David Stoop > Quotes

“men are disturbed, not by things, but by the view they take of them.” He understood that in every situation, our responses are based on how we choose to interpret that event. And that choice creates our emotions.”
― David Stoop, You Are What You Think

“Anger prepares me to fight—to move against and push away. Fear prepares me to take flight—to move away from the threat. Both anger and fear are reactions to a threat.”
― David Stoop, You Are What You Think

“Healthy anger drives us to do something to change what makes us angry; anger can energize us to make things better. Hate does not want to change things for the better; it wants to make things worse. LEWIS B. SMEDES, FORGIVE AND FORGET: HEALING THE HURTS WE DON’T DESERVE1”
― David Stoop, Forgiving Our Parents, Forgiving Ourselves: The Definitive Guide

“Forgiving other people does not in any way benefit or let them off the hook. It allows us to cancel the debt they owe us, which in all probability they can never pay anyway. We are the ones who are freed—from the expectation of restitution for the wrongs done to us.”
― David Stoop, Forgiving the Unforgivable

“Paul endured great wear and tear on his body. Yet he did not give in to stress, for he adds that his inner nature, his mind and spirit, was being renewed every day.”
― David Stoop, You Are What You Think

“We respond in one of two ways when we are confused by our feelings and emotions. We either become overwhelmed, allowing our feelings to spill over onto those around us and draw them into a confusing drama; or we become overcontrolling, holding a tight rein on any expression of our feelings or emotions while also attempting to carefully control everything that goes on around us.”
― David Stoop, You Are What You Think

“One of the joys of forgiving is that we experience a wonderful freedom in our lives. Holding grudges keeps us focused on our pain—on ourselves. Forgiveness frees us to focus on God and on what His plan holds for us.”
― David Stoop, Forgiving Our Parents, Forgiving Ourselves: The Definitive Guide

“matters. If we focus on the facts related to an out-of-control
world, we will behave in a certain manner. If we focus on a world under the control of an all-powerful God, we will behave”
― David Stoop, You Are What You Think

“Once you realize how deeply those in your family may have hurt you, forgiving them may seem like the last thing you want to do. But, in fact, forgiveness is crucial to your spiritual and emotional health. It is the key to freedom from the pain of the past.”
― David Stoop, Forgiving Our Parents, Forgiving Ourselves: The Definitive Guide

“It is not what is occurring in our lives that affects our behavior; it is what we believe about what is occurring that matters.”
― David Stoop, You Are What You Think

“Whatever others may have done in the past, what matters is what we do today.”
― David Stoop, Forgiving Our Parents, Forgiving Ourselves: The Definitive Guide

“feelings to describe worry, guilt, anxiety, sadness, depression, happiness, joy, contentment, and so forth.”
― David Stoop, You Are What You Think

“We experience a life of contentment as we walk on the godly path, worshiping the Creator and enjoying his creation. Contentment is a state of the mind. It is a calm and satisfied feeling that is free from complaints. But it is not a natural state of mind. Our natural response to unpleasant circumstances is to covet someone else’s good fortune or to murmur and complain. Over time, these states of mind can become dominated by bitterness and resentment. These are as natural to humans as are the weeds or thorns that grow naturally in the soil. But we have to cultivate the experience of contentment. Contentment”
― David Stoop, Rethink How You Think: How to Create Lasting Change Today

“Our taking our time to forgive, and our grieving over our loss through anger and sadness, helps us understand how serious the offense was. We don’t want to take it lightly. In fact, forgiveness offered too quickly is not really forgiveness—it’s excusing. And when we excuse hurtful behavior, we invite it to continue in our lives.”
― David Stoop, Forgiving the Unforgivable

“The emotions of anger and fear are reactions to threatening situations or people. Love is the emotion of self-control, for when love is our response, we are able to act, not react, to life.”
― David Stoop, You Are What You Think

“Lots of people have all kinds of impressive credentials and have accumulated volumes of important knowledge and skills, but they have never really been able to get their lives moving in any direction. We look at them and shake our heads, thinking of all that wasted potential, and wonder why they put all that effort into “getting ready” when it appears to everyone watching that they don’t intend to ever “get started.”
― David Stoop, You Are What You Think

“Anger and fear, emotions that are opposite in direction, have been called the emotions that trigger the fight/flight syndrome. Anger prepares me to fight—to move against and push away. Fear prepares me to take flight—to move away from the threat. Both anger and fear are reactions to a threat. Interestingly, what takes place physiologically (in my body) when I am angry is identical to what happens when I am fearful. The difference is in my perception of the threat—how I see that which is threatening me.”
― David Stoop, You Are What You Think