Joan Anderson > Quotes

“too often I’ve used up precious time preparing for experiences rather than just having them.”
― Joan Anderson, A Year by the Sea: Thoughts of an Unfinished Woman

“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answers. —Rainer Maria Rilke, LETTER TO A YOUNG POET T”
― Joan Anderson, A Year by the Sea: Thoughts of an Unfinished Woman

“Why am I more cautious as I age instead of the other way around? I wonder if it’s all tied in to failure. I tend to forget my gains and remember only the losses. The failures have piled up, wreaking havoc with my confidence until, as an adult, I’ve become afraid to take chances.”
― Joan Anderson, A Year by the Sea: Thoughts of an Unfinished Woman

“Woman must come of age by herself. She must find her true center alone. —Anne Morrow Lindbergh,”
― Joan Anderson, A Year by the Sea: Thoughts of an Unfinished Woman

“It occurs to me that being in the fog does not have to mean being altogether lost.”
― Joan Anderson, A Year by the Sea: Thoughts of an Unfinished Woman

“Traveling is not just seeing the new; it is also leaving behind. Not just opening doors; also closing them, never to return. But the place you have left forever is always there for you to see, whenever you shut your eyes.”
― Joan Anderson, The Second Journey: The Road Back to Yourself

“When one is freshly informed, has a serendipitous experience, one’s mood is changed, one’s heart is changed. That is why taking time to see, hear, be present to images and language that arise from new experiences have the power to change one from one way to another. —Clarissa Pinkola Estés, WOMEN WHO RUN WITH THE WOLVES I”
― Joan Anderson, A Year by the Sea: Thoughts of an Unfinished Woman

“I’ve come to see that personal changes of any sort, big or small, can put our bodies and spirits in a state of shock. Left unprocessed, this shock sets down roots that wrap themselves around our souls and inevitably leave us with the ache.”
― Joan Anderson, A Weekend to Change Your Life: Find Your Authentic Self After a Lifetime of Being All Things to All People

“Retreat is a form of pause—it is a time apart in solitude, a precious space in which we can see our world in a different light—acknowledge the grief, celebrate the gifts, and honor our own unique spirit without worrying about how others see us or what jobs still have to be done. For me, retreat is a time to endure suspense; find, not seek; relish what comes by chance; repair body and soul; wait patiently; and live into the questions. It is a time to get acquainted with silence—that friend we’ve kept at a distance; a time to be open to the spaciousness of a day; a time to live on the other side, in another world, where spirit, deep thought, and a new kind of wonder can flourish. Above all, retreat is a time to honor all that we have experienced and the way it affects our hearts. Webster’s dictionary defines “retreat” as the “act or process of withdrawal . . . a receding from a position” to a place that affords peace, privacy, and security. But I prefer Jennifer Louden’s assertion that retreat is “an act of self-nurturing, a radical leap into the hallowed halls of selfhood.”
― Joan Anderson, A Weekend to Change Your Life: Find Your Authentic Self After a Lifetime of Being All Things to All People

“Sitting here alone is satisfying enough, but the night would be far better if shared with another—with someone whose mood meets mine, who relishes moments, whose wonder remains untainted, who appreciates simple things and says so, who laughs much, indulges heartily, is spontaneous in spirit, is quick to embrace, and sees joy as a duty! Oh,”
― Joan Anderson, A Year by the Sea: Thoughts of an Unfinished Woman

“When we are stuck, choice is threatening because it implies change.”
― Joan Anderson, A Weekend to Change Your Life: Find Your Authentic Self After a Lifetime of Being All Things to All People

“I have learned to pay attention to my instincts and take notice when I feel anxious—to remove the pebble from my shoe before it blisters, get the chicken bone out of my throat—in short, to be mindful of feelings and emotions and work with them, not run from them.”
― Joan Anderson, A Year by the Sea: Thoughts of an Unfinished Woman

“And so,” I say, “I wish for all of you that you remain as unfinished as the shoreline along the beach and that you continue to transcend yourselves again and again.”
― Joan Anderson, A Walk on the Beach: Tales of Wisdom From an Unconventional Woman

“Someone asked Robert Frost toward the end of his life if he had hope for the future; I was so taken by his answer that I memorized it: “Yes,” he replied, “and even for the past . . . that it will turn out to have been all right for what it was—something I can accept—mistakes made by the self I had to be or was not able to be.”
― Joan Anderson, The Second Journey: The Road Back to Yourself

“I think it was Picasso who said he spent the first half of his life becoming an adult and the last half learning to be a child.”
― Joan Anderson, A Year by the Sea: Thoughts of an Unfinished Woman

“They are searching for purpose, to dream again, to be present in their lives, to regain their confidence. Some just want to have fun, to escape tedious routine, to break out of their ruts.”
― Joan Anderson, A Weekend to Change Your Life: Find Your Authentic Self After a Lifetime of Being All Things to All People

“giving him a tide clock instead of the proverbial watch men are so often given at retirement. We”
― Joan Anderson, A Year by the Sea: Thoughts of an Unfinished Woman

“I sing along, uplifted by the words, reminded of the way my favorite minister taught me how to pray, or rather, yield my thoughts: “Offer praise first,” she said, “then thanksgiving. Follow it with petition, asking for your need to be met, and then conclude by relinquishing control.” I find that once I do the first part, the reason for my prayer usually diminishes.”
― Joan Anderson, A Year by the Sea: Thoughts of an Unfinished Woman

“We need not spend another moment being strangers in our skin.”
― Joan Anderson, A Weekend to Change Your Life: Find Your Authentic Self After a Lifetime of Being All Things to All People

“We knew better than to ask when they would return. They would simply be away until the grief they felt had been processed and the mourning concluded. Shakespeare, too, knew the logic of this when he said: “He who lacks time to mourn, lacks time to mend.” And yet our culture tells us to cut our losses—say goodbye to the old and get on with the new as quickly as possible—no use crying over spilt milk—what’s done is done. How wonderfully efficient and productive all this sounds!”
― Joan Anderson, A Weekend to Change Your Life: Find Your Authentic Self After a Lifetime of Being All Things to All People

“Real connection seems to happen that way—two like-minded souls meet and sniff around one another like puppy dogs, then whoosh, a moment of fission occurs, pleasantries are dropped, closely twined feelings surface, and a relationship is born.”
― Joan Anderson, A Year by the Sea: Thoughts of an Unfinished Woman

“Today’s adventure taught me how simple it is to be involved and uplifted by nothing more complicated than the unexpected.”
― Joan Anderson, A Year by the Sea: Thoughts of an Unfinished Woman

“Good things seem just to happen along. The state of feeling satisfied occurs most often when I haven’t sought it.”
― Joan Anderson, A Year by the Sea: Thoughts of an Unfinished Woman

“I steady my nerves, knowing the moment of high tide is just that, a brief time that will always reverse itself and diminish.”
― Joan Anderson, A Year by the Sea: Thoughts of an Unfinished Woman

“We cannot write in water … we cannot carve in water. Water’s nature is to flow and that is how we should treat life … emotion, negative or positive. Do not deny it but always let it flow through and then away. —Anonymous D”
― Joan Anderson, A Year by the Sea: Thoughts of an Unfinished Woman

“I tune the radio to a classical station playing Vivaldi’s Four Seasons, music I used to run to, a good omen, as I am running to a new life. I once heard that Olympic coaches play baroque music in the locker room before big meets to quell their athletes’ anxiety. I take a deep breath and wish for such a calm to overtake me. Still,”
― Joan Anderson, A Year by the Sea: Thoughts of an Unfinished Woman

“But I wasn’t prepared to handle the power shift, or my brand-new role as bit player. So I took to retreating to the bedroom to hide my awkwardness. I had learned long ago that the Chinese character for “conflict” is two women under the same roof, and regardless of my own discomfort, I was determined to have none of that.”
― Joan Anderson, A Weekend to Change Your Life: Find Your Authentic Self After a Lifetime of Being All Things to All People

“emotion. “You must go through some things crying all the way if you’re ever going to live with them without crying.” “What was that?” she asks, suddenly straightening up her body. “A quote from Howard Thurman. It makes sense, doesn’t it?”
― Joan Anderson, A Walk on the Beach: Tales of Wisdom From an Unconventional Woman

“As a young bride I sent my parents letters filled with lies, wanting to convince not only them, but myself, that I was happy. It occurs to me that I will continue to know my children less if they think I want them to be more. Seeking perfection is a terrible thing when it robs you of truth. I wonder if role-playing and being careful are the chief causes of loneliness.”
― Joan Anderson, A Year by the Sea: Thoughts of an Unfinished Woman

“All I knew for sure was that I was tired and empty.”
― Joan Anderson, A Weekend to Change Your Life: Find Your Authentic Self After a Lifetime of Being All Things to All People