Ren Alexander > Quotes

“He was acting like one of those crazy sons of bitches that you see on an episode of Hoarders. You know, the one who can’t let go of an old sock because their dog gave birth on it.”

--Rod”
― Ren Alexander, Chasing the Wild Sparks

“What the hell do you have on, by the way? You look like a reject from Karate Kid 10: Daniel’s Downward Spiral: The Musical.

-Morgan”
― Ren Alexander, Chasing the Wild Sparks

“Together or not, either way, I’m going down in flames. So, like you said, let’s suffer together.”
― Ren Alexander, The Keys to Jericho

“Still, pouring jizz into a baggie tube hanging from my dick while inside someone is strange as hell. But a good strange. I mean, the alternative is not having sex. And I’m now fucking addicted to fucking.”
― Ren Alexander, Unhinged

“The new girlfriend has my sympathies because your pitching technique lacked flair and you often fell short, embarrassing yourself.”
― Ren Alexander, Unhinged

“Greg. My name is Greg. It has been since birth. Ask my parents.”
― Ren Alexander, Unleashed

“You're like fogged glass I can't touch. A solar eclipse I can't look at. Forbidden fruit I can't eat.

~Greg Rodwell”
― Ren Alexander, Unscrewed

“My hard-on was instant, painful, and desperate, making those I had for my BFF PG-13. Yet, Simone pushes my buttons in every fucking thing in my life, and her arousing me is always an X-rated experience.”
― Ren Alexander, Unhinged

“Did you forget I gave you the best sex of your life? And I’d even been celibate for a damn decade while you slept with clueless little frat boys.”
― Ren Alexander, Unleashed

“I saw you with her, and I can’t stand in your way, but I also can’t stand to watch you fall in love.”
― Ren Alexander

“I think you need a hobby. Like knife sharpening or archery.”
― Ren Alexander

“I’m wearing my ELO shirt you slept in, not because it smells good, but because I owe them an apology for your ineptitude.”
― Ren Alexander, Unhinged

“You think I’ve changed? Well, all aboard the Crazy Train and hold on for wretched life. Those sharp turns and sudden betrayals are a bitch.”
― Ren Alexander, Unhinged

“coming”
― Ren Alexander, The Keys to Jericho

“You’re kidding? No one expects decorum from me. I have zero fucks left. They already assume shit about me, anyway.”
― Ren Alexander, Unleashed