J.B. O'Neil > Quotes

“To the top of the tower, to the top of the wall! Now fart away, fart away, fart away all!” Santa cried, and then the reindeer took off running over the lawn. Suddenly, they all let out a giant reindeer fart, and Santa’s sleigh flew up into the air!”
― J.B. O'Neil, Santa Farts: Merry Fartmas! - A Hilarious Book for Kids Age 7-9

“Attack!”
― J.B. O'Neil, Video Game Ninjas 3: Rise of the Ogre King

“the city we stopped at the local cantina. “Um, Fart-”
― J.B. O'Neil, Fart Wars May the Farts Be With You

“fart.”
― J.B. O'Neil, The Amazing Fart-Man: Stinky Super-Hero...

“was”
― J.B. O'Neil, The Fart Book: Whiff it, Sniff it, Lay it, Rip it! - Milo Snotrocket's Gross-out Guide to Thunderpants and Toilet Tunes

“I raised my right hand to my nose, closed my left nostril, and shot a screaming booger 27 feet into the air. Peter was obviously impressed, so I grabbed his hand and shook it hard, and shook, and shook. “Uh Milo…you can let go of my hand now.” Peter said. But”
― J.B. O'Neil, The Booger Book: Pick it, Lick it, Roll it, Flick it! - A Hilarious Book for Kids Age 7-9

“but after seeing her come home and track zombie brains all over her fuzzy carpet with her motorcycle boots (and getting really mad about it when she found out),”
― J.B. O'Neil, Grandma vs. Zombies - Kicking Zombie Butt... "Old School Style"

“You”
― J.B. O'Neil, Fart Wars May the Farts Be With You

“We’re being MOONED!” There was a giant metal butt floating in space with the words “Galactic Farter, Property of the Empire” written just above the crack.”
― J.B. O'Neil, Fart Wars May the Farts Be With You