Ben Philippe > Quotes

“We all mess things up. It’s what you do with the mess that matters.”
― Ben Philippe, The Field Guide to the North American Teenager

“City life tends to breed rudeness. Or at least a level of comfort with open displays of rudeness.”
― Ben Philippe, Charming as a Verb

“Why are you so mad at me?" Norris shouted back. The neighbors could definitely hear them now. His throat dry, but he didn't care. "I'm sorry if I interrupted one of your dates, or whatever, but I DID NOT DO ANYTHING! Ground me for leaving prom, ground me for drinking, but I didn't drive, I didn't have unprotected sex, I didn't even get high! You know that! You're supposed to be on my side here, Mom!"
"NO!" she hurled back. "Not on this, Norris" I can't be!"
"Why the hell not?!"
"You know damn well! Trayvon Martin," she began. "Tamir Rice, Cameron Tillman, so many others that I can't remember all their names anymore!"
Norris knew too well. It was almost a ritual, even back in Canada. They would sit as a family and watch quietly. "Be smart out there," Felix used to say.
"You're not a handsome blue-eyed little Ken doll who's going to get a slap on the wrist every time he messes up. That, tonight?" she said, pointing to the door. "Do you know what that was? Do you?!"
"I-"
"That was a fucking coin flip, Norris. That was the coin landing heads." Her finger dug into his chest, punctuating every other word she was saying, spittle flying at his face. "Heads. A good one. Officer Miller, who has four sons, and luckily, mercifully, thank Jesus saw someone else's kid back-talking him tonight."
She exhaled, her breath Thai-food hot against his face.
"Tails." Her voice broke. "Tails, and I would be at the morgue right now identifying you! With some man lecturing me about our blood alcohol level and belligerent language and how you had it coming.”
― Ben Philippe, The Field Guide to the North American Teenager

“Everyone's a dick by someone else's standards.”
― Ben Philippe, The Field Guide to the North American Teenager

“Montreal is nothing like Manhattan; it’s smaller and more concentrated, and unlike the city that never sleeps, Montreal feels like a city that’s gotten a good night’s rest and woken up in time for a bike ride alongside the Saint Lawrence River.”
― Ben Philippe, Charming as a Verb

“No one is apolitical. Not a single person. The few people I’ve met who proudly consider themselves as such tend to assume that not paying attention, not voting, isn’t in itself a privilege. That it is not in itself proof that their day-to-day existence won’t be affected by choosing to stay on the sidelines, tending to literal gardens. The fact of the matter is that if you have a life that leaves you foolproof to politics, your politics approximate to “privileged.”
― Ben Philippe, Sure, I'll Be Your Black Friend: Notes from the Other Side of the Fist Bump – A Hilarious Memoir-in-Essays on Race and Identity

“The way his mother loved him was occasionally vexing in how overwhelming it could be. Like the sun or some other celestial body; facing it too directly might kill him.”
― Ben Philippe, The Field Guide to the North American Teenager

“It doesn’t matter if you make a mess. It matters that you fix it. Maybe the whole point of approaching life as origami that the documentary had missed was learning to fold your sharp edges.”
― Ben Philippe, The Field Guide to the North American Teenager

“You’ve gotten gayer,” Norris noted after a long comfortable silence. Eric gasped and moved an exaggeratedly limp wrist to his chest, feigning dramatic outrage.”
― Ben Philippe, The Field Guide to the North American Teenager

“Cobblestone streets are coded into the genetic material of the western definition of romance,” she says coolly.”
― Ben Philippe, Charming as a Verb

“When you were the child of immigrants, you weren't just you; your success was also your parents' your cousins', your relatives' still struggling for life in Haiti or India, wishing they were you. It was your job, your preordained celestial existence or whatever, to make the most of it.”
― Ben Philippe, The Field Guide to the North American Teenager

“Real advice, though? Stop trying to imagine what the other person wants to hear; that’s actively dumb.”
― Ben Philippe, Charming as a Verb

“All children are charming as an adjective, but you’re charming as a verb.”
― Ben Philippe, Charming as a Verb

“Most people—heck, most living beings—have fight or flight as their two responses to crisis. You, Norris? You're a poker. You don't fight; you poke, and then run away. I don't know why. Maybe so you can feel rightfully victimized?”
― Ben Philippe, The Field Guide to the North American Teenager

“How many others have there been that you and I will never hear about? How many Black hearts were violently stopped between Emmett Till and George Floyd? Away from crowds and before cell phone cameras?”
― Ben Philippe, Sure, I'll Be Your Black Friend: Notes from the Other Side of the Fist Bump – A Hilarious Memoir-in-Essays on Race and Identity

“I wonder how many simultaneous tabs she keeps open in her brain.”
― Ben Philippe, Charming as a Verb

“THE END But also, like, not really. That’s kind of the point.”
― Ben Philippe, The Field Guide to the North American Teenager

“It makes sense; we’re all dealing with the looming trauma of graduation. Any weekend is a good excuse for a party, and any party is a good opportunity to create a memory. There’s something new ahead, of course, but life as we all know it is in countdown mode.”
― Ben Philippe, Charming as a Verb

“Who they are when there are other people around isn’t who they are when they’re alone.”
― Ben Philippe, The Field Guide to the North American Teenager

“It’s not always hatred or disdain that makes your skin crawl. In fact, sometimes, it’s the exact opposite: Some people will easily love your Blackness. They will respond to it, gravitate toward it, see it before they even see the rest of you. And once they see it and classify it into their preferred category, they won’t bother to look any further. The rest of you is just a skeleton holding up that beautiful Black skin.”
― Ben Philippe, Sure, I'll Be Your Black Friend: Notes from the Other Side of the Fist Bump – A Hilarious Memoir-in-Essays on Race and Identity

“I tend to picture HarperCollins as an assembly line of hyper-literary raccoons, which now just sounds adorable. Little glasses on their noses and everything . . . Where was I? Oh, right. Acknowledgments.”
― Ben Philippe, Charming as a Verb

“Yes, we're all overly polite, forage for berries in the summers, and craft simple wooden objects of great beauty around the fire at night.”
― Ben Philippe, The Field Guide to the North American Teenager

“To this day, I tend to victim-blame people who come back from vacation with green hair or complaining about anything other than getting sunburnt at the beach. Slipping on a rock while climbing waterfalls during your spring break trip to Cenote Tres Oches of Homún, Mexico, and breaking an ankle? Why were you there? Who told you that would be a good idea? Were you taking a selfie? Like, why would you put yourself in that position? Respect the waters, for they are deep and insidious.”
― Ben Philippe, Sure, I'll Be Your Black Friend: Notes from the Other Side of the Fist Bump – A Hilarious Memoir-in-Essays on Race and Identity

“I see “Anti-Antifa” T-shirts, which is just grammatically redundant. There’s an easier word there.”
― Ben Philippe, Sure, I'll Be Your Black Friend: Notes from the Other Side of the Fist Bump – A Hilarious Memoir-in-Essays on Race and Identity

“When you were the child of immigrants, you weren’t just you; your success was also your parents’, your cousins’, your relatives’ still struggling for life in Haiti or India, wishing they were you. It was your job, your preordained celestial existence or whatever, to make the most of it.”
― Ben Philippe, The Field Guide to the North American Teenager

“By and large, Anderson High was an easy school. Not the people, obviously—walking land mines, each and every one of them—but the classes themselves were all fairly simple.”
― Ben Philippe, The Field Guide to the North American Teenager

“It has nothing to do with what college you get into, dang it. You’re not some trophy to me. You’re—you’re my kid, and I adore you. Your mom says I should say it more. And I think she’s right.”
― Ben Philippe, Charming as a Verb

“To my mother, Belzie.
I would have made a terrible doctor, mom.
People would have died.”
― Ben Philippe, The Field Guide to the North American Teenager

“The first skill an only child learns is to be alone and completely satisfied. Norris had fourteen years of experience under his belt; having someone else to talk to was nice, sure, but it had never been a necessity.”
― Ben Philippe, The Field Guide to the North American Teenager

“I'm the understudy for Negro on Ice”
― Ben Philippe, The Field Guide to the North American Teenager