Ed Robinson > Quotes

“Change is hard because people overestimate the value of what they have – and underestimate the value of what they may gain by giving that up.”
― Ed Robinson, Leap of Faith: Quit Your Job and Live on a Boat

“Women are like boats: They require constant maintenance and attention, and they cost a lot of money. Men are more like buses. Another will eventually come along.”
― Ed Robinson, Poop, Booze, and Bikinis

“Booze is the duct tape of life.”
― Ed Robinson, Poop, Booze, and Bikinis

“A terrible skipper was going back and forth through the anchorage, searching for a place to drop the hook before dark. Looking up to heaven he said, "Lord take pity on me.   If you find me a good spot, I will donate to charity, give up the demon rum, treat women with respect, pay my taxes, and never again give my crew all of the blame and none of the glory!" Miraculously, the boat with the best spot in the bay began pulling up anchor to leave. The skipper looked up again and said, "Never mind, I found one myself.”
― Ed Robinson, Poop, Booze, and Bikinis

“There's this sailor with a pet parrot. But the parrot swears like an old sea captain. He can swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself! Trouble is, the sailor who owns him is a quiet, conservative type, and this bird's foul mouth is driving him crazy. One day, it gets to be too much, so the sailor grabs the bird by the throat, shakes him really hard, and yells, "QUIT IT!" But this just makes the bird mad and he swears more than ever. Then the sailor locks the bird in a kitchen cabinet. This really aggravates the bird and he claws and scratches everything inside. Finally the sailor lets the bird out. The bird cuts loose with a stream of vulgarities that would make a veteran seaman blush. The sailor is so mad that he throws the bird into the freezer. For the first few seconds there is a terrible racket from inside. Then it suddenly gets very quiet. At first the sailor just waits, but then he starts to think that the bird may be hurt. He's opens up the freezer door. The bird calmly climbs onto the man's outstretched arm and says, "Awfully sorry about the trouble I gave you. I'll do my best to improve my vocabulary from now on." The man is astounded. He can't understand the transformation that has come over the parrot. The parrot speaks again, "By the way, what did the chicken do?”
― Ed Robinson, Poop, Booze, and Bikinis

“wenches”
― Ed Robinson, Poop, Booze, and Bikinis

“money in”
― Ed Robinson, Poop, Booze, and Bikinis

“One man’s terrorist is another man’s freedom fighter. If you stop to think about it for a few minutes, you can’t help but conclude that the modern world has gone completely insane. Face it. Global conditions are one big chaotic swirling minefield threatening to tear through our trailer park. Meanwhile we consider which new golden gadget to buy while our government prints more money”
― Ed Robinson, Leap of Faith: Quit Your Job and Live on a Boat

“Punta Gorda,”
― Ed Robinson, Leap of Faith: Quit Your Job and Live on a Boat

“When the Zombie Apocalypse happens, the benefits of living on a boat will be amazingly numerous. Anchor out in deep enough water and watch the death and destruction from the safety of your vessel. Zombies killed everyone in town? Pick up anchor and move to a new location.”
― Ed Robinson, Poop, Booze, and Bikinis

“Mighty Neptune, King of all that moves in or on the waves, and mighty Aeolus, guardian of the winds and all that blow before them: We offer our thanks for the protection you have afforded this vessel in the past, but now we submit this application. That the name by which this vessel has previously been known, Norvic, be struck and removed from your records. In consequence whereof, and in good faith, we seal this pact with a libation offered according to the hallowed ritual of the Sea. Oh might and great ruler of the seas and oceans, to whom all ships and we who venture upon your vast domain are required to pay homage, implore you in your graciousness to take unto your records, and recollections, this worthy vessel hereafter and for all time known as Leap of Faith, guarding her with your mighty arm and trident and ensuring her of safe passage throughout her journeys. In honor of your greatness, we offer these libations to your majesty and your court. I offer a toast. To Leap of Faith and the union of Ed and Kim; may they enjoy calm seas and gentle winds. The renaming ceremony was”
― Ed Robinson, Leap of Faith: Quit Your Job and Live on a Boat