Emerson Eggerichs > Quotes

“In your marriage, be the first to “seek peace and pursue it” (1 Peter 3:11).”
― Emerson Eggerichs, Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs

“Your husband needs you to love him, but he also needs you to like him as a friend.”
― Emerson Eggerichs, Love and Respect for a Lifetime (Gift Book): Women Absolutely Need Love. Men Absolutely Need Respect. It’s as Simple and as Complicated as That...

“YOU CAN BE RIGHT BUT WRONG AT THE TOP OF YOUR VOICE”
― Emerson Eggerichs, Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs

“When a husband feels disrespected, it is especially hard to love his wife. When a wife feels unloved, it is especially hard to respect her husband.”
― Emerson Eggerichs, Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs

“his love motivates her respect; her respect motivates his love. We”
― Emerson Eggerichs, Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs

“Unfortunately, a wife’s usual approach is to complain and criticize in order to motivate her husband to become more loving. This usually proves about as successful as trying to sell brass knuckles to Mother Teresa.”
― Emerson Eggerichs, Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs

“the husband decides he will motivate his wife to become more respectful by acting in unloving ways. This usually proves about as successful as trying to sell a pickup to an Amish farmer.”
― Emerson Eggerichs, Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs

“A Prayer of Commitment Dear Father, I need You. I cannot love or respect perfectly, but I know You hear me when I ask You for help. First, please forgive me for the times I’ve been unloving or disrespectful. And help me to forgive my spouse for being unloving or disrespectful toward me. I open my heart to You, Father. I will not be fearful or angry at You or my spouse. I’m seeing myself and my spouse in a whole new light, and I will appreciate my spouse as being different, not wrong. Lord, I also ask You to fill my heart with love and reverence for You. After all, this marriage is ultimately about You and me. It isn’t about my spouse. Thank You for helping me both understand this truth and realize that my greatest reward will come from being a spouse as unto You. Now prepare me this day for those inevitable moments of conflict. I especially ask You to put respect or love in my heart when I feel unloved or disrespected. I know there is no credit for loving or respecting when doing so is easy. Finally, I believe that You hear my prayer, and I anticipate Your response. I thank You in advance for helping me take the next loving or respectful step in my marriage. I believe You will empower me, bless me, and even reward me for my effort as I approach marriage as unto You. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.”
― Emerson Eggerichs, The Language of Love & Respect: Cracking the Communication Code with Your Mate

“Psalm 119:130: “The unfolding of Your words gives light; it gives understanding”
― Emerson Eggerichs, Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs

“One of the most popular illustrations we use in Love and Respect Conferences compares women and men to pink and blue. The audience responds immediately when I talk about how she sees through pink sunglasses and hears with pink hearing aids, while he sees through blue sunglasses and hears with blue hearing aids. In other words, women and men are very different. Yet, when blue blends with pink, it becomes purple, God’s color—the color of royalty. The way for pink and blue to blend is spelled out in Ephesians 5:33: “[Every husband] must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband” (NIV). Living out Ephesians 5:33 is the key to blending together as one to reflect the very image of God.”
― Emerson Eggerichs, The Language of Love & Respect: Cracking the Communication Code with Your Mate

“Because he is confused, he doesn’t ask the question, “Don’t you respect me?” for fear she’ll say, “No, I don’t.” That frightens him so he avoids it. As a result, she gets locked into disrespect as a way of communicating her irritation and goading him to change. But over the course of the marriage, something slowly dies between them. She wins the battles, but deep down she knows she is losing the war. WHAT”
― Emerson Eggerichs, Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs

“When God says no, He is saying, ‘Don’t hurt yourself.”
― Emerson Eggerichs, Love and Respect in the Family: The Respect Parents Desire; The Love Children Need

“Tell your spouse you are trying to make changes and THEN appeal to your spouse to understand you.”
― Emerson Eggerichs, The Language of Love & Respect: Cracking the Communication Code with Your Mate

“We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.”
― Emerson Eggerichs, Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs

“You can experience disappointment, but it is your choice to disrespect or be unloving.”
― Emerson Eggerichs, Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs

“Truth be told, the craziness in the family intensifies and worsens because of the parents’ immaturity, not the kids’ immaturity. It is not that our children cause us to be angry, but rather that their actions can reveal our hot-tempered personality.”
― Emerson Eggerichs, Love and Respect in the Family: The Respect Parents Desire; The Love Children Need

“Ephesians 5:33, Paul writes, “Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband” (NIV).”
― Emerson Eggerichs, Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs

“Here is where couples often run into trouble as they try to work out their problems, even small ones. Women confront to connect. The typical response from a man, however, is that he thinks his wife is confronting to control. If another man talked to this man like that, he would sound intentionally provocative. Is that not why some men feel their wives are picking a fight?”
― Emerson Eggerichs, Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs

“Truly, truly, I say to you, everyone who commits sin is the slave of sin. . . . if the Son makes you free, you will be free indeed” (John 8:34, 36). What”
― Emerson Eggerichs, Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs

“Few seem to have considered 1 Peter 3:1–2. The apostle Peter reveals that husbands who “are disobedient to the word” (meaning they are undeserving of respect) “may be won . . . by . . . respectful behavior.” A simple application is that a wife is to display a respectful facial expression and tone when he fails to be the man she wants. She can give her husband unconditional respect in tone and expression while confronting his unloving behavior and without endorsing his unloving reactions. He may deserve contempt, but that doesn’t win him any more than harshness and anger wins the heart of a woman.”
― Emerson Eggerichs, Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs

“Your spouse can affect you, but your spouse does not control you.”
― Emerson Eggerichs, Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs

“Feelings can be real but fickle...When we speak based on facts, not on our feelings alone, we temper and restrict our comments before hitting send...[G]ood communicators confirm their feelings with facts.”
― Emerson Eggerichs, Before You Hit Send: Preventing Headache and Heartache

“No matter how difficult your spouse may be, you cannot blame your negative reactions on your spouse.”
― Emerson Eggerichs, Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs

“It is true that often she doesn't want advice; she wants a listening ear. At the same time, however, the wise wife will realize her husband's desire to help and advise is strong. She should refrain from getting angry and humor him a bit, as one wife did by saying, "Thanks for the input. I know I am not the brightest bulb on the tree when it comes to certain things. I am glad we have each other.”
― Emerson Eggerichs

“The problem many women have today—including Christian wives —is that they want to be treated like a princess, but deep down they resist treating their husbands like the king. They aren’t willing to recognize that in the depth of his very soul a husband wants to be the one who provides and protects—he wants to be an umbrella of protection who would willingly die for his wife if need be.”
― Emerson Eggerichs, Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs

“Give so a child’s basic physical needs can be met. 2. Understand so a child is not provoked or exasperated. 3. Instruct so your child can know and apply God’s wisdom. 4. Discipline so your child can correct poor choices. 5. Encourage so your child can courageously develop God-given gifts. 6. Supplicate in prayer so your child can experience God’s touch and truth.”
― Emerson Eggerichs, Mother and Son: The Respect Effect

“Sin amor, ella reaccionará sin respeto; sin respeto, usted reaccionará sin amor.”
― Emerson Eggerichs, Amor y respeto

“You thought you were doing the honorable thing by refusing to engage her. But that isn’t going to work now. It won’t stop the craziness. I want you to hear her deeper cry and move toward her. Allow her to vent. Embrace her negativity and anger.” If”
― Emerson Eggerichs, Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs

“Ultimately, you practice love or respect because beyond your spouse you see Jesus Christ and you envision a moment when you will be standing before Him at the final judgment, realizing that your marriage was really a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and your reverence for your Lord.”
― Emerson Eggerichs, Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs

“Jesus said, “He who is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone at her” (John 8:7).”
― Emerson Eggerichs, Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs