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“I burned so long so quiet you must have wondered
if I loved you back. I did, I did, I do.”
―
if I loved you back. I did, I did, I do.”
―
“<...> but no one wants to hear you
can't hold on to anything without tearing it apart,
that everyone you love is a stranger to someone
who's a stranger to you, and sometimes who you love
is a stranger, too. <...>”
―
can't hold on to anything without tearing it apart,
that everyone you love is a stranger to someone
who's a stranger to you, and sometimes who you love
is a stranger, too. <...>”
―
“In the story, you fall in love with a girl
on another planet. She’s been dead
for years, but through your telescope
you watch her laugh, laughing too.
You wave when she, remembering
her smallness, remembers the stars.”
―
on another planet. She’s been dead
for years, but through your telescope
you watch her laugh, laughing too.
You wave when she, remembering
her smallness, remembers the stars.”
―
“The Pillowcase"
is printed with iridescent fish, each facing
a different direction. I bought it for you
at the Portland Goodwill our last semester
in college. Spring break we brought it camping.
I pretended I’d eaten sardines before, pretended
I liked them. I don’t remember what you said
when the condom broke. Probably ‘Oh, shit.’
The next day we drove into town. I took a pill
and another pill and it was over. I couldn’t tell
the difference, could have told my friends
but didn’t, just made lots of dead baby jokes
and went to bed in your dorm room.
You’d put painter’s tape on all the edges.
With the pillowcase, it was like living in
the blueprint of an aquarium. I slept there
the night I smoked Sasha’s weed and you
stayed up for hours rubbing my back, telling
fairytales so I wouldn’t totally lose it.
I slept there the night I tried reading you
Haruki Murakami’s Sleep but fell asleep. I slept
there the night after the day I lost
the bet and had to wear a lampshade on my
head and your professor said ‘Nice hat.’ Later I learned
she owns a lamp in the shape of a woman.
I slept there the night you said ‘I think I’m
falling in love with you,’ igniting a great unendurable
belongingness, like a match in a forest fire.
I burned so long so quiet you must have wondered
if I loved you back. I did, I did, I do.”
― Everyone I Love is a Stranger to Someone
is printed with iridescent fish, each facing
a different direction. I bought it for you
at the Portland Goodwill our last semester
in college. Spring break we brought it camping.
I pretended I’d eaten sardines before, pretended
I liked them. I don’t remember what you said
when the condom broke. Probably ‘Oh, shit.’
The next day we drove into town. I took a pill
and another pill and it was over. I couldn’t tell
the difference, could have told my friends
but didn’t, just made lots of dead baby jokes
and went to bed in your dorm room.
You’d put painter’s tape on all the edges.
With the pillowcase, it was like living in
the blueprint of an aquarium. I slept there
the night I smoked Sasha’s weed and you
stayed up for hours rubbing my back, telling
fairytales so I wouldn’t totally lose it.
I slept there the night I tried reading you
Haruki Murakami’s Sleep but fell asleep. I slept
there the night after the day I lost
the bet and had to wear a lampshade on my
head and your professor said ‘Nice hat.’ Later I learned
she owns a lamp in the shape of a woman.
I slept there the night you said ‘I think I’m
falling in love with you,’ igniting a great unendurable
belongingness, like a match in a forest fire.
I burned so long so quiet you must have wondered
if I loved you back. I did, I did, I do.”
― Everyone I Love is a Stranger to Someone
“Nothing in this world is unlike anything else.
So many people will ask you to be
beautiful and urgent, to discover
what you cannot have and desire it.”
―
So many people will ask you to be
beautiful and urgent, to discover
what you cannot have and desire it.”
―
“And all that I was before is out there in the darkness looking for me.”
―
―
