John P. Logsdon > Quotes

“There was a slight jiggle in her chest as she saluted.”
― John P. Logsdon, Vines of Ostara

“what the donkey-punching, glue-sniffing, scrotum-chewing fuck was going on here?”
― John P. Logsdon, Vines of Ostara

“Tardateers.”
― John P. Logsdon, Searing Destiny

“It’s often in the darkest recesses that we find the brightest lights.”
― John P. Logsdon, Sinister: Unrighteous

“I was running, jumping, zigging, and zagging as crossbow boy fired arrow after arrow at me.”
― John P. Logsdon, Sinister: Unhallowed

“I’d be remiss if I didn’t explain how much it hurts to be wrapped in a ball of electric joy. Imagine having your balls sliced open and dipped in lemon juice while someone holds smelling salts under your nose to ensure you can’t pass out from the pain. Now, I realize that this point of reference may not be fitting for everyone, so let’s just say that the misery radiating through my body was more intense than having a needle stuck in your taint (and everyone has a taint). But the needle doesn’t stay still. It gets twisted around this way and that as you wriggle and scream. Of course, if you’re a masochist this may actually be pleasurable for you in some odd way. But being that I’m not a masochist, the pain I was enduring was far less than enjoyable.”
― John P. Logsdon, The Merging

“Is there some hurry? It’s not like he’s going to run out of filthy stories. I heard you guys made the Human Resources representative cry the last time you ‘Replied All’ to a PPD wide email.”
― John P. Logsdon, Penang Pixie

“Try to open up and this is what I get.” She laughed even louder. “That’s what she said.”
― John P. Logsdon, Grave Creatures

“put everything away and waited for the training. I wasn’t sure what form it would take. “You see that,” Tarvor asked, pointing to a nearby bush. “That’s a fucking bush.”
― John P. Logsdon, Vines of Ostara

“put everything away and waited for the training. I wasn’t sure what form it would take. “You see that,” Tarvor asked, pointing to a nearby bush. “That’s a fucking bush.” Your Herb Lore skill has increased to”
― John P. Logsdon, Vines of Ostara

“I’d taken out Boomy, removed the mag, and set it on the table.” “Okay?” “Well, Dr. Vernon took one look at it and that’s when the inferiority stuff became her angle for the day.” “Ah, I see. You walked in, flopped your weapon on the table, she sees that its got more ridges and accents than your normal weapon, and she starts thinking that maybe you’re starting to feel that your normal weapon just isn’t good enough.”
― John P. Logsdon, Grave Creatures

“Never interrupt a woman who is about to eat dessert!”
― John P. Logsdon, Sinister: Unhallowed

“Yep,” Merle said and then turned to Cletus. “Just like I toldya, Cletus, our accents and outfits mark us as dumb. If Einstein had been from Arkansas, we’d still be relying on Newtonian physics for everything.” “Ain’t that the truth?”
― John P. Logsdon, Grave Creatures

“bondage-loving grandpa”
― John P. Logsdon, Vines of Ostara

“Frannie had seen the seemingly weakest people turn into absolute terrors when pushed too far. That’s why it was always the wise move to avoid poking the quiet ones. You never knew what kind of giant was sleeping behind the silence, and”
― John P. Logsdon, Halfcocked

“Rachel,” I said with some trepidation via a direct-connection, “I want to ask you something and I want you to be completely honest with me.” “Sounds serious,” she replied. “Go ahead.” “It is serious, so please just answer me honestly here.” She stopped walking and looked at me with a face of concern. “Okay, Ian. What is it?” “Can you hear it when my dick talks?”
― John P. Logsdon, Swarm of Fire

“The saying goes that you should keep your friends close and your enemies closer. I disagree. Keep your friends closest, so that each of you can keep the enemy squarely in the sights of your deadliest weapons.”
― John P. Logsdon, Sinister: Unrighteous

“Sowing seeds of doubt is the best first step in any combat situation. The second best is to know your escape route.”
― John P. Logsdon, Sinister: Unrighteous

“Screams echoed through my head as I watched members of House Sinister being slaughtered via the Rite of Decimation.”
― John P. Logsdon, Sinister: Unhallowed

“It is the way of men to prey upon the kindhearted. They manipulate at every turn. One merely need only look at the historical records to witness the horror that befalls those who trust.”
― John P. Logsdon, Las Vegas Paranormal Police Department: Unleashed Box Set

“It hurt so damn bad that I couldn’t even groan. Imagine having a tooth pulled by a proctologist,”
― John P. Logsdon, The Merging

“The awkward apology phase had morphed into the awkward mentioning-her-pet-name-for-my-junk moment. She cleared her throat.”
― John P. Logsdon, Grave Creatures

“What, so you can sip apple juice while your wife drinks us under the table?” Parn muttered to himself. “That sounds wonderful.”
― John P. Logsdon, Vines of Ostara

“Where you may say, “I finally got my oil changed,” Turbo would say, “The day started with a dark cloud hovering over my rumbling vehicle. The check engine light flickered multiple times, but it never stayed on full. I knew something was amiss so I drove to town, only to get caught in bumper-to-bumper traffic. Time felt like it stopped. People were honking their horns and two men had stepped out of their cars to settle a dispute regarding the right to merge at the last second. The small guy won. The cops showed up and I got to the shop thirty minutes later. They checked every aspect of my car until finally determining that I needed an oil change.” I”
― John P. Logsdon, Las Vegas Paranormal Police Department: Unleashed Box Set