Amy Fenton Lee > Quotes

“On their own, the leader of a church's special needs ministry can't meet every need of every volunteer or participating family. But that leader can model service in a way that caring becomes contagious.”
― Amy Fenton Lee, Leading a Special Needs Ministry

“The educational and therapeutic settings are all about achievement. But that isn't what a relationship with Jesus Christ is about. He loves us exactly as we are and He wants a relationship with us regardless of our performance.”
― Amy Fenton Lee, Leading a Special Needs Ministry

“People don't expect perfection, but they do appreciate when they see leaders who sincerely try to improve and ask for help in areas where they might be weak. You don't have to be good at everything to lead, but the best leaders are honest about where they need assistance, working to fill in those gaps, while also taking action and responsibility for areas of personal growth.”
― Amy Fenton Lee, Leading a Special Needs Ministry

“It is important that the church think outside the box, actively pursuing a relationship with the family, just as Jesus Christ pursues a relationship with each of us.”
― Amy Fenton Lee, Leading a Special Needs Ministry

“A Jesus-focused ministry gives greater weight to connection over correction, recognizing that change and spiritual growth occur in the context of meaningful relationships. The student with special needs is more like to develop a personal relationship with Jesus if no one is hung up on the deficit in interpersonal skills and instead everyone cares more about providing a positive, anxiety-free church experience.”
― Amy Fenton Lee, Leading a Special Needs Ministry

“When you nurture and prioritize relationship for the volunteers, the volunteers become the ministry's greatest recruiting tools, because they tell others.”
― Amy Fenton Lee, Leading a Special Needs Ministry

“No one has ever seen the wind. We've only experienced the effects and the results of the wind. And none of us have ever seen God. Just like the movement of a pinwheel makes us sure that the wind exists, we have ways to be sure that God exists.”
― Amy Fenton Lee, Leading a Special Needs Ministry

“In many cases, special needs ministry is a "business-to-business" ministry. The ministry exists to support other ministries and to help them successfully include the individual with special needs. When full inclusion is happening successfully, the work of the special needs ministry may be invisible to many people including the individual with special needs, much like the role of a business-to-business entity is invisible to the end customer.”
― Amy Fenton Lee, Leading a Special Needs Ministry

“When a diagnosis is still fresh, do not pressure parents to focus on the positive about the situation. Doing so suggests that the parents aren't allowed to grieve.”
― Amy Fenton Lee, Leading a Special Needs Ministry

“Parents feel a greater connection to their faith community when they observe visible ways the church makes accommodations for their child. Anticipating the individual needs of the child speaks volumes to the still-fragile family. And in cases where the parents do approach the church staff with requests or concerns, a warm response is crucial. While not every request can be fulfilled, the manner in which the concerns are received greatly influences how the family perceives the church's support. Even a small change can send a big message of love and acceptance to a hurting family.”
― Amy Fenton Lee, Leading a Special Needs Ministry

“While grief is a natural part of any special needs parent's journey, it may be processed somewhat differently for the family affected by a diagnosis with a wide range of outcomes, such as autism. Every child with or without a disability is unique. And no special-needs diagnosis affects any two children the same way.”
― Amy Fenton Lee, Leading a Special Needs Ministry

“If the parents felt they had a healthy line of communication with the children's ministry team and the church was following up in a timely manner, they tended to reflect on the setbacks less negatively. Parents were more likely to continue their involvement with the church if they perceived the children's ministry leadership was working proactively to appropriately accommodate their child.”
― Amy Fenton Lee, Leading a Special Needs Ministry

“As church leaders, our opinions on these topics aren't necessary to effectively love and support families who have children with disabilities. Encourage ministry team members and volunteers to remember the calling of the church: to enable families to develop a growing relationship with Jesus Christ.”
― Amy Fenton Lee, Leading a Special Needs Ministry

“In churches that care about special needs inclusion I have found that the single biggest determinant for a child's success is the strength of the relationship between the church and the child's parents. When church leaders and parents are in general agreement regarding a child's abilities and needs, problems tend to get solved with greater speed and ingenuity. But when parents view their child's special needs as nonexistent or insignificant, it creates extra work (and stress!) for everyone serving that child. This is the reason that it is sometimes easier for churches to successfully include children with complex needs that are obvious than it is for churches to successfully include high-functioning children whose disabilities are less obvious. When parents dismiss a child's legitimate need for even occasional assistance it makes it really hard for the child and the volunteers serving them to experience success.”
― Amy Fenton Lee, Leading a Special Needs Ministry

“We help all children learn healthy ways of relating when we create environments that reflect real life. In contrast, we re doing the child with disability as well as the typically developing peer a disservice if we aren't looking for opportunities to facilitate their interaction. And as Christians, I would add that the church is naturally set up to adopt an inclusion mindset, because we follow Jesus and know He modeled love and value for all children.”
― Amy Fenton Lee, Leading a Special Needs Ministry

“As a church, we need to be very careful about developing and expressing opinions on these topics.”
― Amy Fenton Lee, Leading a Special Needs Ministry

“By and large, the special needs ministry leader is a translator of sorts, responsible for understanding and bridging the gap between two very unique cultures: the church and the special needs community.”
― Amy Fenton Lee, Leading a Special Needs Ministry

“As a result, the success of the ministry volunteers is often every bit as important as the success of the participating kids. And the skills of the ministry leaders do impact the accommodation plans that are developed for participants with special needs.”
― Amy Fenton Lee, Leading a Special Needs Ministry

“While full inclusion inside our churches is ideal, that goal is secondary to making the gospel fully accessible. When considering the proper placement of any student of any ability, the first concern should always be positioning that individual in the setting with the culture and the teaching methods that est facilitate meaningful spiritual growth for them.”
― Amy Fenton Lee, Leading a Special Needs Ministry

“While we all need to be nudged outside our comfort zone occasionally, it is important for church leaders (and parents!) to recognize that a nudge can quickly turn into an anxiety-inducing "push" for many kids with special needs.”
― Amy Fenton Lee, Leading a Special Needs Ministry

“Few things feel as threatening to a mother as does something that jeopardizes others' love for and acceptance of her child.”
― Amy Fenton Lee, Leading a Special Needs Ministry

“When a child's needs fail to be met, undesirable behaviors may surface.”
― Amy Fenton Lee, Leading a Special Needs Ministry

“It's the church's responsibility to thoughtfully, intentionally, and respectfully engage everyone - because God loves them all. That's the gospel being lived out for all to see and experience.”
― Amy Fenton Lee, Leading a Special Needs Ministry

“To avoid misunderstandings, let's talk about how we determine the goals of ministry. We'll start at the most important place - making it all about Jesus.”
― Amy Fenton Lee, Leading a Special Needs Ministry

“It is also worth noting that the strengths (or weaknesses) of a particular group leader may factor into the placement decisions for a specific child.”
― Amy Fenton Lee, Leading a Special Needs Ministry

“When parents observe a church culture of acceptance, they are more likely to disclose their child's diagnosis.”
― Amy Fenton Lee, Leading a Special Needs Ministry

“We as the church do not want to lag behind society today, in terms of welcoming people of different cultures, races, and abilities.”
― Amy Fenton Lee, Leading a Special Needs Ministry

“Everyone wins when the "burden" mind-set is abandoned and where the special needs ministry sees itself as a blessing to those who choose to be part of their community.”
― Amy Fenton Lee, Leading a Special Needs Ministry

“If a church doesn't have the volunteers, the space, and the resources to launch a ministry with every base covered, let's not chide them for getting it wrong. Let's cheer them on for taking a step in the right direction, for meeting the immediate needs in their midst, and for expanding their accommodation to any degree, and striving to do it well.”
― Amy Fenton Lee, Leading a Special Needs Ministry

“Parents have a moral obligation to share knowledge about their child when that information could significantly benefit or protect the actual child, caregivers, other students, and the church staff.”
― Amy Fenton Lee, Leading a Special Needs Ministry