Elle Field > Quotes

“Of course, dear. I knew the moment I saw you that we are meant for great things. I’m never wrong about these things, you know!”
― Elle Field, Kept

“I suspect a lot of people would dub me as immoral over naughty with my conflicted love issues, but hey! I was an economics, not an English graduate. What did I care for semantics?”
― Elle Field, Kept

“You look like you’re suffering from colour vomit.”
― Elle Field, Kept

“Piers was tall, dark and handsome – that old chestnut – and you could see he was well-defined underneath his clothes, despite his appalling taste in the clothes themselves. Still, he made appalling look appealing.”
― Elle Field, Kept

“Dead bodies. Dead bodies. Lots of them.”
― Elle Field, Kept

“Ironically, as I think this, the Tube pulls into Earl’s Court where I need to switch lines for Sloane Square. Maybe I’m destined to be an Earl’s Court girl instead?”
― Elle Field, Kept

“How can my dad, my dad of all people, know about rimming? I’m astounded, I’m mortified, and I’m everything in-between. I have to be imagining this – have sex on the brain – or maybe this is one of those twisted bad dreams you daren’t confess to anyone? I mean, there’s company present so they can’t really be talking about this can they? In fact, I’m certain now I think about it, Dad must have said riding is all the rage in the New Forest. On horses, that is. Oh. Disturbing thoughts again. Vomit.”
― Elle Field, Kept

“I’m scared, but also debating whether to try and whack her with my Chloé Paddington bag – thank goodness for the heavy padlock – and try to make a run for it in my gorgeous but impractical brown suede, five-inch Marc by Marc Jacobs boots. Luckily, I spy Obélix – lucky because my boots were made more for display purposes than running footwear. Obviously the crazy woman is wearing flat, sensible, Clarks-looking shoes in dependable black. Yuck. That’s not the point though. The point is she’d catch me in seconds and I’d probably damage my boots in the process.”
― Elle Field, Kept

“Despite my suspicions of perversion though, his voice sounded clear-cut in that certain way that makes girls melt, or maybe just me. However, this was not an appropriate time to melt; those tones were not worth me opening my tightly shut eyes to sneak a peek because a hum suggested a crowd was now forming to watch my nightmarish train wreck taking place.”
― Elle Field, Kept

“Oh, honey," I say in false tones of concern to the sheepish-looking man, sounding extraordinarily like Samantha from Sex and the City. "No one likes a spitter. You need to learn to swallow." I lick my lips lasciviously.”
― Elle Field, Kept

“Just because you girls have it drilled into you that you have to be high-powered career women, it doesn’t mean to say you have to follow that path.”
― Elle Field, Kept

“I resolutely ignored my parents’ questions about what I would do once I had that important piece of paper certifying my three years as a student hadn’t been a complete waste of money (theirs) and time (my tutors) in a manner that would have made an al- Qaeda terrorist proud. I avoided the careers service like the plague – by the looks of the falling-down and mouldy building I was saving myself from it – and I ran screaming from anyone who dared to ask the dreaded question: “What next?”
― Elle Field, Kept

“I wasn’t always spoilt and superficial though. A fuzzy image of a girl travelling economy on budget airlines swirls in my mind but I quickly dismiss it since it doesn’t correlate with the woman I have become. Without one, there would never have been the other. Funny that.”
― Elle Field, Kept

“For Mum a dinner invitation can solve any of the world’s wrongs and make them right. I mean, obviously if someone had sat down Saddam Hussein or Osama Bin Laden with my mother and her cooking then none of that Middle East malarkey would have happened. Obviously.”
― Elle Field, Kept

“It is important I act haughty and peeved like he has disturbed me from very important thoughts. These could be thoughts dreaming up a new million pound merger that will regenerate a local community and keep the shareholders happy. Significant thoughts. Haughty and peeved people get away with lots, you see. Successful people, the people who sit in First Class, act like this all the time. He should be harassing fare-dodging youngsters, too caught up with their BBMing to bother buying a ticket.
I try to forget that I used to enjoy dodging fares as a teen, and completely bypass that I’m actually as bad, if not worse, because I’m an adult who should know better. With my lax attitude to grown-up responsibilities, it’s unsurprising that I don’t.”
― Elle Field, Kept