of mouths to touch mine wouldn't fill one hand.”
― Nicole Castle, Chance Assassin: A Story of Love, Luck, and Murder

“I was his fire, one look boiling his blood and turning him from a man who'd blush at a dirty word to one who'd make me feel like a virgin again, shying away from the scandalous things he whispered in my ear while he made me lick my come off his fingers.”
― Nicole Castle, Chance Assassin: A Story of Love, Luck, and Murder

“I thought seeing him naked was the highlight of my life. That suit was better than sex.”
― Nicole Castle, Chance Assassin: A Story of Love, Luck, and Murder

“Watching him snap someone's neck as easily as lighting a cigarette made me dizzy with desire for him. And when he stabbed someone I could barely see straight until we'd made a successful getaway, and he'd trace a blade across my skin, making me come. I'd received more scars from acts of lovemaking than I had from my whole childhood, and I wasn't even eighteen yet.”
― Nicole Castle, Chance Assassin: A Story of Love, Luck, and Murder

“It was true, I had a big mouth, and more than once I'd made things worse for myself by neglecting to shut the fuck up. I'd even considered that he might've been right, that maybe if I just behaved I wouldn't have gotten hit. But no one asks for rape, especially not when they're sleeping. Or at least if I did ask him to rape me in my sleep, I didn't mean it.”
― Nicole Castle, Chance Assassin: A Story of Love, Luck, and Murder

“His cheek touched mine as he spoke, his five o'clock shadow brushing lightly against my ear. I gripped the leathers seat below me, holding on desperately as though I'd melt to a puddle on the floor mats if I let go. He being completely ignorant to his effect on me only made it worse. There was a virginal purity about him that made me want to get him dirty.”
― Nicole Castle, Chance Assassin: A Story of Love, Luck, and Murder

“I'd say that if she touched his cock I'd kill her, but then, I'd kill her anyway.”
― Nicole Castle, Chance Assassin: A Story of Love, Luck, and Murder

“It took him sixty-eight seconds to notice you," he said, glancing at his watch. "Would you say that's about average?"
Here I was doing my best not to suck every cock I met, and he hat to go and point a spotlight at it. "I guess," I said, feeling self-conscious.”
― Nicole Castle, Chance Assassin: A Story of Love, Luck, and Murder

“That was what made Vincent so perfect. His raison d'être. He was feminine to the point of being non-threatening, and masculine enough to prove Frank was homosexual after all. Not to mention obscenely beautiful.”
― Nicole Castle, Les Recidivists

“I still couldn't believe that he was actually mine; an international super assassin in love with an emotionally unbalanced kid from Podunk, Illinois. Adn I was his.”
― Nicole Castle, Chance Assassin: A Story of Love, Luck, and Murder