Pamela Butchart > Quotes

“Once we realised it was just Jodi’s mum wearing hair rollers and a moisturising face mask everyone stopped screaming, except for Maisie. That’s when Jodi’s mum said, “Oh darling, I’m so sorry. I must look a fright!” But Maisie wouldn’t stop screaming or believe that it was Jodi’s mum even when she rubbed the face mask off. That’s when Jodi said, “Er, Mum, what did you put in that face mask? Your face looks a bit weird.” And it DID look weird. It was red and bumpy and her eyelids were starting to get all bulgy. Then Jodi’s mum said, “Just what the lady on the TV said to put in. It’s a vegetable facemask. Why? Does it smell funny?” And I said that it DID smell a bit but that wasn’t the reason Maisie was screaming. But Jodi’s mum didn’t understand what was going on until Jodi took her over to the mirror. And that’s when we couldn’t hear Maisie screaming any more because Jodi’s mum screamed louder than I have probably ever heard anyone scream”
― Pamela Butchart, Attack of the Demon Dinner Ladies

“So I asked Granddad if he had ever seen a spy that was our age before, and he said, “No, don’t think so. But now that you mention it, that WOULD be a good disguise!” So Zach said, “Do you think a spy that was really old, like you, could make themselves look young, like us?” And Granddad said, “Definitely. Those spies can do anything.” And then Granddad stared at each one of us, and his eyes went really small, and then he said, “I wouldn’t be surprised if SHE was an old spy girl herself!” and he pointed at Jodi. So Jodi explained how she wasn’t a spy, actually, and that she was just taking all the notes to make sure we didn’t forget everything. And that it was hard because I was talking too fast. And then Granddad said, “And that’s EXACTLY what a spy would say!”
― Pamela Butchart, The Spy Who Loved School Dinners

“And she said that PUDDLE-POX was probably just such a RARE DISEASE that some school nurses didn't know about it. And that made sense.”
― Pamela Butchart, Wigglesbottom Primary 5

“So Gary Petrie gave up and handed Samir a Quaver and he SQUEALED with delight and started sucking on it LOADS. But then Mrs Akbar tried to take the crisp away and Samir started so she gave it back to him and said, “OK. But just ONE.” We all watched as the baby sucked on the Quaver with WIDE EYES until it got all wet and gooey and then he took it out of his mouth and handed it to Haroon and said, “HAROO.” Maisie gasped and said, “He’s trying to say Haroon!” Mrs Akbar clapped her hands together and started screaming a bit again. And Haroon did the smile I have ever seen and gave his baby brother another hug (but he didn’t eat the soggy Quaver). Then Mrs Akbar asked Miss Jones to look after the baby and she took Haroon away into one of the classrooms for a bit. We had what was going on but then a few minutes later Haroon came out and said that his mum had had a little talk with him and asked him why he’d called his brother an ALIEN and that he had told her EVERYTHING. Haroon said his mum had got a bit upset and that she’d said she was sorry she hadn’t realised that he had been feeling left out. And then she said she was just TIRED because babies are HARD WORK and that she was going to make it up to him and that the baby definitely wasn’t controlling her mind with alien powers. Then Haroon told us that the baby had been keeping his mum awake at night, too, and that she thought maybe Samir was LONELY in a room by himself because he LOVED being around people and he probably found it hard being on his own at night time. Haroon”
― Pamela Butchart, The Baby Brother From Outer Space!: World Book Day 2018

“then”
― Pamela Butchart, A Monster Ate My Packed Lunch!

“threw a tartan sock at Dad and walked away.”
― Pamela Butchart, The Spy Who Loved School Dinners

“LOCKER!”
― Pamela Butchart, The Baby Brother From Outer Space!: World Book Day 2018

“Lysander loved trees and was pretty sure he could make a tree-house using just his bare hands. But Helena overheard them planning to run away together and decided to tell Demetrius”
― Pamela Butchart, To Wee or Not To Wee!

“who the baby was or why he was so important that he needed to be coming to our school. Then Mrs Akbar, our Year 3 teacher that we hadn’t seen for ages, came on stage and said that it was HER BABY and that she was coming back to school next week and that she’d brought Samir in with her for the day to see how we were all getting on. EVERYONE turned and looked at Haroon in Year 5 because we knew that Mrs Akbar was his MUM and that the VIP BABY must be his BABY BROTHER. That’s when Jodi said that there was NO WAY she was changing a nappy. And we all knew she said that because she’d had a TRAUMATIC NAPPY EXPERIENCE when she was staying in a caravan with her aunt and her baby cousin. And Jodi said that the had been SO BAD that they’d actually had to move caravans and that she still had NIGHTMARES about it. Then Maisie started rocking backwards and forwards and saying that she was TERRIFIED of babies, especially VIP ONES, and that she was going to have to get her mum to come and pick her up.”
― Pamela Butchart, The Baby Brother From Outer Space!: World Book Day 2018