Beatrice Chestnut > Quotes

“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In the space there is the power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. —Victor Frankl”
― Beatrice Chestnut, The Complete Enneagram: 27 Paths to Greater Self-Knowledge

“specifically and the perennial philosophy generally. Before we do the conscious work of self-development, we are the seeds of what we may become. To transform from our “acorn-self” into our “oak tree–Self,” we must traverse our underground territory—allow our defenses to crack open and break down—and consciously integrate our disowned feelings, blind spots, and Shadow traits so that we can shake off the limiting outer shell of our personality and grow into all that we are meant to be. Nature brings us part of the way, but to fully manifest our potential, we need to make conscious efforts to grow—and the Enneagram can guide us in this transformation.”
― Beatrice Chestnut, The Complete Enneagram: 27 Paths to Greater Self-Knowledge

“Being blind to parts of ourselves means that there is often a difference between the person we think we are—or the person we would like to see ourselves as—and who we really are as we walk through the world.”
― Beatrice Chestnut, The Complete Enneagram: 27 Paths to Greater Self-Knowledge

“We don’t always understand what we don’t understand and we are limited to the degree that we don’t recognize our limitations.”
― Beatrice Chestnut, The Complete Enneagram: 27 Paths to Greater Self-Knowledge

“This “waking sleep” is also the starting point for the crucial process of waking up. The ability to wake up is not only possible, but also an inherent part of being human. We fall asleep as we come into this world and acquire a personality, but the potential for conscious growth and transformation is part of our makeup. In fact, many ancient wisdom traditions say that this task of waking up to become aware of who we are represents the purpose of human life on earth.”
― Beatrice Chestnut, The Complete Enneagram: 27 Paths to Greater Self-Knowledge

“One of our deepest unconscious patterns is the false belief that we already know ourselves well enough to understand why we think, feel, and act the way we do.”
― Beatrice Chestnut, The Complete Enneagram: 27 Paths to Greater Self-Knowledge

“The Shadow represents everything we refuse to acknowledge about ourselves that nonetheless impacts the way we behave.”
― Beatrice Chestnut, The Complete Enneagram: 27 Paths to Greater Self-Knowledge

“Social Nines can look like Type Threes because they work very hard and accomplish a lot without showing the stress of it. But they differ from Threes in that they are much more reluctant to be in the spotlight and they don’t support the group to create an image or to win admiration from others. They may also be mistaken for Twos because they are active in meeting the needs of others, but they have much less need for approval and appreciation than Twos, and are generally more emotionally steady.”
― Beatrice Chestnut, The Complete Enneagram: 27 Paths to Greater Self-Knowledge

“My roommate in graduate school once observed that I never got angry. I was surprised by this at first, but then I realized it was true. To serve my main life strategy of getting along with others and avoiding any kind of problem in relationships, I had lost touch with the natural flow of my emotions and the ability to know what I needed and wanted. And, for a long time, I didn’t even know this was happening.”
― Beatrice Chestnut, The Complete Enneagram: 27 Paths to Greater Self-Knowledge

“Social Eights are more loyal, more overtly friendly, and less aggressive. They are helpful Eights—people who are nurturing, protective, and concerned with the injustices that happen to people. Male Social Eights can look like Type Nines, and female Social Eights may resemble Type Twos. However, these Eights can be distinguished from Nines and Twos because they act in more direct, powerful ways, engage more readily in conflict, and express more power and control in seeking to protect and support other people.”
― Beatrice Chestnut, The Complete Enneagram: 27 Paths to Greater Self-Knowledge

“I will argue that, in fact, we don’t; and that thinking we do know who we are is part of the problem.”
― Beatrice Chestnut, The Complete Enneagram: 27 Paths to Greater Self-Knowledge

“Our human (egoic) tendency is to want to feel good (and to avoid feeling bad) about ourselves. But without a way of recognizing, accepting, and addressing all of who we are, including the Shadow side and difficult parts of our experience, our personal growth stops and we remain asleep to our potential. The Enneagram reveals the truth of what we might see as the “good” and the “bad” parts of our habitual programming, allowing us to compassionately address the disowned and “fixated” (stuck) parts of our personalities and to embrace ourselves as we truly are.”
― Beatrice Chestnut, The Complete Enneagram: 27 Paths to Greater Self-Knowledge

“The practice of self-observation consists of putting your attention on your thoughts, feelings, and actions in the present moment and bringing your focus back over and over again from wherever it inevitably wanders. Studying your own thinking, feeling, or doing in the present moment without judgment becomes your chosen “object of attention,” rather than allowing your mind to continue being preoccupied with its usual reactive, habitual patterns. This mindfulness activity is an exercise in becoming more conscious to what is going on inside you and remembering to be more purposeful in tuning in to yourself more often. As with repetition in physical exercise, the “attentional muscle” strengthens through a consistent effort to notice where your attention goes and then shift it back to a focus you have chosen consciously.”
― Beatrice Chestnut, The Complete Enneagram: 27 Paths to Greater Self-Knowledge

“Delusional thinking, obviously, the other acorns concluded, but one of them continued to engage him in conversation: “So tell us, how would we become that tree?” “Well,” he said, pointing downward, “it has something to do with going into the ground …and cracking open the shell.”   “Insane,” they responded. “Totally morbid! Why, then we wouldn’t be acorns anymore.”3   This “acornology” story spells out our human situation according to the wisdom tradition behind the Enneagram”
― Beatrice Chestnut, The Complete Enneagram: 27 Paths to Greater Self-Knowledge

“Ironically, they must learn not to improve, but rather to “get worse” by accepting the risk (or the reality) of being “bad” or “wrong”—starting with small things.”
― Beatrice Chestnut, The Enneagram Guide to Waking Up: Find Your Path, Face Your Shadow, Discover Your True Self

“Once upon a time, in a not-so-far-away land, there was a kingdom of acorns, nestled at the foot of a grand old oak tree. Since the citizens of this kingdom were modern, fully Westernized acorns, they went about their business with purposeful energy; and since they were midlife, baby-boomer acorns, they engaged in a lot of self-help courses. There were seminars called “Getting All You Can out of Your Shell.” There were woundedness and recovery groups for acorns who had been bruised in their original fall from the tree. There were spas for oiling and polishing those shells and various acornopathic therapies to enhance longevity and well-being. One day in the midst of this kingdom there suddenly appeared a knotty little stranger, apparently dropped “out of the blue” by a passing bird. He was capless and dirty, making an immediate negative impression on his fellow acorns. And crouched beneath the oak tree, he stammered out a wild tale. Pointing upward at the tree, he said, “We… are… that!” Delusional thinking, obviously, the other acorns concluded, but one of them continued to engage him in conversation: “So tell us, how would we become that tree?” “Well,” he said, pointing downward, “it has something to do with going into the ground …and cracking open the shell.” “Insane,” they responded. “Totally morbid! Why, then we wouldn’t be acorns anymore.” 3”
― Beatrice Chestnut, The Complete Enneagram: 27 Paths to Greater Self-Knowledge

“The faculty of voluntarily bringing back a wandering attention, over and over again, is the very root of judgment, character, and will. No one is compos sui [master of himself] if he have it not. An education which should improve this faculty would be the education par excellence. —William James, Principles of Psychology Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In the space there is the power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. —Victor Frankl”
― Beatrice Chestnut, The Complete Enneagram: 27 Paths to Greater Self-Knowledge

“The Enneagram is a complex and meaningful symbol that relates to many different systems of knowledge, including psychology, cosmology, and mathematics. It forms the basis of a highly accurate typology that describes nine distinct personality types and serves as a sense-making framework for understanding the human ego and mapping out a process of growth. As a psychological and spiritual model that lays out specific paths of self-development, it helps us “wake up” to ourselves by revealing the habitual patterns and blind spots that limit our growth and transformation.”
― Beatrice Chestnut, The Enneagram Guide to Waking Up: Find Your Path, Face Your Shadow, Discover Your True Self

“When I was thirty, I discovered the work of Ken Wilber and found myself ease into a sense of clarity and peace because everything finally”
― Beatrice Chestnut, The Complete Enneagram: 27 Paths to Greater Self-Knowledge

“People will do anything, no matter how absurd, in order to avoid facing their own soul.” —C. G. Jung”
― Beatrice Chestnut, The Enneagram Guide to Waking Up: Find Your Path, Face Your Shadow, Discover Your True Self

“At the core of all anger is a need that is not being fulfilled.” —Marshall Rosenberg”
― Beatrice Chestnut, The Enneagram Guide to Waking Up: Find Your Path, Face Your Shadow, Discover Your True Self

“Sorrow prepares you for joy. It violently sweeps everything out of your house so that new joy can find space to enter. —Rumi”
― Beatrice Chestnut, The Complete Enneagram: 27 Paths to Greater Self-Knowledge

“The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be. RALPH WALDO EMERSON”
― Beatrice Chestnut, The Enneagram Guide to Waking Up: Find Your Path, Face Your Shadow, Discover Your True Self

“Deception may give us what we want for the present, but it will always take it away in the end.” —Rachel Hawthorne”
― Beatrice Chestnut, The Enneagram Guide to Waking Up: Find Your Path, Face Your Shadow, Discover Your True Self

“As a Self-Preservation Six his central issue was that he had not developed a strong sense of inner authority (because his father threatened and abused him and didn’t protect or support him); therefore, he had become stuck in and ruled by a defensive strategy run amok. In trying to think his way to certainty and safety using his strong analytical mind, he got caught in an endless loop of fear and questioning and was unable to find a way to feel safe and powerful. He was able to address his heightened anxiety and move forward in his life as he learned to see his thinking patterns from a larger perspective and engage specific practices that worked against these tendencies.”
― Beatrice Chestnut, The Complete Enneagram: 27 Paths to Greater Self-Knowledge

“Being more perfectionistic—not by controlling or stifling emotions, but by actively improving themselves or their environment—can give Fours a sense of control and accomplishment. One Four I know, for example, likes to work in the garden to relax when he has time off. His rows of vegetables are perfect, and his garden is extremely beautiful. Working in his garden provides him with a structured activity that relaxes him, contains him, and lets him express his natural creativity.”
― Beatrice Chestnut, The Complete Enneagram: 27 Paths to Greater Self-Knowledge

“This misalignment between our ingrained habits and our yearning to live authentically and spontaneously becomes a source for all kinds of suffering, dissatisfaction, and unhappiness. The early coping strategies we don’t need anymore become unseen prisons that constrain how we think, feel, and act in ways that feel so familiar and integral that we forget we have the capacity to choose other options. In this way, we go to sleep to ourselves while thinking we are still awake. We lose our freedom to engage creatively and consciously in the world without even knowing we’ve lost it.”
― Beatrice Chestnut, The Complete Enneagram: 27 Paths to Greater Self-Knowledge

“This misalignment between our ingrained habits and our yearning to live authentically and spontaneously becomes a source for all kinds of suffering, dissatisfaction, and unhappiness. The early coping strategies we don’t need anymore become unseen prisons that constrain how we think, feel, and act in ways that feel so familiar and integral that we forget we have the capacity to choose other options.”
― Beatrice Chestnut, The Complete Enneagram: 27 Paths to Greater Self-Knowledge

“But because Calypso’s main motive in the relationship is something she wants for herself rather than the true interest of the other person, she can’t get what she really needs.”
― Beatrice Chestnut, The Complete Enneagram: 27 Paths to Greater Self-Knowledge

“fully Westernized acorns, they went about their business with purposeful energy; and since they were midlife, baby-boomer acorns, they engaged in a lot of self-help courses. There were seminars called “Getting All You Can out of Your Shell.” There were woundedness and recovery groups for acorns who had been bruised in their original fall from the tree. There were spas for oiling and polishing those shells and various acornopathic therapies to enhance longevity and well-being.”
― Beatrice Chestnut, The Complete Enneagram: 27 Paths to Greater Self-Knowledge