Minecraft Books > Quotes

“You know how my first few minutes in a new Minecraft world are usually spent screaming, running for my life, and hiding from scary monsters—sometimes even GIANT ones! Well, not this time! Instead of a giant monster, I was plopped down in front of a giant MANSION! (Yay, Minecraft: Peaceful Paradise floating book!) And the best part was that it wasn’t all dark and creepy like the Haunted House! It was an awesome modern mansion made of white stone and glass. Even better, it was built on a hillside overlooking an ocean! Actually, it reminded me of Tony Stark’s house in one of my favorite movies, Iron Man. I guess you could say it’s a MARVEL-ous mansion! (Heh, heh.)   Anyway,”
― Minecrafty Family, Wimpy Steve Book 9: Portal Panic! (An Unofficial Minecraft Diary Book)

“(By the way, I’m pretty sure Moo thinks I’ve lost my marbles. Or should I say blocks?)”
― Minecrafty Family, Minecraft Diary: Wimpy Steve Book 6: Minecraft Mysteries!

“OUCH! OUCH! OUCH!”
― Minecrafty Family, Wimpy Steve Book 9: Portal Panic! (An Unofficial Minecraft Diary Book)

“(Note to self: Remember to find a way back home.)”
― Minecrafty Family, Trapped in Minecraft!

“(Note to self: Follow Mom’s rule, “Watch where you’re walking.”)”
― Minecrafty Family, In the Dog House!

“Actually, it reminded me of Tony Stark’s house in one of my favorite movies, Iron Man. I guess you could say it’s a MARVEL-ous mansion! (Heh, heh.)”
― Minecrafty Family, Wimpy Steve Book 9: Portal Panic! (An Unofficial Minecraft Diary Book)

“So I got creative. Carrots! (They seem to be the answer to most of my food problems.)”
― Minecrafty Family, Lots of Ocelots!

“And I thought being stuck with morons in middle school was bad. Being stuck with monsters in Minecraft is MUCH worse!”
― Minecrafty Family Books, Trapped in Minecraft!

“That’s when I flipped out a little bit. For about ten minutes straight. I probably would have freaked out for longer, but it’s exhausting screaming, flapping my arms, and running in circles on stumpy little legs.”
― Minecrafty Family, Trapped in Minecraft!

“What’s brown and sticky on a crafting table? A stick.”
― Minecrafty Family Books, Minecraft Jokes for Kids!: Companion Book to the Diary of a Wimpy Steve series

“Good News: I found wool. Bad News: There isn’t cotton candy in Minecraft.”
― Minecrafty Family, Wimpy Steve Book 2: Horsing Around! (An Unofficial Minecraft Diary Book)

“plan”
― Minecraft Books, Wimpy Steve Book 5: A Bad Hare Day! (An Unofficial Minecraft Diary Book)

“Well, here’s a quick summary of my archery adventures:   1) The Gobbling Grass: Dad set the target up in a big open field, and he gave me his old wooden arrows to start out with. I scored a hit with every arrow—if you count the ground as a target.  Result: We lost half of the arrows in the tall grass.   2) The Ruthless Rocks: This time Dad set the target up on the side of a hill so we could use it as a backstop. My arrows hit every time—the hill, not the target. Unfortunately, the wooden arrows broke when they hit rocks hidden under the dirt. (For the record, it wasn’t my fault. I didn’t put the rocks in the hillside.) Dad mumbled something about keeping my eyes open while aiming. Result:  We ran out of wooden arrows, and Dad switched me to aluminum ones.   3) The Luring Lake: This time I used the same target on the hillside but Dad’s aluminum arrows. He told me to aim a little higher because the aluminum arrows were heavier. So I drew the first arrow back as far as I could, aimed up, and fired. The arrow flew beautifully—way over the target, clean over the hill, and PLUNK into the pond. My next two arrows came much closer. The last one even almost hit the hill. Result: Dad decided we’d done enough archery, and we should try fishing instead. (And we all know how well that worked out.)”
― Minecrafty Family Books, Wimpy Steve Book 5: A Bad Hare Day! (An Unofficial Minecraft Diary Book)

“Then the cyclops fish shot some more laser beams at me! AAAAAHHHHH!”
― Minecrafty Family, Wimpy Steve Book 10: Ocean Commotion! (An Unofficial Minecraft Diary Book)

“It was a chicken. He had flown through the hole in the ceiling, and was flapping down. But he didn’t stop at my floor. He went straight through the hole where the blue block had been. He kept on falling and flapping, all the way down into the treasure room. It looked like my test dummy had found me. He landed gently on the gray square.     Nothing happened. I exhaled with relief.   And then…KABOOM!  Yep, I guess I was right after all. It WAS a booby trap. I thanked my lucky stars that I hadn’t tried it out myself. But then I felt kind of bad for the chicken. That brave (and bird-brained) chicken had saved my life! I will forever remember that chicken as Buster, my crash-test dummy. (I think “dummy” may be an especially accurate description in this case.)   Sadly, the chests didn’t make it. There was only a giant crater where they used to be. So long riches and possibly cookies. That’s the way the cookie crumbles. *sigh*   Monday   Good News: I have five emeralds. Bad News: I think another librarian doesn’t like me.   Whew! My pack mule days are finally done. Over the past couple of days, I gathered the last ten blocks of wool I needed to trade for a saddle, and dragged them back to the village. Then, one-by-one I grabbed the blocks of wool from the library, and gave them to the farmer. I don’t think the librarian was too pleased with me. She strung together about nine “Hurrrs” while I removed my blocks of wool. I’ve never heard villagers speak so much. In my experience, that’s usually not a good thing. (Think: Mr. Rimoldi.)   Anyway, it was totally worth it. My wooly trade with the farmer went down without a hitch. Tomorrow I get a saddle!”
― Minecrafty Family, Wimpy Steve Book 2: Horsing Around! (An Unofficial Minecraft Diary Book)

“Mischief managed!”
― Minecrafty Family Books, Wimpy Steve Book 5: A Bad Hare Day! (An Unofficial Minecraft Diary Book)

“that read, “Glow Low 2 Enter.” What did that”
― Minecrafty Family Books, Lots of Ocelots!

“I was panting so hard I sounded like Darth Vader after running a marathon”
― Minecrafty Family Books, Wimpy Steve Book 5: A Bad Hare Day! (An Unofficial Minecraft Diary Book)

“I jumped every time a mob fell into the lava and fried in the flames! It was like a giant, disgusting bug zapper (a.k.a. the Mob Zapper 3000)!”
― Minecrafty Family Books, Wimpy Steve Book 5: A Bad Hare Day! (An Unofficial Minecraft Diary Book)

“This is Buck in a nutshell. He either has no clue what I’m saying, or he has a really warped sense of humor. I’ve tried, and failed at, everything I know to get him to follow directions.  Mostly he just wanders around ignoring me, like I’m not even on his back. But sometimes he does the exact OPPOSITE of what I say. Some examples include: “Whoa!” means “Run!” and “Giddyup!” means “Stop now!” (I may have flown off once or twice).”
― Minecrafty Family, Wimpy Steve Book 2: Horsing Around! (An Unofficial Minecraft Diary Book)

“Monday”
― Minecrafty Family, Minecraft Diary: Wimpy Steve Book 6: Minecraft Mysteries!

“ducked under a nearby waterfall thinking it would pull me back up the hill to safety. But, of course, gravity was back to normal.  The water only crashed down on me, and onto the Creepy Cactus that followed me! I jumped into the lake and doggie paddled for my life. The Creepy Cactus swam after me, hot on my heels. Then things got really strange. The Creepy Cactus hissed and vibrated. Then it swelled up until... KABOOM! The explosion threw me up out of the water. I picked myself up, and sprinted back through the swamp as fast as my stumpy little legs could carry me. I dashed around trees and”
― Minecrafty Family Books, Trapped in Minecraft!

“Bob? Nope. - Freddy? Nope. - Albus? Nope. - Edgar? Extra no!”
― Minecrafty Family, Wimpy Steve Book 11: Mansion Mayhem! (An Unofficial Minecraft Diary Book)

“My survival instincts kicked in (better late than never!), and I tore off into the jungle. I clambered over shrubs. I scrambled under trees. I think I even smashed a body-shaped hole through a large bush!”
― Minecrafty Family, Lots of Ocelots!

“(Yeah, I was right. That’s never getting paid.)”
― Minecrafty Family, Wimpy Steve Book 2: Horsing Around! (An Unofficial Minecraft Diary Book)

“actually LIVE long enough to”
― Minecrafty Family Books, Trapped in Minecraft!

“Since I had two brand new Ender Pearls, all I needed was Blaze powder. I fished around inside my magic expandable pocket and pulled out the yellow Blaze rod I had picked up when I visited the nasty Nether a few worlds back. I plunked it down on the crafting table, and two little piles of yellow powder appeared! That was the easy part. Then came the hard part—putting everything together! Making stuff in Minecraft usually means arranging every single ingredient on a crafting table in EXACTLY the right way. And if just one little thing is out of place, you get NOTHING! Let me tell you, I was NOT looking forward to hours and hours of trial and error and error and error and... But I psyched myself up by remembering that Eyes of Ender were my only way back home! I took a deep breath, and got ready for a long and boring day of flailing around at a crafting table. So of course, after getting myself all worked up, the second I put the ingredients on the crafting table an Eye of Ender instantly appeared! I guess you could say it was “Eye-ronic!” (Heh. Get it? Eye-ronic = ironic!) Hey, don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining! I’m just glad that the Minecraft irony worked in MY favor for once! Then quick as a flash, I had two brand new Eyes of Ender! Unfortunately, that didn’t mean my problems were over just yet. The torn page made it sound like I’d need a bunch of Eyes, and I was fresh out of Blaze powder! I couldn’t go back to the Nether (no Nether Portal… and no DEATH WISH either!), so there wasn’t any way for me to get more! Hmm. Or was there? Hanging all over the walls inside the tower, were all kinds of framed pictures. One of them was a Blaze rod, and another one was Blaze powder. They looked totally life-like. Then a crazy idea popped into my head. I reached out, and tapped a picture. The Blaze rod went POP! out of the frame, and onto the floor! It WAS real! I tapped the “picture” of the Blaze powder, and it popped out too! WOW! Man, if I had known the items in the frames were REAL, I’d have pulled out stuff in the other hacker kid houses, and saved myself TONS of time and trouble and, more importantly… PAIN!”
― Minecrafty Family, Wimpy Steve Book 12: Eyes on the Prize! (An Unofficial Minecraft Diary Book)

“Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace!”
― Minecrafty Family, Wimpy Steve Book 10: Ocean Commotion! (An Unofficial Minecraft Diary Book)

“Bad News: It’s still just a wolf.”
― Minecrafty Family, In the Dog House!

“Dirk the Jerk had a new computer game called Minecraft. He was bragging about how he was a master of Minecraft. I didn’t really understand what he was saying, but I think it was something about: - fighting the big, black Underwear Men (Seriously?) - defeating ghosts in the Netherlands - being super close to conquering the Slender Dragon (I wonder, how tough could a skinny dragon really be?)   After a while, I just wanted him to shut up! He went on and on and on until I just snapped!   “Yeah? Well, I finished the game on the fourth of July, loser!” I yelled.  I swear the word LOSER echoed throughout the school.   Loser! Loser! Loser!   Eyes bulged and mouths hung open all around us. Tension filled the hallway. Nobody talked to Dirk the Jerk that way. NOBODY. Unfortunately, that didn’t shut him up. He smirked, and challenged me to a Minecraft survival marathon on a popular server this weekend. Of course, I immediately accepted.”
― Minecrafty Family, Trapped in Minecraft!