Scott Meyer > Quotes

“He had spent a lot of time thinking about himself, and had come to the conclusion that he was definitely not self-absorbed.”
― Scott Meyer, Off to Be the Wizard

“I find that stubbornness often beats intelligence eventually. Stubbornness will beat anything eventually. That’s the whole point of stubbornness.”
― Scott Meyer, Spell or High Water

“Hypocrisy is the resin that holds the plywood of society together.”
― Scott Meyer, Help Is on the Way: A Collection of Basic Instructions

“You know, the less you talk, the more people assume that what you’re not saying is important.”
― Scott Meyer, Off to Be the Wizard

“You see, faith doesn’t have to make sense. If it did, it wouldn’t be faith, it would be logic.”
― Scott Meyer, Off to Be the Wizard

“For a smart person to argue with a dumb person, they have to dumb down their logic on the fly, while the dumb person thinks in dumb logic naturally, giving them an advantage.”
― Scott Meyer, Spell or High Water

“All of the worst books I ever read were published,”
― Scott Meyer, An Unwelcome Quest

“It’s amazing how quickly we get used to weirdness when it’s our own weirdness.”
― Scott Meyer, Off to Be the Wizard

“One voice at the back said something about her weighing the same as a duck, but nobody was in the mood.”
― Scott Meyer, Off to Be the Wizard

“They couldn’t prove themselves right, so they channeled their energies into proving the other side wrong.”
― Scott Meyer, Off to Be the Wizard

“He tried to come up with a word that meant “witch,” that didn’t have any insulting or demeaning overtones. He couldn’t. In fact, after some thought, he couldn’t think of a word that meant female that men hadn’t imbued with some belittling shade of meaning. Finally, after a much longer silence than he had intended, he simply said, “I can understand why.”
― Scott Meyer, Off to Be the Wizard

“The advantage that religion has over magic or science is that man’s inability to understand is built into the system, so if an explanation is confusing or unsatisfying, it strengthens the point.”
― Scott Meyer, Off to Be the Wizard

“Saying you were going to be something isn’t the same as being that thing.”
― Scott Meyer, An Unwelcome Quest

“Everything’s senseless until someone makes sense of it. Life doesn’t explain itself.”
― Scott Meyer, Spell or High Water

“Martin said, “A mixed metaphor is like a beautiful woman.” “How so?” “They can both make a guy look stupid.”
― Scott Meyer, Spell or High Water

“If I use it, and you know what it means, it a word.”
― Scott Meyer, Spell or High Water

“The guard was clearly puzzled and was trying to solve the puzzle by the time-honored method of frowning about it.”
― Scott Meyer, An Unwelcome Quest

“In fact, after some thought, he couldn’t think of a word that meant female that men hadn’t imbued with some belittling shade of meaning.”
― Scott Meyer, Off to Be the Wizard

“people who care will always be at the mercy of people who don’t.”
― Scott Meyer, Master of Formalities

“Gwen decided it was time to speak up. “Tell me, has any woman ever laughed when you made the obvious joke?” “No,” Sid said, “but that’s just because women don’t really have a sense of humor.” Gwen asked, “What makes you say that?” Sid said, “I tell a lot of jokes, jokes my male friends think are hilarious, but women almost never laugh.” Brit nodded, and said, “Well, we can’t argue with that. Your logic is as strong as your wit.” Sid bowed more deeply, and said, “Thank you.”
― Scott Meyer, Spell or High Water

“He noticed that the two men shared three eyebrows and three working eyes between them, but the distribution was not uniform.”
― Scott Meyer, Off to Be the Wizard

“As long as people are sure you’re doing something, they don’t worry too much about what.”
― Scott Meyer, Off to Be the Wizard

“Unfortunately, human nature dictated that anything, no matter how pleasant it is, can become hateful if you feel you must do it. Just ask anyone who’s ever entered a pie-eating contest.”
― Scott Meyer, An Unwelcome Quest

“Reality is inelegant,” Phillip huffed. “No,” Martin said definitively. “Reality is stunningly elegant. Our understanding of it is not.”
― Scott Meyer, Spell or High Water

“And what work is fit for a real man?” Phillip asked. “Look around you, and see for yourself,” Ampyx said. “Guarding things, tending to the flowers, selling clothing, serving food. Some of us cut hair.” “Manly work,” Phillip said. “Yes.” Now Martin had to make sure he was hearing things properly. “And what about building things, inventing, and running the government?” Ampyx said, “The women seem to enjoy doing those things, and they’re good at it, so we leave them to it while we tend to what’s important.”
― Scott Meyer, Spell or High Water

“The day we stop learning is the day we stop living.”
― Scott Meyer, Off to Be the Wizard

“The only bright point was when we stopped off at that fish market they got here before we went to the airport.” “Oh,” Jimmy said brightly, “the one where they throw those great big fish around?” “Yeah, that’s the one,” Agent Miller said, wearily. “How was it?” Jimmy asked. “It was a fish market. You’ve been to a fish market, haven’t you, Jimmy? It was exactly like that, only crowded, and with guys yelling and throwing around a big dead fish. Does that sound like fun, Jimmy? How they ever convinced people that that’s a tourist attraction is beyond me. It’s all a big sham. I’m pretty sure they kept throwing the same fish around no matter what anyone ordered.”
― Scott Meyer, Spell or High Water

“See, kids, back in Phil’s and my day, if you made a good movie, you took that success and made a different movie, not the same movie over again.”
― Scott Meyer, An Unwelcome Quest

“People talk about New York and Los Angeles when they discuss terrible traffic, but those people are dilettantes. Any true connoisseur of terrible traffic knows that Seattle is something special. In fact, Rutherford suspected that a big part of the reason there were so many environmentalists in Seattle was that the city itself was designed to make you hate your car.”
― Scott Meyer, The Authorities™

“Phillip had many other food choices he could produce, but a selection of specialized burritos is all the variety most men need.”
― Scott Meyer, Off to Be the Wizard