R.J. Blain > Quotes

“Book dragons. I’d somehow fallen prey to a pair of book dragons.”
― R.J. Blain, Burn, Baby, Burn

“No one will hurt her.” “And should they try?” “I’ll rip their heads off.” Sexy or creepy, sexy or creepy—I went with very sexy with a side dish of creepy.”
― R.J. Blain, Playing with Fire

“As I thought it was a brilliant idea, I did my parental duty of taking his idea and making it my own.”
― R.J. Blain, Blending In

“No one screws with a mad scientist. I might build a lair, attach lasers to sharks, and take over the world while seeking revenge.”
― R.J. Blain, Burn, Baby, Burn

“Do you eat anything other than bacon?” “I’m sure I could, but why would I want to?” “You have issues, Kanika.” “I don’t see the problem. My issues lead to bacon.”
― R.J. Blain, Whatever for Hire

“Just trust me.” “Only three words worry me more,” the gorgon muttered. “Oh?” “Hold my beer.” I snickered.”
― R.J. Blain, Playing with Fire

“The only thing I could think of worse than being kidnapped was being kidnapped by idiots.”
― R.J. Blain, No Kitten Around

“Sometimes, the only way to deal with adult reality was to indulge in a good thumb sucking while wrapped in a nice blanket.”
― R.J. Blain, Playing with Fire

“Joy. We had adult supervision, and we were adultier adults than the adults attempting to supervise us.”
― R.J. Blain, Blending In

“Violence isn’t exactly wholesome. Wholesome implies you leave them whole after you’re done saying hello.”
― R.J. Blain, Hoofin' It

“I wondered how much human society would change if parents had to fight for the right to bring a new child into their home.”
― R.J. Blain, The Magical Romantic Comedy (with a body count) Starter Pack

“Nothing worth doing is easy. If it were, everyone would be happy. There’s nothing wrong with having higher standards, especially when you’re picking a partner for life.”
― R.J. Blain, Serial Killer Princess

“I wasn’t even used to being someone’s girlfriend yet. I don’t know how to be a wife.”

“Tip: have sex with me, and only me, often.”

“And there’s the rest of my life, having sex with a sinfully hot man. However will I cope?”
― R.J. Blain, Playing with Fire

“What’s a little anemia a couple of times a month”
― R.J. Blain, Hoofin' It

“Changing the past remained outside of the realm of possibility, but I could secure a bright future for my children.”
― R.J. Blain, The Flame Game

“You didn’t come all this way in plain clothes to tell me my alpaca is probably a victim of the sex trade.”
― R.J. Blain, Hoofin' It

“I sighed and glanced at him. “I have an idea.” “Those are the scariest damned words you could possibly say to me right now. Ideas are dangerous things. The only thing more dangerous than you having an idea is your wife having an idea—or my wife having one.”
― R.J. Blain, Burn, Baby, Burn

“In my defense, I had no idea it was that sort of nightclub.”
― R.J. Blain, Hoofin' It

“That society seems to think my virginity is actually worth something is ridiculous. I don’t get anything for having my virginity, and I’m not compensated for losing it, but people seem to think they have the right to tell me—and other women—what to do with our bodies. A man’s virginity is worthless. Nobody cares if a man goes to his wedding day a virgin. There are no campaigns to preserve his precious virginity because a man’s virginity has no value. It’s expected most men are practiced at sleeping around. Women are the ones who pay the price in the eyes of society.”
― R.J. Blain, Client from Hell

“I’d rather share my bed with a devil with questionable morals than one with no morals at all.”
― R.J. Blain, Hoofin' It

“The guy jumps at his own shadow. If you think his reaction to lycanthropes is bad, you should see him face off against a spider.”
― R.J. Blain, Hoofin' It

“I really needed to stop hanging out with beings who thought of me as food.”
― R.J. Blain, Hoofin' It

“All roses start out as nothing but thorns, but given time, their flowers are the most beautiful of all.”
― R.J. Blain, Playing with Fire

“Try to be at least a little gay for once in your life,” I complained. “He’s delicious.”
― R.J. Blain, Hypnos

“Texans. I could always trust them to try anything once.”
― R.J. Blain, Cheetahs Never Win

“Was an afterlife without pretty, stubborn, and infuriating men like Malcolm a heaven or a hell? I’d have to think about it. The cat in me said hell. The sane, logical woman in me said heaven.”
― R.J. Blain, Whatever for Hire

“It turned out otters could, with a little work, flip someone the middle finger.”
― R.J. Blain, Hoofin' It

“Did I just hear a vampire crime lord call someone else a crook?”
― R.J. Blain, Hoofin' It

“You know what happens when women get a hold of books. We get ideas, and you know there’s nothing more dangerous than a woman with ideas.”
― R.J. Blain, Booked for Murder

“just as there was a time to live and die under Heaven’s watchful eye, there was a time to kill, a time to heal, a time to break down, a time to build, a time to weep, a time to laugh, and a time to mourn.”
― R.J. Blain, Cheetahs Never Win